Hypothetical scenario:  she's a provider reknowned for her BBBJ skills and consistently gets top reviews.  However, for some strange reason, you are denied the BBBJ (or something else that you absolutely crave), and the best she offers is CBJ.  You try to reason with her, but she refuses.  Would you at this point consider telling her that you'll write her a lousy review if she doesn't commit to the act...hoping that such a threat might cause her to change her mind?

Has anyone ever done this before?  I'm curious what the code of ethics would dictate regarding situations in which the girl's performance and attitude fell far below one's expectations based on previous reviews.

Well.. according to your hypothetical scenario, you can't exactly write a bad review and be truthful about it, can you?  What you can say is that you were only offered a CBJ although you asked for BBBJ.  Some people think that's good!

And do you really, really need somebody to tell whether or not threatening someone with bad publicity to get her to do what you want is ETHICAL or not???  Did you ask her upfront about it, and she said yes to bbbj but then balked when you were there?  Or did you just assume and now you want to take it out on her?  We're not responsible for what people write about us, you know.  Anonymous reviewers may not be the ultimate source of truth in advertising - just a thought.

-Anya

From talking to and reading the various ladies posts, just about everything you can think of and a few you probably never considered have been tried concerning reviews. Guys have tried to get freebies for posting the right reviews. They have tried to get the ladies to do things they normal do not do and things that they think she offers but were not offerred to them.

I use reviews to get a guideline on how she behaves in a session and some parameters for what she offers. There is a lot of YMMV in this business and you need to roll with it. I have had ladies started a session with CBJ, and ten minutes later she has ripped off the cover and is now doing BBBJ.

Patience, understanding and a relaxed attitude seem to be the real keys to having the best time. If she is having a great time and you happen to click, she might offer things that you would never expect. The providers aree humans with feelings and desires. The guys that treat them as utilities that are disposable are going to get the bare minimum of services.

Threaten to write a bad review?  I absolutely wouldn't, nor would I offer to write a great review in exchange for extra favors, reduced fee, etc.  All that stuff is a form of coercion & has no place in reviews...even though I'm sure some exits.  

The review should be written, but written honestly.  Nothing wrong with expressing your disappointment with what was on the menu.  But realize your own expectations played a part.  I don't know how much research you put into checking reviews, but the best way of avoiding disappointments is to check a little on each reviewee & never take anything at face value.  In addition to some reviews being embellished, there may always be things that are available to some clients but not all.  It is after all, the lady's choice.  

But you certainly shouldn't go overboard on the issue of her attitude.  Some who've read your post might wonder about your own attitude.  Trying to "reason" with her, doesn't read the same as asking if she would...& certainly the fact that you'd even consider using a review as a threat doesn't speak well either.

Not only is that a scummy thing to do (i.e. ruin a girl's rep and possibly affect her livlihood falsely), but have you stopped to consider that it might have been your fault she didn't want to do BBBJ? Maybe you smelled bad and refused to shower. Maybe she saw marks on your dick that looked odd, and rather than ask if you were clean she decided not to risk her health. There are many reasons aside from the ones already stated here that she wouldn't have given you that.

And I can tell you from personal experience that trying to convince or threaten her would NOT make her more willing to do something she already decided not to do: that kind of attitude just makes the women less likely to get into the session and give great service. No one likes to be bullied, especially when it concerns something so personal.

My two cents: write your review saying she did CBJ instead of BBBJ if you'd like, but don't falsify the info. Karma kicks butt and it will come back to haunt you some day.

coraline

give out references to providers from other providers...for sure he'd never get a date again!!!

And another reason some services are retracted is because of hygiene!   So the gentleman in question DOES need to take a look at himself.  Scuse me, I didn't mean "gentleman", really, lol.  

-- Modified on 11/16/2003 1:40:52 PM

Unfortunately, part of the problem is such cases is that over time a Lady can change her Dos & Don’t, but the profile seems to stay “stuck” on what it was for her first review.  I have encountered some who have added, some who have subtracted.  This is also true for hair color/length, fee, etc.  I have found that when I clearly point out a change in my review, sometimes it has resulted in a profile change.  Even if it doesn’t, it lets the readers know.

But, under no circumstances should this have anything to do with threats or bribes, be they reviews or otherwise.

If her services were not to your expectations, an honest review indicating such is written.  I'm writing one like that now, but at no time did aI threaten the provider.  I did ask her why her services changed, and  she just said she wasn't doing that particular service any more because she was just uncomfortable with it.

Her performance grade will not be good in my review for many reasons I won't go into here, but at no time in the 2 hours I spent with this gal did I do anything to threaten or coerce her to do anything she didn't want to do.

Given the intimacy and LE tensions associated with this hobby, I don't think you should EVER try to get a provider to do something they are not comfortable with.

To use a TER review as leverage, in my view, would make it even worse.

Not to speak for Staff, but I recall a now former TER participant being banned for even suggesting he would exchange favorable reviews for discounts or free time.  So I would be very careful about involving TER in your discussions with providers.

That all said, you are certainly entitled to write an HONEST review which you think may reflect poorly on a provider.  But your integrity is a stake too, so if the provider has all 9's and you give her a 5 it's going to look like sour grapes.  If you honestly think she deserves a 5 (or whatever) then I'd be clear in the review as to why you think that so that others can evaluate your review accordingly.

Ever heard of the term YMMV?  Maybe you had a smelly nut sack, or maybe she just wasn't into you.  Remember you are paying for her time only, so it is the providers choice to do what she wants during the time together.  Never try to coerce or do something that the provider does not want to do.  It's her body, her choice.  Not yours.

...it seems all the responses are pretty clear in their message---don't ever stoop so low as to threaten and certainly never in a session with a provider...
Personally, I never bring up TER or any board during a session- it is true that we walk in the door and leave or envelope and the 'transaction' has occured...but then, I still operate under the code that anything that happens after that will depend on chemistry, some conversation, and attraction coupled with sensual desire.  It usually works out very well.  Am I being fooled into thinking that anything that happens afterwards was in any way mutual?  Perhaps.  But then again, this is part of the fantasy and fulfillment that you are paying for.  Obviously, if nothing happens or it is all just mechanical, what can you say?  If she picks and chooses due to whatever reasons she has, can you really force the issue and then have a good time?  Yuck!

Besides being a totally sleezy thing to do!

Even though I think it's b/c your grooming habits weren't up to par...
Maybe just maybe
She had a outbreak of herpes in her mouth and was protecting you from transmitting it or sometimes women can get yeast in their throats/ mouths ( also transmittable)or something funky that she wanted to protect you from......

Before meeting the provider did you purposly request a BBBJ?

Did she say she had no problems with it?

IF that is the case, write a FAIR review on what you thought. Do NOT give her low scores like a 1 or 2, but in your review write down BBBJ was expected, not provided.

Remember TER states that reviews are for entertainment purposes.

If you want something in particular, always ask.

Shaye

If you have to threaten a woman to be intimate with you that is just low.  Yes, I know I'm paying her but I like to be myself when I'm with her - being a man is being a gentleman.  In fact, I can't enjoy myself if I don't feel the woman appears to enjoy her time with me.

If your time was a big disappointment then just cut your losses and leave with DIGNITY.

I would rather than threaten her..ask yourself why she wont.. did you shower... are you nice...and not to sound rude..but if i had a client threaten me in any way shape or form..I would get up..give him back the money and walk straight out the door...and never take a call or email from him again...this may sound harsh but..if you think that those questions are legitimate things you wonder about..then either you are seeing the wrong people or well I am too nice to say the other... but if a provider advertises that she does certain things and does not..too me that false advertising...

It's blackmail.  Let's see, I could describe this behavior as repugnant, disgusting, unforgivable.  Hopefully the scenario you describe is indeed hypothetical and you still have time to back off with your self respect and the respect of others intact.

at no time should you be threatening anyone.
You always have the freedom to leave a review good or bad, as long as it's honest. Many guys have had bad experiences but I have never read that they tried to threaten or convince the lady to change her mind. The new better than to post it if the did. Bottom line is that there is never a time where it is acceptable to threaten anyone.

I don't know why I've picked this message to respond to.  Maybe it's because you (Shaye) seem (along with Sedona and others) very thoughtful about our little corner of the world, and willing to share your insights.

In response to a lot of questions about what's available, I've seen lots of posts, from providers and hobbyists alike, advising to "just ask" if a particular service is available.  Are you, as a provider, comfortable with this from a LE perspective?  If so, at what point in the relationship?  Obviously, you're OK with repeat clients, but repeat clients usually don't need to ask.  If I was a provider, and got an e-mail asking about specifics, I'd ignore it.  Even over the phone I might be reluctant.  

Just wondering what your thoughts are.  Feel free to respond either here or in PM.

If a provider does not come across as advertised, don't threaten, just leave.

Work out a reduced rate, make some other accomodation or pack it up and call it a day.

NEVER threaten anything.  It doesn't work, it will get you in trouble (here and/or legally) and it's bad Karma all around.

Delivery on expectations is something you get from regulars and AFTs, not from first time encounters.

Remember, its her mouth going down on your dick.  If she choses not to service you as she does others, that is her choice.

Also remember that it is your choice to leave once you are disappointed.  Its a monetary decision for both of you, but remember, she's in control of her body and you are in control of the money.

Quid pro quo!

"Would you at this point consider telling her that you'll write her a lousy review if she doesn't commit to the act...hoping that such a threat might cause her to change her mind?"

Absolutely not. You'd be extracting a service under coercion. Not only is that reprehensible, but where's the fun? In my opinion, only a very low person would do something like this.

The correct thing to do would be to take what services are offered and then make your disappointment known in your review, and to be polite and factual while doing so.

--b.

"Would you at this point consider telling her that you'll write her a lousy review if she doesn't commit to the act...hoping that such a threat might cause her to change her mind?"

No, for two reasons:

1) [Strategic reason: coercion is incompatable with the desired outcome.]  I would never try to pressure a provider into a certain act, because that would inhibit the resulting pleasure.  At least for me, a partner's willingness and enthusiasm (or at least APPARENT enthusiasm; I realize the girls sometimes fake it) are necessary for enjoyment.  If I have to pressure her, then I know she's not into it.  If I know she's not into it, then it's going to be a lot less fun.

2) [Ethical reason: inaccurate reviews damage the utility of the review database.  If YOU attack the database, then you justify others in attacking the database.  Everyone loses.]  An honest, informative, and accurate review of such a session, will naturally be lower than that provider's average.  And that's fine.  But it shouldn't be lower than THAT; it shouldn't be deliberately "lousy."  Just have it be accurate, and the truth will "punish" the provider enough.

It is not appropriate to threaten a provider with a bad review because she only gave you a CBJ instead of a BBBJ.  However you are allowed to right an honest review of your experience and per the TER performance rating scale a CBJ is not rated as highly as a BBBJ.  

However as you suggest Normdale most providers will not discuss what is on the menu with clients.  This is stated on the website of many providers.  I find it disingenuous on the part of the providers responding here to ask if you were promised a bbbj in advance.  If you mention specific acts via a phone conversation or an e-mail you will be hung up on or your email deleted in most cases.  If they do not end the conversation they may direct you to their TER reviews.  The same reviews which they say can not be relied upon.

...is yet another reason "YMMV".