My off and on (three years) ATF invited me to a concert. She then helped me with a project for work and I offered to take her and her best friend in return. I pulled some strings and got three comped front row tickets. She then stood me up on a date that she initiated (not the first time but certainly the last), didn’t have the courtesy to call to cancel or enough respect for me (or herself) to apologize. Now the concert is this weekend. I had basically decided that she was now out of my life forever. Tonight (three weeks later) I get a message out of the blue offering to buy the tickets. But to get them I physically have to go to the arena on the night of the concert. Should I ignore her or explain? Part of me just wants to cancel them and get on with my life. A shrinking daily part of me feels an obligation to honor my commitment despite the way she acted. Part of me wants to find two hot ladies and take them. What would you do?

Take two other hot ladies. Actually, the only reason I can think of is she was either in a horrible, disfiguring accident which left her completely paralyzed from the neck down or she just is not professional or courteous. Find another lady, baby!

Hugs,
Ciara

Unless she has a REALLY entertaining reason for doing what she did, and I'm talking like verified aliens kidnapping her poodle, I say drop her.

I doubt that she'll show MORE respect for you later on than she has so far.

I think you listen to the alien / poodle story if she has one.  If not, she played her cards and you have 3 tickets to the concert to either sell or use.

There are a lot of fish in the sea; go fishing!

easy decision if I were you, I'm sure you can find other ladies to go with you.

Yeah, and I'm surprised to hear myself say so, too, cuz I'm the nice one who 'gives the benefit of the doubt' and cuts people slack all the time but I'm so sick of this abominable lack of consideration nonsense that I think they just need to get a taste of someone's intolerance of it!

Have a great time!

You don't need to put up with that kind of crap.  She showed how much your "friendship" meant when she stood you up.  Time to go man, time to go.  She'll never respect you if you get her the tickets.  You probably know this, but don't forget, the majority of these women don't live in the normal real world, not all, but most.  Most live in the underworld where being on time and honoring agreements and having some inegrity are signs of weakness and/or don't really matter.  Doesn't mean that all those in the real world are pristine and rightous.   Laws of nature are different in the underworld.  If I'm late, so what.  If I don't show, so what.  You're going to be nice to me, you're a chump and how much money can I take from you.

I would definitely move on and either find 2 other people that would be grateful for you taking them or sell the darn things. You don't need to go out of your way and inconvenience yourself for a lady that obviously doesn't have respect for you.

I know a lot of guys think that ladies in this business are flaky - and yes I agree that there are a lot of them out there - but there's also many wonderful, respectful ladies (like myself) that honestly value a persons time and would never stand you up without at least calling to explain that they were kidnapped at gunpoint and just couldn't get to the cell phone to inform you

I don't care who you are or what line of business you're in...people are people and they deserve the same respect that you would want others to treat you with.

... to hell with her. Tell her no tickets and tell her why. This is no way for adults to be treated.

And none of them result with her seeing the show through your efforts.  1. Find 2 hot ladies who you know would appreciate the show and the gesture and take them.  2. Take 2 non-hobby friends who would appreciate the show (if they're friends, you KNOW they'll appreciate the gesture) and enjoy an evening out with them.  3. (My favorite choice) Donate the tickets to a charity organization.  It's amazing how much good it does your heart and soul when helping others who are not as fortunate.  It makes the world a better place.  Call the former ATF and inform her that you've already donated the tickets to charity.  Then tell her to lose your phone number.  Bottom line -- this woman doesn't deserve another moment of your attention.  If she wants to see the concert, she can always seek the assistance of scalpers.

The root cause of your confusion is your thinking through the little head and not the big head. Get rid of this bimbo, and find a new ATF. It can be difficult and long project, but just think how much you will enjoy the search.

SLAP! SLAP!  WAKE UP,,,,,get on with your life.....

I would tell you to scalp the tickets to her, but given you luck recently you might be arrested for scalping. LOL....

And, tell her how you feel.

Then, get the cash and don't see her again~

Shaye

Well...You don't deserve the baggage that comes with being let down. Sorry for your loss.
I would seek a friend or two (non provider) and invite them.
If no friends are available go by yourself. Get the other two tickets and just give them away. You will get pleasure out of seeing the smile on your new friends faces.
Best of luck.

On a separate note...Lil debbie of Arizona is HOT!!HeeHaw!!I would also look into flying her out to the concert. ASAP..that woman will put a smile on any mans face!

How did she get to be you ATF anyway?  You said she did this before as well .... dump her.

You have lived with her behavior for the last three years.  I would ask myself what this lady brings to the table that no one else does.  If she has broken two dates in three years that is one thing but if she persitently does this, shy do you allow it.  Does she discount her services or provide freebies to make for it.  Does she always help you out with work at the office?
 If I were not getting major benefits to make up for her extremely bad behavior, then I would let her go but only you know what if any positive rewards you get from her.

You certainly don't owe her the concert tickets.  She helped you on her own free will, not with the expectation of the tickets so there is no reason to feel you are honor bound to give them to her.

You could certainly help her by showing that her actions have consequences, in this case she doesn't get to go to the concert with tickets you provided.  A lot of people don't seem to get that lesson until it is really too late.

So bottom line, dump her unless there is something you are not sharing here.

Thanks to all. I decided to just cancel the tickets since they didn't cost me anything and hopefully use the favor in the future. In the meantime no further contact and I am happy with that.

For those who wondered why I put up with her, I can only say that for the longest time the good feelings outweighed the bad. It just got to the point that the emotional roller coaster took its toll.

I will always love her for the good times and I now know that I will find another who I can love as much, if not more.

Can you believe a TER post where all agreed, both hobbist and providers.

This gal is not an AFT but a BTFM "bitch that fucked me" many of us have been there so don't feel bad just dump her.