Sometimes people who are desperate enough for money will forego respect from others if they feel they have to in order to get the  money they need so badly.  But most high-end providers are not in this situation, and so they can also focus on something that is actually even more basic - respect.

Although I don't doubt for a minute that many providers enjoy the pure sensual pleasure of good sex, I have a strong sense that when they emphasize that they want to be pleasured by the man, they are also looking for the implied respect that comes from feeling that their sexual needs are important too, and along with this the sense that they are important and respected as people. Being respected can be a very sexy experience.

Some providers "give up" on the idea of trying to be truly respected by clients - perhaps they have been burned too many times and just don't want to put the emotional energy into it.  So they build a defensive shield to protect themselves, and tell themselves "I really don't care whether a given client respects me or not".  This of course is connected to a lack of respect for the client, and perhaps even some hostility.  But it comes from having been burned in the past, and it's hard to fault them for wanting to avoid more pain.

On the topic of respect:  As has been said many times, you cannot respect others until you first respect yourself.  

It has little to do with a person being a man, woman, provider or client. We all want and deserve respect, no matter the situation. Some of us demand respect, but that certainly doesn't imply that the less demanding people don't want respect. I demand to be respected in all aspects of my life. Anyone who allows themselves to be disrespected in any situation is selling themselves short.

in a situation in which the client can show disrespect in a particularly unpleasant way.

It's true that if you dont respect yourself you can't respect others. But the providers who put on a shield or wall of defense are often, I think, playing the game of "I'll just disrespect you before you disrespect me" kind of thing. Yes, it's a defense mechanism and clients also do the same, out of hostility for the provider. Perhaps they think to themselves that she represents all the GFs in his life that were cruel to him or something.

than at their former GFs, although they may not even recognize this themselves.  Their choice of GFs was a reflection of their relationship with their mother.

The providers may also have father issues that led to bad BF choices.

Maybe part of learning to respect yourself so that you can respect others involves working through the parent issues.

I don't want, or need, anyone elses respect.  I do indeed, not only want and need it but DEMAND that people treat me courteously or I cut off all contact. I think often, respect and courtesy are mistaken for each other. I really believe that respect is earned, and given the opportunity, I WILL earn it... I most certainly do not need it handed to me on a silver platter.

FWIW, I feel the same way about ALL aspects of my life, not just this one.

In THIS aspect of my life I absolutely want to be treated with the common courtesy due any human being.

Sincerely,
Nicole