No, this is not about quitting TER, it's about quitting the hobby.  Recent events have led me to re-evaluate myself and some aspects of my life.  I have come to the conclusion that I really want to quit this hobby for a number of very important reasons.  I have made the decision to quit and I am determined to do it, but it's going to be difficult and I'm sure there are a lot of you out there who understand why.

I would like to get a support group going for people like me who have quit or are thinking about quitting.  The format and forum are yet to be determined, but it will not be a public forum like TER.  Most likely it'll be through e-mail and possible some other medium.  I'm not interested in hearing from current providers trying to change my mind, it's not going to happen.  Former providers are welcome as I think they can contribute something of value in trying to understand why this is so difficult.

I'm very serious about this, and I want serious responses only.  No personal information will be asked for, only demographic (age, etc.)  If you would like to venture on this journey with me, please e-mail me and we can get started.

My e-mail is [email protected].  I wanted something easy to remember.

Dobson,

Despite the fact that you have treated me cruelly on the board, I do make an effort to reach out to people even those that present me with negative emotion. I, for one, am not perfect and am an evolving being, thus I continually strive to be positive toward others and to hope that they will do the same toward me.

I took a few weeks off from the board with the intention of not returning and earnestly re-evaluated what I do for a living and the discussion board scene in general.  My conclusion was pretty simple: that everyone has a right to his or her opinion but that we should all do our best to make other feel good.  That is what this hobby is about, isn't it? If a guy writes: "Heather, you are a Ford, not a Mercedes. You aren't a $400 an hour escort." should I take that personally?  Well, he obviously doesn't care about my feelings so maybe I shouldn't sweat it. But I think it goes without saying that I would never say that publicly to someone. If I were him, I'd hold my tongue or say something to the effect of "Heather just wasn't my type."

Let's say someone set me up on a blinddate with a guy who I wasn't attracted to and the date was boring and I couldn't wait to get home...and the next week, he asked me out again.  I would be straightup and tell him that the attraction wasn't there as far as romance goes...that is was a friendship connection (if it was) and I'd just leave it at that.  I would never say "You are ugly and too skinny and didn't hold the door for me and not worth the time of day. You barely rank Kia buster."  So, while that particular comment hurt me, though you didn't make it Dobson, I've long since recovered and I'm more than content being a Ford. I wouldn't buy a label just for a label. I'm not flashy. I'm probably more likely a Subaru Outback.

This hobby, the emotional and sensual benefits will be hard for me to give up when I decide to commit and marry again one day. The great conversation, the hot email, the humorous phone chat, the hand holding and sharing of our lives combined with all eros fills our little holes where they exist. And those that are "breaking out" of the Castle of Hobbying will have to find a new way to fill up the holes that exist within so to speak. It's hard say goodbye to friends but just because you aren't a client, doesn't mean you can't read the boards, reflect and keep in touch with your favorite providers via phone or email.

A lot of guys go in and out of this hobby for a variety of reasons as do women.  It's not just biz for the ladies either. I jacked off 3x today while watching
JennaVision and concluded thinking, I bet nobody would guess that I'm home
alone playing with myself.  Damn.  Pitiful.  But it was still good.

I hope everything goes well for you and I, for one, support your efforts to do what
you feel is best for you.

With much luv,

A KinderGentler Barron

While some still await the return of Christ, they will have to settle for this!  Hehe.

Dobson - I have a feeling that it's going to be difficult for you to quit.  I don't know if I could, but I am going to take a break from the hobby for a while.  I'm a little burned out and need to back off for a month or two.  Good luck and I'm glad you will still be posting on the boards.  Sedagive.

...I'd be saying "good riddance" to someone who not only spoke poorly of you, but went out of his way to do so.  Dobson could be counted on to make a negative remark to every post you made, on every board.  But you have more class than that, welcome back.

Sorry, but I seem to be missing something here. I am unable to locate any of Dobsons reviews. Fine if you want to quit, but it would appear that TER will not be missing very much.

Cut the lad some slack, eh? HB is back and he's leaving, great trade I'd say!!!!

        Maeve

-- Modified on 6/14/2001 10:41:03 PM

-- Modified on 6/14/2001 10:41:48 PM

for a while.  There was a lot of anger and a lot of pain (particularly on the LA Board) and a number of people just left in disgust.  If you compare the Boards to a river, we seem to be out of the rapids and sailing in calm water at the moment.  What's around the next bend I don't know, but I'm glad we have GND at the oars (so to speak) to get us through.

I was very glad to see G2 come back and I think you have a place here too.  Although I can only speak for myself, I would like to say welcome back.

I noticed that TER has pulled your profile and reviews.  They are no longer available.  Was this at your request?

Does anybody really know how? I'd join you in quitting if you show me the path. I've tried lots of times. I don't know about you guys, but whether its SW, i-escorts, exec. entertainers, agencies, or random meeting at social gatherings, things are just too easy. Self-control is very difficult.

Here's my pattern:
I was with my SO. I cheated on her with another.
I divorced. Hung around with the other for awhile.
I then went to see a provider. Became steady with the provider.
Left the other. Became steady with the provider, while still paying. Then I took off seeing other providers. Had girlfriends on and off. But still seeing providers.
Never been caught, no one ever suspected.

I want to be monogamous. Anybody know how? I've got a real problem.

I don't know if he submits reviews or not, but the fact that he doesn't have reviews listed under "Dobson" doesn't mean he doesn't contribute reviews.

My impression, for what it's worth, is that he has written his posts with sincerity, whether or not one agrees with him.  I respect Dobson's determination to do what he feels is the right thing for him, and I wish him well.

I don't think the monogamy thing is so much a sexual issue as a respect issue. I think that maybe monogamy would be a piece of cake for you if you met a really hot girl who fucks your brains out (thus leaving you sore and with absolutely no residual needs) and is so much fun to be with that well, everything else on the market pales.  It might take a long time to find such a woman.  But trust me.  She's out there.  Til then...bon appetitty.

luv,

HB

you might wanna try the enclosed link. Sex is just one of the addictions they discuss. I don't know if it's what you're looking for, but it may be a starting point. I've tried to quit a several times, but the escitement just keeps me coming back.  Best of luck. RC

Flyright,

I understand how difficult it is.  I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I don't pretend to know all the answers.  I've come to the conclusion that it's not just about sex, as much as some people, and maybe yourself, would like to believe.

No shit Zorro......

Hey Dobson, maybe your right, it has to be more than sex. Good luck on your life. Forgive my rude comment the other day? I still want Heather!!!


       Maeve

-- Modified on 6/15/2001 9:14:02 PM

-- Modified on 6/15/2001 9:14:32 PM

http://prostitutionresearch.com

But I have this feeling that it was written by a feminist. It has that male preying on female slant which I think is ludicrous Sedulous (sorry couldn't resist the rhyme).

It had me convinced.  Then, I went out for a late night breakfast, went back to da "office" and all that stuff was just a bunch of words on internet paper.

Today in society, we see some much attribution...I am this way because my parents...I am doing this for a living because...I am distrustful of men/women because my last girlfriend/boyfriend ...blah, blah, blah. Sites like the one above indicate that women were either abused as children or as adults or are being forced by someone else. They indicate that the men are seeking power or self gratification.  Everything is so black and white.  So let's say the man was seeking empowerment (you guys really aught to read some of the rightwing stuff on this site) and let's say the women feels empowered by pleasing, being pleased, and taking the money. Hello?  What's the problem with that economic microcosm? Isn't that the heart of any service industry, a consumer with needs to be met and a seller with a veritable product? Sorry to get so clinical, but it's late and I'm wondering if there is a way out of this hobby. Giving up jogging would be difficult if it brought you pleasure. Giving up chocolate candy as a sub group of sugar is difficult but it can be done. But giving up sugar, complex and simple, real tough. Finding a substitute can help. Drinking more tea helped me cut down on coffee but now I'm addicted to tea. Once you determine the need this hobby fills for you, you might be able to find an alternative. For example, if the "need" is the presence of Asian women, just go get a pedicure once a month since most of the nail shops are run by Asians...and you'll look oh so nice and that will run you less than 15 bucks. Now if the need is to be inside a tight, wet place, buy one of those kid party baloons, spray it with water, deflait it and well, hell, that should run you...humm, the price of a 2 hour session. DAMN

I guess with the product out that was produced in anticipation for the strike, Heather has hired a writer or bought a book on quips and quotes.
As I have said before, this is a habit and she would be back after a while. Heather, you naughty girl, you..just could not stay away from the inmates in the asylum?
We are happy to see you again, with your witty disposion, rye sense of humor, and for you there is no equal, except for PT Barnum. (all in jest my lovely, all in jest...LOL)

Why Does it sound like JP is writing for HB now? Say it ain't so???

         Maeve, no thing for Asians but those reheads,mmmmmmmmm

If you keep writing like that Heather Dear I'll have to upgrade you to a Lincoln.

Heather,

I doubt this would be much help to me.  I'm not a prostitute.

That's wry sense of humor not rye sense of humor.
Unless she has been drinking too much Rye, then of course,
it could be a Rye sense of humor.
In my drinking days, my jokes were much worse than now, and I always like HB's jokes so I would presume that we are talking
about her "wry" sense of humor.

ok enough of that... the warden is coming...

LM

none of my biz. these energetics just make me sad.

ff




-- Modified on 6/16/2001 7:54:29 PM

JP writing for Heather?  I dont think so, Maeve. If so, I must have a talk with JP as I would wish him to be my agent.

But I do think that Heather in and of herself can say what she has to.

Oooh, and she is a strawberry blonde to boot!!!!

respectfully
ff

I'm a Heather Fan. JP too come to think,

         Maeve

You know her new pics show her as more red than strawberry blond,Heather??? I may be way off( on the colour),but I do like the new cut and sassy colour!

             Maeve

Might I simply express something that a MAN taught me?

A joke might just not be a joke.


On the other hand, my mom  was a redhead, maybe I should go back to my roots.  heheh.

oxo

ff



-- Modified on 6/17/2001 12:38:09 AM

I don't understand the motivations here either, but my sympathy for the players in this little melodrama is rapdily being replaced with a loss of respect for those that continue in this vein.

My Mom is a redhead til this day, and what does that say about me????

              Maeve

I wasn't trying to be rude, simply point out that this is a site that seems to cater to women who are trying to escape prostitution.  That's not my situation.

Maeve,

The simple fact however is my writing is not as good as HBxxx’s writing. She is a much better writer than I.   Also, given her recent post HBxxx seems to be better than ever and should I be writing for her there would be a noticeable decline in her quality.  Plus given my lackluster editing or in many cases the absences of editing, anyone would have a clear marker for detecting a change in authorship.

However, you do note that we are not seen in the same room, and since a mediocre writer, like myself, can never write above my ability but a good writer, such as HBxx or G2 or FFxx or NOSC or Gandalf or --I can continue as the list better writers then I on this board is quite long so..., but as I was saying a better writer can write below themselves.  Maybe the fact is that HBxxx writes for JP?  Hmmm?

So Maeve, as much as I would like to take the compliment of writing for HBxxx I fear I cannot in good conscious accept it.

LOL



--JP


-- Modified on 6/18/2001 8:53:12 AM

I don't know what you said man, but it sounds great!! Writing is a gift.

           Maeve

LOL.

Maeve, I don't have the "gift" for being able to write for HBxxx.  However it is a funny thought...

Also I am not much on comedy either I tend to leave that to folks like lustman et al...




--JP

oops i'm i trouble now, lol.

what's this comedy you are talking about?

LM

--

-- Modified on 6/18/2001 11:03:19 AM