i've only just started recently in the hobby, having only had two dates thus far.  they were truly wonderful dates indeed, and the ladies both made me feel very comfortable and welcome.  but after doing some reading of the boards here and elsewhere, as well as having talked with the ladies i've met in this business, i'm starting to wonder if maybe i'm not quite good enough.  let me explain....
i'm in my mid-twenties, single, not having had a relationship (serious or otherwise) in ages, slaving away at a job that doesn't pay much, i'm a definite introvert, i'm not good looking, nor am i a great lover by any stretch of the imagination.  from what i understand, most clients seem to be rather well-off financially, are quite worldly and knowledgeable, and more mature (not "old", just not a kid like me).  i'm sure that the vast majority of ladies would prefer someone like that as opposed to someone like myself for companionship.  i wonder if perhaps it'd be a disappointment for a lady to open the door and be greeted by someone like me when the last date they had was someone much more important.
i try to be the best companion i can be during the time i spend with the ladies i am fortunate enough to meet.  for the hours, however few or however many, we have together, i try to convey to them my deepest appreciation for taking the time to be with me.
but then, thinking about it, she could have spent the time with someone much more desireable, and i wonder if anyone else sees it that way too.  to put in an analogy, if you were given the choice of buying a benz or a kia for the same amount of money, wouldn't you rather have the benz?  (no offense, kia owners)  don't get me wrong, i love this new "club" that i've joined, but i just feel i don't have as much to offer as everyone else does.
i know i'm probably just some silly kid who is trying to "run with the big boys" and i'm totally out of my league here.  just a boy who can't merit female companionship elsewhere.
thank you to anyone who's heard me out, and to anyone who may understand.  i hope everyone's had a great weekend with whomever they've had the good fortune to spend it.  mine was a wonderful gift from an angel in the big apple.

it's easiest to start at the cynical end of the facts and get warmer.

you're paying for sex, and sex plus personality is what you get. since you're getting the sex, just enjoy it. think adam sandler in the millionaire's mansion, just let it hang out.

since you're someplace you think you might not belong, explore. explore her body. explore what different touches do for her. ask her what she likes, or try whatever comes into your head. go on ... she wants to have a stress free day, what's less stressful than *play*?

personality is the creative zone. is she having fun -- well, are *you* having fun? is she relaxed -- well, are *you* relaxed? are you doing what she wants -- well, does she know what *you* want? be yourself and use your gut. when you yourself click with her herself, ahmygod, it's fantastic!

like the big boys? wait, you mean the guys who pay escorts to sit around and watch them snort coke? the guys who dicker them about time, act like cold fish, are cheating their wives and employers, are dull and imperious, and just come for the fake orgasm? maybe not ... maybe a genuine boy toy, trembling with passion and open to the moment, will just make her day.

-- Modified on 8/11/2002 9:02:14 PM

Just like MBZ needs a C-class to attract new and young buyers, the ladies need all sorts of clients to fill their schedules (as long as they are well mannered).

Remember this is mainly a business transaction so don’t think that you are not as good as others.  A good provider will treat you the same as her wealthier clients just as Cartier and Gucci will be happy to have you as a customer.

Try to project an image of confidence and treat this as a business.  Check previous messages from MyLifeAsMe on this board.  He has some very good insight about self-improvement.

You are young and single, going ahead and have fun.  Most of us participate in this hobby because it is a sure thing.  Don’t worry and just the ladies give you good time

Be sure to read the reviews and post your own.  (More reviews are needed.)

Dude, the main atribute you need to have is the right amount of money.  If it were the "free love" world some of your concerns might be true and being younger you might have the upper hand over us old guys.  But the biz being what it is, if you can afford it you meet the requirements.  Don't think too much and enjoy the ride.

and I advise three things.

1) Stop thinking so much.
2) Be respectful to the ladies. (My gut is you already have this down.)
3) Have the money to consummate the transaction.

If you have these, you certainly have the right to play.

For the record, I ain't rich.  I just choose to put money into the hobby that maybe I "should" put elsewhere; it's a subjective call.

-Hoot.

a client who can pay their fee, comes over having just taken a shower, or be willing to take one, is polite, preferably not drunk, and if you really want to make the top 10%, be a decent partner.

Not talking about quality of sex, or worldliness, just be decent to them and pleasant so they arent mentally counting the minutes until your shadow no longer darkens their home.

No need to crawl and thank them for seeing you. That isnt going to get you anywhere. You qualified when you paid.

And I say thank you~  Even though it is a business transaction, sometimes even for the provider it is a nice escape from the real life and be treated as a human being.  I have 3/4ths of the time met with some mighty fine human beings who have good hearts and good intentions and for those of you who see us also as humans and treat us with such respect, I say thank you for making my day~

..hugz..

Nadine

I know how you feel, I myself feel the same way, I am getting a little better at it with each time, but the same thoughts still occur. But like many of the other responses said, you are able to pay the fee, so you will get the service, and if the provider wants a repeat client (and of course you treat her right) than she will do her best to make you happy. The thoughts may not go away, but dont let them get in the way when you are in the session, try to put them in the back of your mind, and just enjoy the moment.

I don't feel that I would rather see older or younger, I enjoy variety in all ages. The ones that feel that they are the "big boys"  are usually the ones that turn out to be the biggest jerks.  

I would tell you to be nice to the lady, have a clean shaven face, sweet fresh breath, clean smelling underarms and other areas, trim your nails, be gentle, and have the full amount of the donation in a envelope and in plain view.  

Some people think that money is everything, but if you have money and your hygiene is bad, or your attitude is bad then most girls will not wish to be in your company.

Just my 2 cents...

Who says you are not good enough and who says you are not good looking?  From what I have read in your post you sound like someone who would be wonderful to be around.  You sound; charming, sweet, sensitive and respectful.  What lady would not want to spend time with you?

From the way you sound you have the right idea and instead of you reading other peoples post and getting ideas from them, they should read yours and pick up clues from you.

From some of the posts that I have read on this board and some of the others, men at times think they can treat us anyway they like because they pay for our time.  You seem to know better and appreciate the time you have with us and show it.

I would love to spend time with you, if you are ever in las vegas and would like to get together, please let me know.

Daisey
xoxo

Kindness, courtesy, respect, cleanliness, a friendly demeanor, and the ability to pay for the companionship you seek. For myself, I'll add *enthusiasm!*

"i know i'm probably just some silly kid who is trying to "run with the big boys" and i'm totally out of my league here.  just a boy who can't merit female companionship elsewhere."

This is just you being silly. I have no idea why you are so insecure, but honey, dare I say, KWIT IT. Really, you're just being silly. I can tell you that my clients have ranged in age from 20 years old to 70 years old and *age* is really not the factor that has anything whatsoever to do with whether or not I want to see a gentleman twice.  (Or more   Jerks come in every shape, size, and yes... AGE.  Being a jerk is something that does not discriminate based on race, religion, age, weight, penis size, amount of hair on your head, amount of hair on your back (hehe!), or anything else... that comes from *inside!*

Sooooo, just be a nice guy and quit worrying about your age!

Hugs*
Nicole

Kurenai,
 As everyone pointed out, it is all in the attitude. Being in LA, I am not some hollywood hotshot or business tycoon. (sorry ladies, if you thought I was. Haha) The ladies aren't expecting you to do anymore than being able to provide the donation requested and be a clean respectful companion for an hour, or however long you decide to see them for.
 Trust me, if you treat them right, there will be those who will enjoy you as a regular clients. The ones I see regularly know I won't take them out on a dinner/extended dates. It is not in my budget, but they want me to be a regular for a reason. The car analogy is NOT a good one. If you own a store, say Target, you don't care if a movie star comes in and buy a bike from the store for his son; or if it is a teenage boy who comes in and buys his first bike! They are both paying for the same thing.
 Good luck!

Really?

I am curious...How many other providers object to a bearded face?

I tend to go both ways...clean (save for the mustache...it has been there since 9th grade, and it ain't EVER comin' off...lol) and bearded, just depending on whim. The SigO prefers the beard, I prefer to be clean, so it goes back and forth.

But I never thought minxs (nah...it doesn't work for me) had a preference. I suppose I should have been more considerate, but than again, I'd be lying if I said I was ever going to let it influence my decision on way or another (since we will be spending but an hour or two together, and a beard takes a week to grow...sorry ladies...).

Still, I am curious. Chime in, please...

i don't know about the beard/no beard thing (i wear a short trimmed moustache/chin beard), but every woman i've ever been with has really really disliked *stubble* -- any growth a week old or less.

five minutes of dfk, or two minutes of daty or nosing around their nipples, and they are rubbed raw. ouch!

1) Most men are fairly incompetent lovers, even though most men think they are pretty good. That is because most men think having a penis makes you an expert at sex. I'm no expert, but the fact that I even take the time to try to please my partner, and that I have read a book or three on the subject aparently makes me a more competent lover than most, or so I have been told by my previous partners. The fact that you care about it enough to care puts you in an EXCELLENT position to become a very good lover. Between taking time to study your craft (you don't have to be obsessed, just buy a book or three) and ASKING your partner what pleases her, you will be better than the vast majority of guys, trust me...

2) The majority of women, just like the majority of men, prefer their lovers to be old enough to know what they are doing, but young enough to get it done. Numerous times I have had providers tell me how pleased they were when I opened the door and they discovered Mr. MLAM was a guy in his 30's, instead of a man of 50 something years (a presumption frequently made based on my address, and the fact that I am seeing a provider at all). That isn't to say all guys in their 50's are lame (see point number one...and remember they have had lots of time to practice...lol). But there is something to the notion of being too old to give a damn...which many men are. They've been doing what they do since they've been doing it, and nobody ever told them that they didn't know what the hell they were doing, so they do it some more. You, on the other hand, have both youth and innocence (versus ignorance) on your side...a desire to be better combined with an ability to carry it out gives you quite an edge.

3) Having said both 1) & 2), it IS an undenible fact that women...like men, prefer their lovers to be in at least ok shape. Women aren't as visual as men...it isn't so much about they eye candy for them, as it is just our genetic drive. We naturally seek out for mating those persons who appear to be most healthy, thus yielding health offspring (hopefully). When you add 2) to the equation (the better shape you are in, the better equpped you are to carry out your duties) there is soemthing to be said for investing in yourself a little bit. You will feel A LOT better about yourself, and you'll discover that a confident man is a sexy one as well. As a naturally "big boned" nerdy kid who discovered football while still a pup, I can honestly tell you it changed my life...not so much football, but making the decision to try to be fit (on some level) versus just fat. It can change yours as well, and you are at the PERFECT age to make the change.

4) Trust me...TRUST ME...most of these guys aren't "ballers". They get their asses up and go to work everyday, just like you do. They might make a little more cheese because they have been doing it longer, but a TER survey had 60% of memebers volunteering their income as less than 100K per year, and you gotta know that a) some of those guys were lying / bragging and b) Many just decided it was no one's business, which is fine, but you also gotta know that that sample had to contain more guys who thought they were a little light than guys who were over the 100K mark. So...to your concern that most hobbist are imported sport sedan driving, Cole Haan and Ralph Lauren wearing, six figure earning playboys, well, we can't ALL be like that (snicker), but I am sure that so long as you are neat and clean, you lady of choice would be just as glad to see you as she would be to see me. Maybe even more so, because you are probably a lot less arrogant than I am, and as a result an all around nicer guy. The "Target" analogy used by someone else is dead on...it doesn't matter how much money you have...you still coming to buy the same thing, and the price is the same for everyone. What DOES matter is how kind and decent a customer you are...your qualities as a human being. And your paycheck is no measure of that.

So...in summary...as someone else pointed out...my constaint refrain is to work on being the best YOU you can be, and not worry about those things you can't change, including the age and or incomes of other people. Read a book or three about the world...that will make you "worldly". Take a class or two on social interaction...this will make you "shy" versus introverted, and women LIKE shy...read a few more books on being a "great lover" and this will round you into a delightful surprise package of a man...and if you take time to work on the package itself, you will find that soon you will have all the "relationships" (serious or otherwise) that you care for. Trust me on this...I used to be you.

-- Modified on 8/12/2002 4:24:05 PM

with everyone's advice, viewpoints, and kind words, i feel the journey won't be so bad as i may have thought.

i'm really fortunate to have been given this knowledge, which you've all earned over time from experience, and shared with me during my first (ad)ventures into the business.  i've got a ways to go, but with this guidance, i feel a bit more confident that the steps i take will be the right ones.

thank you drollere for "the script"... i guess i wasn't quite prepared for "the hangover" this time eh.  and thank you also to everyone else who reminded me to get back on earth and to remember that this is a business too (GirlCrazy, LapDawg, HootOwl, JohnGalt).  but ahhh... minxness. :9

thank you ashwalker, AsianKid, MyLifeAsMe for letting me know i'm not the only one.  you don't know how helpful that is.  or maybe probably you do.

thank you Nadine, samantha, Daisey, Nicole for giving me the ladies' perspective.  you are the warmth that all men seek in life, and i hope that during my lifetime i'll have the good fortune to meet each of you.

wow this is starting to sound like an awards ceremony.  well in that case i'd like to thank everyone who's read this, however long you may have thought about it or not.  this little community has given me a lot of support and advice which will not go unheeded.  and of course i must thank my special minx (though she frequents "another" board) for giving me this hangover which showed me just how great a group of people i've joined here.

ok people, friends, partners-in-cr!me (j/k).. hope your next encounters just keep getting better.  because of you guys, i know mine will.

-k

ps - drollere, please don't sue me for overusing your word "minx".  remember -- i don't have much money to begin with.

ps2 - Daisey, i never really had any interest in going to vegas.  until now.  i hope to see you there in the spring!  the "send k to vegas fund" is now accepting donations.  anyone?  anyone?

thanks again everyone.

I didnt mean to make it sound like you shouldnt thank your host for the good time. Thank you's are just part of being polite and are always appropriate and friendly.


I was referring more to the tone in his message which implied that he was thaking the provider for seeing him (as if he was otherwise unworthy because of his inexperience and age). I just meant that he didnt have to debase himself (as in a Wayne's World "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!")

Nice photo's btw. You have a pretty face. Lara ain't bad either.

Don't push your luck kid.......