love a pet? impossible!
I am sure this happens to Hobbyists more than providers, so I am only asking this to the SPs. Providers have you ever fallen in love with a client? If so what happened, and was it a good experience or bad.
A provider I used to see a few years ago once told me about falling HARD for one of her clients. She said she was so in love that she quit everything for him and that while he seemed flattered at first, dissed her pretty hard. I mean, he wouldn't pick up her calls once he got it for free and broke her heart by text messaging her that while she's a beautiful girl, he doesn't see just one person, so he was changing her number and hoped she'd stop calling. She was heart broken and ended up going right back into the business 2 months later i heard.
made non the less sordid by its oft retelling.
Why do fools fall in love?
...love makes the world go around...
Because we all cling to the words of the ones we fall for and because we fall harder and faster than we ever would think, people drive right through the nose that is as wide as the proverbial Mack truck and it usually ends badly.
it still hurts to be rejected. As I have posted before, careing for anyone, and not have them have the same emotions back to you, well, it sucks. Sad story that, and one which breaks my heart....
Yes, there are some really nice guys but I have never fallen. I know girl's who have and it never works. The guy ends up hating what she does (or did) even though thats how they met or if he liked it at first. The girl ends up quitting only to return once the relationship is over. The fantasy wears off plus the guy never gives up the hobby and that becomes a problem for her. Neither one can be trusted!! Best not to find love where money is involved.
with your attitude I can't imagine you loving anything but your pets (non thinking beings)
look in the mirror, pal. I don't need to pay for it.
We don't have to pay for it either. Did you ever think that we may see truly warm, friendly, loving, NSA providers for other reasons?
love a pet? impossible!
She doesn't have an attitude she's just telling you how it is for many of the women in this line of work whether they care to admit to it or not. Kathy is probably an ATF for many but because she's a great actress her clients wouldn't know anything different.
Thank you!!! Most of my clients are regulars. Of course they all think that they are my ATF, but we all know better! lol.
we are happy. There are treacherous waters to negotiate but we deal with each as they arise...love is temporal as is everything else...but one day at a time we invent and reinvent our selves and our union, and we ae happy...
Although it would be easier to have moved on when I meet my prince charming, when love is concerned sometimes youve just got to board the train no matter where you are in life. I know you two have what it takes to make it together
I would have to agree with VVH here. Love is not something that is found easily, and I would tend to lean on the side that if you find someone who you truly believe is the perfect person (soul mate?) for you then you need to take the plunge no matter where you are in life or work. Take one day at a time and communicate, communicate, communicate. Most relationships tend to fail because of a lack of communication. Never assume everything is fine, and take the time to show your lover how special he/she is to you. Sometimes the smallest things mean the most.
I know of a few who have.
So far, I have heard nothing but great things.
Times are changing and in the end we are all human. You'll see it more and more. I strongly believe that more than half have fallen in love with a provider and vice versa and it's sad that many keep it a secret.
the "hobby" disabling them from being able to commit... in my case, it is different... not the hobby.... besides... I would not have time to fight the injustices if a provider truly returned my emotion... and then - well, maybe the bad guys would win!
But fall for a provider... first hand knowledge - it do happen!
The question posed - whether providers fall in love with clients - seems to start from the premise that providers are somehow fundamentally different from other people. They're not. They fall in love, they have good and bad times and they make good and bad decisions. Who doesn't? In this sense, the question is like asking whether New Yorkers fall in love or people over six feet tall fall in love.
Generalizations are dangerous. At the risk of that danger, I'll also say:
Providers and hobbyists come from different places when they meet in the bedroom. She's there to make a living in a fair way -- she's going to give him good companionship, a great time, and a happy ending. After that, she goes on to the next thing in her life. The hobbyist arrives wanting something very specific - release - that in itself creates a certain neediness. For many of us, we arrive needing more -- companionship, affection, acceptance, vindication.
In short, the hobbyist is needy; the provider is simply doing a job. There's an innate imbalance in the relationship. The tendency, of course, is that if someone falls in love, it's the hobbyist. The provider isn't seeking a lover when she sees a client.
I've been involved in, or seen, several provider/hobbyist love affairs. Many of them in fact follow the pattern Kathy describes - this is a fling - and it ends, with both sides back in the place they started - and less happy (at least for a while). Some of these relationships have been successful and thrivingm, and led to marriage.
To get to the answer to your question, tho: my observation is that providers do fall in love. Sometimes both hobbyist and provider are delusional; it's a very pretty delusion, indeed. Other times, the provider, understanding full well the relationship between her job and her emotions, chooses to fall in love with the client - and if it's a knowing, deliberate choice, how can you argue with it?
are you entirely sure that some (I AM SAYING SOME HERE FOLKS) providers are not needy also? Some have needs, make those needs known and others have needs, but choose to not make those needs known.... and some? they choose an isolated life. Go figure. As you say in the beginnning of your post..... Providers are Not Fundamentally different from other people.
are needy. They're human.
provides more motivation to please?
Imagine that you are the client seeking a little comfort to ease a bit of loneliness. You happen to meet with a provider that is in the midst of needy times as well whereby a little tenderness is just what the doctor ordered. These two strangers meet and simultaneously they fulfill their own internal needs. It may be only a temporary in-the-moment happenstance and in essence each has used the other. This does happen on occassion and when it does the session is especially sweet.
I haven't fallen in love with my ATF, yet. I have fallen in love with the fantasy and the time I spend with her. Why do you think they call it the GFE "experience"? Experience in GFE being the key word, I don't think hobbyist or providers actually fall in love with each other, but fall in love with the fantasy. I think it should be called a PGE Perfect Girl Experience. When you are with that special provider for an hour or two she tries to be Perfect in every way possible for you and you for her. I will admit that I think my ATF is the best GFE/PGE provider on this planet but is she in love with me or could she fall in love with me? No, she is just a great actress. Does she and I care about each other and have a mutual friendship? yes. There is no way she could be like that all the time. At least none of my girlfriends,ex-wife or I where ever that good all the time!(lol)
VVH, what could you possibly be needy for =). A exceptionally beautiful woman, with a bright mind, great attitude and a great personality - The complete package. Whatever it is, I'd bring it to you in a heartbeat if I could. =)
However to answer your question, I say it depends, on what need the provider has to fulfill. Also, my experience in life (not the hobby) is that needyness doesn't always provide a motivation to please. Rather I think the opposite is true. Needyness can lead to selfishness, as the individual's needs outweigh those of everyone around him/her.
I would have to agree with you on the selfishness, which I believe to be human nature. It takes a beautiful person to recognise this and make the necessary changes before it affects anyone negatively. You seem to be very good at this!
You have certainly earned as well as deserve each and every one of my accolades. It should be me who is thanking you for making my time spent with you as special as it has been. If only every provider were like you, there would be no need for TER, BD, etc...(blasphemy =))
Yes, selfishness is human nature. However, I always try to see the other person's point of view before I say or do anything. It is only curteous as a person and/or a friend. However, I only wish I did not have to experience selfishness first hand for so many years. Maybe that is why I have so much knowledge about the subject. C'est La Vie. Life goes on.
Turkana, I appreciate the comments. My inital post was not to say that providers are fundamentally different. It came from the fact that as the "professional" in a relationship, which tends to be based on very intimate acts, do providers ever fall for their clients. I am curious, as I would assume that hobbyists more often than Providers tend to fall in love with their ATFs, especially if they develop a strong bond and see each other a regular basis (once a month or more) while I am curious if this is true in reverse.
And, I do agree that a hobbyist tends to be needy, as I believe a hobbyists needs are reason one why he began hobbying in the first place. Sometimes the need is a physical one, and sometimes it is more, physical and mental. This however, does not mean that hobbyists or providers for that matter go into the hobby looking for love.