I'm having a session the day after tomorrow, With a provider who is one of the best reviewed in her city that I found anyway. Do you think it's odd for me to worry about if she'll like me or not or If she'll enjoy the session too?  I really want this to go well.  Any tips on how to calm my nerves.

feel good about yourself and is comfortable. Bring a small gift of flowers to break the ice. I am sure she will like you as long as you are honest,polite and smell shower fresh. Smile too! Have fun,Devin38GGTaylor

If you got the green,  she's gonna like ya.  Have two strong drinks before you go.  Always works for me!

Good luck

Unfortuately, if she's as good as she's supposed to be, you'll never know if she dosn't have a good time. I don't think it's odd for you to be concerned about it though. Just try to relax because she is there to make sure you have a good time and if you are obviously tense and jittery during your time together, it will make her job that much more difficult and therefore, less fun. As far as how to calm down, I usually go into a session with zero expectations because I tend to get REALLY nervous with someone new and nervousness can lead to ahem.... unreliability if you know what I mean. So, if I think of it as just meeting somebody new and something else happens too, well that's just gravy. That way, no matter what does or dosn't happen, I've had a pleasant experience. While my partiucular example probably dosn't apply to you, I am sure you can see how something that extreme could foul up a session. However, if I get upset about it and get mad (as I have been told some men do) then all it does is upset your new friend. Now, I don't know about you, but I am less likely to hang out with people that upset me than people who don't. So, by remaining calm and having a sense of humor about my situation, I can at least enjoy my time a little and maybe calm down and salvage the session. If I got upset and scared my new friend, she may not see me again and then I'd have to start over with someone totally new again. Wow, sorry so long a post but I hope this does you some good. Enjoy your session!

...but perhaps you are just getting a bit het up.

My only advice is to remember that it is your party. You are paying for your fun. No need to see it as a trial. It is about your personal pleasure and she is being paid to make you happy, not judge you.

WTF! Who's paying whom for what?  I never worry about whether the provider enjoys the session.  As long as I, the paying party, gets off, that's all that matters.

Seriously, you can't control what someone else thinks of you.  Go with a positive attitude and have a great time.  If it doesn't work out, it wasn't met to be.

The only surefire way to not be anxious is simply not to go.

She is probably highly revered because of her ability to make men comfortable...along with physical features of course. Make sure you are satisfied the night before the session...so you have a longer appointment. She's a woman not a GOD so relax and enjoy. Your paying for it!!!

providers also feel this way with a new client. In fact, we're probably more nervous because we're getting paid to look hot, perform like a 10, wonder if our hair is long enough, if our face is pretty enough, if we have too much perfume or makeup on, if our wrinkles show (for us older providers), if we're looking fat, if we're tanned, if our nails and toenails look okay, if our teeth look white and are clean, if our breath is fresh enough, if he'll hate the fact that we've sprayed our hair with hairspray, blah, blah, blah. Believe me, it's worse for us!  

So, honey, please relax because a confident provider still has her worries, too, but if she's good at what she does, she will put you right at ease. Drink a glass of wine before you meet her. That's always a relaxant. And remember, you're the one paying for her services. You don't need to worry about your looks. Just be well groomed, clean and polite.

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 4/11/2006 12:29:28 PM

-- Modified on 4/11/2006 12:33:40 PM

...coming home....expecting Mrs. L to pop-out from behind every corner with a 9mm and end it all... very stressful.

...but other than providers being concerned as to how they look, they have every reason to be more jittery about seeing a new client (screened or not).  I find that if you show up clean, nicely dressed, teeth and breath fresh and show immediately that you are a gentleman, she will immediately let out a psychological sigh of relief and things will heat up nicely from there.  Remember, she has almost certainly had to deal with some odd clients and has no idea who is behind that door and who she just let into her place.  Your main concern for the first 3 minutes is to simply set her at ease.

I prefer older mature ladies. I feel uncofortable and get anxious with younger providers. I'm very self concious as I'm older & no hardbody. I've found if we meet for a drink or coffee beforehand it makes the session more relaxed, at least I am..

were I a provider - and I am not! lol, I would wish this to be fun for me too.  The best sessions I have had fall into one of two categories.... one where the lady and I hit it off, have the same sense of humor and in general enjoy ourselves....  (that is the one that I respond to in a normal manner - and truly forget that I have paid for the time.)....  The second is an incredibly sexy encounter, that leaves me panting and her somewhat drained as well.... those don't happen too often, but they do happen from time to time.

Like it or not, I do show up clean, showered, tooth freshly brushed, dressed conservatively and what little of the ramaining hair I have is combed.  But, that is not what makes me nervous, it is simply the fact that I am meeting a person...   and like any other meet and greet, business, social, political - whatever, I want the other person to like me.  That feeling is magnified by the fact that we both know that we will share some intimate moments together.  And I like you, have seen a look of relief on the ladies face when she realizes that I am not a weirdo... and actually am a nice guy, boring but harmless.  lol, sometimes so much so that our sessions do not go in quite the directions that either of us planned (wind up talking a lot, or just hugging... etc). I've almost never been disappointed, but I would be truly hurt, if after I leave, the lady were to think, wow, I hope to never see him again....  for whatever reason.

So, I agree with you - and that look comes in the first 3 min!  but it is dealing with those first 3 min that get to me.

I remember the moment in the movie "My Dinner with Andre" where Wallace Shawn confesses that he is nervous about meeting new people.  Andre replies that he should be, after all you are meeting one of the largest, smartest, unpredictable and thus the most dangerous primate on the planet.  I keep that in mind myself.

we provide a service and want to be compensated for our time, whether it's coffee or in the sack. If you mean just meet for a drink before the session at a hotel, then that's great! However, some men don't want that, and that is why there is already an established line between friendship and escorting. However, if we choose to have coffee with friends at some point in time after we've met them, then that's different.

Off the topic a little for future inquiries: We are not a "meet and greet" on eharmony.com.  I know I -- and most providers that I talk to -- don't like to meet someone for coffee first. I don't mean to sound harsh, but when you have about 20 men asking you for coffee a week so they can feel comfortable with you first and then they decide coffee was all they needed, because it fulfilled some intellectual stimulation, then it wastes our time. Quite often, men just want some company, and I stopped doing that a year ago.

Now, if I've previously spent time with someone and he wants to meet for coffee before our appointment, then fine. Or, on those rare occasions when I actually develop a friendship with a client and I have time to go for coffee, then that's fine, too.

Hugs,
Ciara

Modified for stupid spelling errors. Urgh!

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-- Modified on 4/12/2006 10:03:12 AM

-- Modified on 4/12/2006 10:06:33 AM

Meet and Greet - in the context of this hobby.
M&G is a "first meeting," it is not social - it is business, but it is the first time of being with someone AND going BCD.  If there is to be a second time, comfort is essential.  NOT Coffee! lol!  I too, just don't have the time.

Well said, Biz.
I wholeheartedly agree with everything you have said.

No matter how experienced we are here, we, I at least, still have the pre-meet jitters just because I may be meeting someone new.
Even with a lady I know and may be friends with, I still get the nerves just because of the situation and I want both of us to enjoy ourselves.
I am still, after all these years,  basically a shy, introspective guy, who in somewhat unsure of himself.

So, I get nervous.
But after a few minutes, everything is fine.

Just my opinion...
B

and there have been times when I know the lady tried... but I wound up the clock watcher - and jumping to get out of the room...  on other times... I know that I would like to really connect, but it was just not happening for the lady... in those instances - it is also best to cut short.  In both instances... the lady is compensated for her time.... but the loss is still there and, in my mind, that little bit of uncertainty, leads to the jitters.  

I have also thought of this from another perspective... would a provider wish to meet with clients who didn't care...  I think not.

When I first found TER, you were the first friendly voice on my local board.  Having gained a notch or two since then, let me say that being genuine, polite and spit-shined has gone amazingly far for me.  I spent a few hours last evening with a dear friend and ATF.  She has done things on my behalf that I'll be grateful for, for years to come.  She says it's because I'm a good guy.  She is within the 2 highest rated ladies in my city.

Just relax, be yourself (I remember you to be a good guy) and let it happen.  I almost missed seeing my friend because I had the same concerns.  Good luck, it'll be fine...

this is a hobbiest who HAS been around, much as acidom and I have.  Here I thougth I was one of the few who became nervous - only to find out that it may be more common that anyone thought.  Once again, I think I am pretty knowledgable... and am only begining the journey!  and once again, TER proves valuable.  Thanks to both of you.   This does help!

I always have jitters of some degree.  Everything is planned out, candles bought and lit, fresh shower & shave, then the anticipation of the knock on the door.  Sometimes a phone call saying "I'm running late" or "what room # are you in?".  Once the door opens and I or she walks in, then the "will she show?" disappears and it's time to play.

The cloak n Dagger danger stuff could actually get to be a turn on.  Like a spy movie, really.  Keeping your computer secure with high-grade PGP encryption, hidden disks, and disk wipes.  Detecting all that spyware.  Having your secret cell phone, prepaid and encrypted, perhaps one shaped like a shoe.  Looking for the GPS detector in your car.  Looking for signs that your cover has been blown or that your kids are really double-agents.  Making sure you're not followed, or losing the tail by taking a few imaginative turns.  Changing to cars you've strategically parked around town.  Changing into your disguise at a Shell station restroom.  

All you need to fulfill the fantasy is a wife with a Glock-17.  Imagine the close call escape possibilities or the high-speed chase to follow.  It's not recommended you give it to her as a birthday present, though...

Lex, some married guys might need that excitement.   See it as a good thing.

but I actually enjoy the excitement of the first three minutes.

I've known the stress of going to temp jobs for the first time.  That was hard enough.

A first session?  That has to be much worse for jitters.

BTW Biz I think the ladies would rather you be brown than green.

"Is it just me or....
Posted by BizzaroSuperdude , 4/10/2006 3:57:11 PM   [BizzaroSuperdude has 2 reviews]

do the posts tend to wander from the thread of the leading post?  That is someone will post "does anyone like chewing gum?" and the very next post in the thread will be, "why did you pick your name to be joeblow, don't you know that everyone has that name?"  or "what is a light bulb for" and three posts down will be "why are rugs sold in Home Depot?"

just wondering.... that is all.... oh - another bright shiny object.... must have....!"  


Are we starting to wander??  (L0L)

Great post.  I am quite a bit older than some hobbiers and am a strange combination of gregarious and shy.  I go into meeting someone like I am being set up on a blind date and want to make a good impression but fearful I will get a "functional" rejection.  That means the person will be professional and nice but not really listen when I am talking or the like.  Often I will get so involved in talking (once that is past) that I have to remember the primary purpose in being there.
 I think providers have one of the hardest jobs in the world unless/until they have an established set of clients and work under the radar exclusively.  Maybe it is even then.
  I also have occassional problems with getting or maintaining an erection and sometimes I will have the jitters about that.  For me, I dealt with this by becoming the absolute best daty date I could be.  This is something I like and at least half of my pleasure comes from a lady getting to spend some of her time being completely self centered and receiving pleasure from me.
 Good luck and I hope you enjoy yourself.
B.