TER General Board

Language Barrier...Or Is It? - Survey Question 141
HeatherBarronXXX See my TER Reviews 8145 reads
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Now that we got over all that rate stuff, let's move on to much more interesting subjects of conversation.Tonight Survey Question Is:Have you ever been with a lady that didn't speak your language.  How was the experience?  Did you have difficulty communicating? Could you make small talk? Mid-session, did she yell out words you didn't recognize?  Did you go back?  Have you ever been with a non-English speaking lady whose language you DID speak because you studied it and she was blown away?HB

Yes, I've been with (many) ladies who spoke little to no English.  Communication was obviously difficult beyond the basics, but the sessions didn't suffer any.  You can have a good rapport just by having a nice smile and a friendly demeanor.  I cheerfully went back for more later.  And yes, they LOVE it when you try to speak their language.  Asians always thought it was cute, but Latinas (immigrants, not the local cholas) always seemed the most touched by it. -PC

levendi9984 reads

Right on the money PC! Russians feel the same way but the universal language works well too: just bring some flowers or a nice bottle of wine to loosen things up.  You will reap some good rewards.  Regards, levendi

G27711 reads

I was a frequent visitor to South Korea for business (24 times) and their business culture still included an evening spent with the ladies at the hostess bars in Seoul.  Since I was single I had no issues with this custom and found it mostly very enjoyable.  But since the ladies were always very young, rarely spoke English, and customarily spent the entire night at your hotel the situation you refer to was common.  There are a lot of guys that would think this was a fantasy come true and that I'm crazy, but I actually had some unexpected reactions.  First, I didn't realize how important it was for me to make some sort of connection with a woman  as a prelude to sex (even this type of annonymous sex).  This wasn't an hour at an MP, this was 14 hours together without verbal communication other than the typical giggles and tickles.  As a result, for the first time in my life, I felt like I was truly just f*cking someone's body, as opposed to having sex with a real person.Second, even though I knew these girls neeed the money and I was giving them two weeks earnings for just one night's work, I still couldn't help but feel they were being taken advantage of.  That feeling came from the fact that I didn't feel they were entering into the "profession" because they chose to, but rather because they had to, or were coerced into it.  I also knew they would get in big trouble if there was any appearance that the business guest of honor (me) wasn't pleased.  In some ways, this put as much pressure on me to "pretend" as it placed on them.  Without going into details, one night one of the girls thought she didn't please me and she almost got hysterical in my hotel room worried I'd say something to my host and get her fired.Third, I realized when I got home, that the best part of having sex with American women was that  we enjoy sex as equals.   With American women, there's no subtext of passive submission as I felt in Seoul (unless of course if that's your thing).  I never appreciated how much my enjoyment hinged on my partner's enjoyment and involvement until I was with someone who was only going through the motions because she had to (and feared the consequences if she didn't).  Provider sex in the US isn't in this category because you have the element of free will, which is missing in the situation I'm describing.  IMHO you can't have good sex without first having equality.  Maybe meeting a Swedish girl on the beach in Maui would be entirely different, but in the situation I described, not speaking the language diminished the experience considerably.  I think if we had been able to communicate, the other factors would have been much less significant.Regards,G2 --modified by G2 at Fri, May 25, 2001, 00:26:43--modified by G2 at Fri, May 25, 2001, 00:29:10--modified by G2 at Fri, May 25, 2001, 00:34:51

Language is not nearly the barrier that a bad attitude is.

JP10024 reads

--modified by JP at Fri, May 25, 2001, 13:59:31

JP18731 reads

Is this in a paying situation?  I am assuming so and if true then I cannot help you out, as I have not experience there.JP

MartinLuther8210 reads

Ah the Rosetta Stone of the modern hobbyistthe good old American dollar!--modified by lustman at Fri, May 25, 2001, 16:35:18

Hey Lustman,It's parlez vous!Just 4 Yux!

Yes, both.  Communication occurs as a matter of intention, not as a matter of vocabulary.  Therefore, body language can say it all.  In case #1 -we had a wonderful time even though we didn't have much to say.  In the end I learned a little Czech, she learned a little ...  We have been seeing each other for about 11 years.  She has learned English, I have learned to tolerate her whims.  I still can't speak Czech.  She's beautiful and wonderful, and brilliant.In case #2, she was quite surprised when she discovered that I actually spoke the Hellenistic language quite well, and without an accent as is the normal case for people who learn a language later in life.  This case repeats every time I learn another language well enough to communicate basic ideas.

Yes and Yes. Ihave been able to communicate on most occasions that I was with someone that did not speak any language that I do. We managed our communication the good old fashioned way. Facial expressions, hand gestures, eyes contact, and the best of all, touch! Touch really does make the difference and when used with deep eye contact, you may find a deaper connection to that persons soul than had you just used words to communicate your wants, needs, feelings, desires and emotions. In Tantra we use tones, like a chant, to express and control our mind, body, soul and spirit. Merging all in to one long note, sustained as long as possible to relay just what your cumlative soul can express from it's complete experience. As part of controlled breathing in basic Tantra, it really does work.

As for shocking a partner by suddenly speaking their language, that is one of my favorite gags. Especially when they may be carrying on a total conversation with others around you, and talking about you, because you can't possibly speak that language...and it almost hurts to keep it in and not bust a gut laughing at what they may be saying about me....(trust me it can get very funny in context.) Then when alone, and the circus ios gone, to spill out a fuid conversation, gramatically correct, and linguistically precise, as learned in a University versus the local streets. Yes it is quite funny indeed.

Now HBXXX, welcome home! But what is the point here? Am I being like Blonde here or what?
That is just my opinion..and what do I know.....????

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