I often read reviews where the writer believes that the "she came (2X, 3X, etc.) I think..." That seems to make them feel good, I believe.  I certainly like/love it!  

I was wondering:

How many this is important to

How many believe that they can really tell

How many believe that it's an act

Very Importantly: Do the providers believe it's important for a good session?  Do they act it out?  Do they prefer clients who care and are good at it?

not.  But you can tell if she is into you or not.  And that matters more.

-- Modified on 4/29/2004 9:37:33 AM

And that's fine with me.  I'd rather she say to me, "I can't," than have her pretend loud enough to wake the neighborhood cats.  Her admission is honest, which is what's most important to me.  

Sometimes, you CAN tell when she's cumming, and if she's been honest with me, then that obvious O seems much more intimate.

Blue is right...what matters is that you're into each other.  Feminine physiology being what it is, a woman can be totally into the man she's with and not be able to cum.  It doesn'tmake the connection between two people any less special.

Yoda

There always seems to be this underlying assumption that if the lady doesn't really cum, it is because she chose not to.

Did you know that many providers, just like many non-providers, are not able to cum?  How can that be, you ask, when they have chosen to be in the business of selling sex?  Well, believe me, it happens - women who either can't cum or have a really hard time cumming do become providers!

And here they are with these guys who expect them to cum!  Can you really blame them for faking?

I have considered myself pretty fortunate in this area with the civilian women I have known in my lifetime, but it has been rare that it happened early in the relationship with most of them, because it often takes time for the comfort and affection that contribute to a woman experiencing the physical aspect of sex to the highest level.  As such, I NEVER expect it to happen when I see a provider, although I have been lucky enough to see some providers that have either enjoyed our time together enough to really get into it or have been so physically comfortable with themselves that orgasm is easier for them than for many women.

If it does happen, it is something that is just an extra treat for us both.  I don't ever adjust what I bring to the session to try to make it happen...I focus on making the provider feel appreciated, attended to, and recognized for her individual talents that she is sharing with me.  As such, whether she comes or not is usually secondary, something along the lines of what Yoda said...but if it does happen, it is that much more fulfilling for her, because we have already experienced so much.

one in particular, who squirted and flowed more than any one I have ever known. The bed was absolutely soaked. Her face contorted so much, it became hard for me to concentrate on anything else! And, yes, for most of us, the giving and receiving is a large part of the enjoyment, and if she doesn't seem to be enjoying it, it greatly diminishes our pleasure.

These are all very good posts.
In our own minds we guys want to believe that we are so good that any lady we are with will be in ecstacy at our presence.
It just doesn't work that way.
As long as my lady is enjoying the company, everything is ok.

I learned along time ago that we are all responsible for our own orgasms. I can't MAKE her cum, she can't MAKE me cum.

Just my opinion...

B

Notice I said "Most". Their clitoris becomes too sensative to touch after an orgasm. I've had this happen with at least 3 of the ladies that I see. Two of them are very famous on TER so I will not mention their names. You can always see my reviews and see who they are if you don't mind reading thru them all.
One other Asian provider I know use to "O" 2 times EVERY Time. Once during oral and once during vaginal penetration. I could tell from her voice and quivering contractions. Too bad she is no longer in the country.

There's no way I could fake a true orgasm. No reason I'd want or need to.

My body tells the truth...

There are definitely guys that don't care, and I wouldn't try with them.   But if a guy WANTS me to get there, I'll show him exactly how and I WILL.

It's why I serial date!!!  I don't want to depend on the hand or a toy!

Elise [email protected]

ReO YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN TELL IF A PROVIDER REALLY CUMS/NOT?

I'm not sure if I can tell or not.  I've had a few O acts, some easily identifiable as an act when they do it at exactly the time I'm cumming.  I have been with some that I believed were really enjoying themselves with me or either they were VERY good actors.  The O acts I've experienced didn't come off nearly as authentic as just some nice moaning while we're in the midst of things.  I've heard some moans that I believe were real.  A few have told me afterwards that it felt good.  They sounded sincere, and that I can actually believe.  I may not have made them cum, but I don't believe they were lying to me about it feeling good and that contributes more to the total experience for me than a noisy O act.

It is not necessarily important to me that a provider cums although it would be nice.  I just want her to genuinely like what she does and enjoy our time together.  I met one provider who was nice.  She seemed to be into her performance, but afterwards she referred to what she does as an "ugly job" while we were talking.  So, even though I enjoyed being with her, she's not high on the "see again" list, because I know she's not really enjoying what she is doing.

As a provider I try and approach my work as honestly as I can. When I was in my early 20's and doing a lot of sexual experimentation, I definitely faked orgasms often. Always is probably more accurate. I actually thought that I wasn't able to have an orgasm while I was with someone because I so rarely did. Thank God I figured out that I wasn't having orgasms because I wasn't communicating my needs to my partner. My belief is that when you fake orgasms it's less likely that you will ever really get one. It does me and my partner a disservice.
Keeping that in mind, even as a provider I don't fake orgasms. I always just focus on enjoying my time with each client. I would say I actually orgasm with clients an average of 1 out of 3 times. That's pretty darn good.
It's always great to get the big O, but it's not my focus, and more often than not, it's not the client's focus either. I love it when a client cares about my experience, but if we are completely honest, most clients are there for themselves. As a provider, I see what I do as providing a service. I get satisfaction from giving good service and if I can get the benefit of a terrific experience, because I'm giving one...well that's great!
For me, in my work, orgasms are pretty irrelevant though. Besides, I have one every time with my boyfriend so it makes me appreciate him even more! LOL

Re:Sometimes yes, sometimes no/ I agree

Octavia, I love your posts! This one is so right on with me, as well Off subject here: I would love to trade banners with you, so feel free to email me: [email protected]

Mel

Re:Sometimes yes, sometimes no/ I agree

IMHO faking it would be no fun at all, so why would you do it?

Some are such great actresses that one would be real hard pressed to tell. And after all, isn't this what it is all about?

Did I say anything about me faking it????????  If you read Octavia's post, she is saying if she has one, she does, if not, then she doesn't. I agree with her on that, for I don't cum on que here, but either way-I do enjoy what I do, and I always like to make sure that he is having a good time: which is MOST important to me.

I would MUCH rather know she didn't cum, than to have her fake it.  Fake orgasms are insulting IMO.

If I do, great. If I don't, I didn't enjoy the time any less and for me it's not about whether I did or didn't but feeling pressured to is just going to make it more difficult.

ReO YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN TELL IF A PROVIDER REALLY CUMS/NOT?

Did you ever see the movie "Klute" with Donald Sutherland and Jane Fonda? As he's laying on top of her getting his rocks off she's moaning but pulls her arm up behind his back to see what time it is.  That is what some if not most providers do.  They'll moan to make it seem as though they are enjoying it but keep an etye on the clock and hope the guy cums quickly by her moaning

Yes, but it's pretty easy for a provider to tell you she is too sensitive to touch, thereby making you think she came whether she did or not.

There are signs when a woman comes, but all of them can be faked by a woman who is knowledgeable and a relatively good actress.

If her chest flushes bright red and there were other indications, then she really did cum.

Chest flushing is the one indicator that can't be faked.

Which is not to say that all women who cum always have a flushed chest.

Got your second PM, but can't repond because you have your ignore on!

Well back in the days that I did fake, often it was out of frustration because I wasn't getting there. Other times it was because I was tired and wanted to get some sleep and I didn't want to hurt his ego! lol But as I said, I don't fake anymore. If I'm tired I say, "ok, that's enough...I wanna get some shut eye. Let's pick this up in the morning!" Octavia.

It is too easy to fake.

But, when I am DATYing, I know.

You just need to know the physical signs that can't be faked.

ReO YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN TELL IF A PROVIDER REALLY CUMS/NOT?

Well with my wife there is no mistaking it...and no faking it.  A lot of the providers, I'll be a majority are fake, bu since women are so different from each other, untill you really got to know her you would never know for sure.

I've never had any flushing of my chest as another poster mentioned, but I always get wetter.

I can achieve the big O probably 80-90%+ of the time with clients (99% with a boyfriend unless I'm tired). I try to focus on enjoying the moment and I shift my body to line up so my clit or G-spot are stimulated maximally.

If a guy seems very anxious to get me there, but I can't, I will usually fake it, for the sake of politeness. I can fake everything perfectly except I will not get wet.



-- Modified on 4/30/2004 6:05:20 PM

Why does this matter more?  

As for the original question, I have to say I honestly can't even though I would like to think I can or more accurately I would like to think each O that I thought was "real" actually was.  

However, it's not a big deal to me anymore. It used to be a HUGE deal to me but now if it happens great if not, that's fine too.  It's all about the overall experience.  

Peace...