Is there a Hobbyist that is not a Great Lover?  Ive read a 100 reviews in the last  month. How come none of us have trouble getting hard, or cumming too soon.  We all seem to have instant wood, the minute she walks in the door, and then can pound away for a least 20 minutes or more.   Myself, because of nervousness, It takes some work to get me hard.  Usually about 5 minutes of BBBJ.  Fortunatley, I have average stamina, and can go for a second cup.  Is there anyone else out there that is not a perfect lover.  Some honesty would be refreshing.  Lets here about our troubles as well as our conquests!

...when guys write reviews they focus on how the lady performs. So excess details on how Mr Floppy came to town probably are not relayed. I often read reviews where the guy says that despite the ladies efforts he could not do number two.

The bit I don't like is where they say "she obviously came or else she is a good actress". How very distasteful, lol.

-- Modified on 5/10/2006 10:25:57 AM

A guy can still be an excellent lover even if he doesn't have a permanent hard-on and endless stamina.  In fact, if he thinks an erection and the ability to go for a while is all it takes to make him a hot-shot then he's probably rubbish in bed!

Many men take a while to get hard, it's very common and not worth worrying a great deal about.  I know what you are saying about reviews Wanderer but let me assure you, you are far from alone  

A good lover takes time to enjoy their partner and to give them pleasure.  Kissing, for example, is very sexy and doesn't need a erection to be a very enjoyable experience for both parties.

...chicks have told me that for years.

I have a bad habit of looking at the clock before and after sex.  With the SO, we often have a mad session with multiples all over and then discover it took less than 10 minutes.  The Timeframe is elastic.

I have had a 3-4 hour session where I remained hard for the entire thing and did about 30 positions.  You all read about it.

Once.

The resto f the time, I like my massages to go long, cuz I usually pop in about 3 seconds.

I am probably a terrible lover on the overall scale-

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I'm speaking for several out there. Reality is that there are many men that cannot keep it up. Be it age, be it nervousness, be it trying too hard, whatever. I think the problem is that they don't want to get off right away, so they hold out. Unfortunately, some will lose their erection because their friend becomes desensitized after so much blowing. They worry too much about pleasing us -- which is nice -- but please fellows, it's more work for us if you keep telling us how this "hardly ever happens to you." It places a guilt trip on us. Don't get me wrong, I take my time and love what I do, but some men are "too" worried about getting us off, instead of just "enjoying the act itself." I think it affects the little head when they use their big head too much. Most of us think it's a nice gesture that a gentleman wants to get us off, but with "some" (I repeat: "some") it affects how they perform in bed.

When both of us can enjoy each other's company that's great, but please remember this is a business for us. We're not your true girlfriends. Stop worrying about how well you perform in bed. We're not reviewing you. Really! Don't worry about it. We get off enough. This is still a business venture. Although I enjoy the full scope of things in this business, there are times when it's nice to have a quickie. I know most ladies -- if they were honest -- would agree. Now don't take that wrong and think that I'm not a GFE because I am. Again, I love taking my time and getting to know the person. I especially love massaging the entire body with my hands and tongue, but also try to remember there is still a time limit (even if we're not clock-watchers).

I find that in the last year, more men are expecting more from us and it's getting frustrating. The reviews even reflect it. We're supposed to French kiss 'til the cows come home, speak Greek, CIM, be a trapeze artist.

Gees! Whatever happened to people just enjoying their time together and not worrying about performance? If you're really into the session, it should be natural and sensuous, not a three-ring circus. However, I could provide a few white elephants after a few drinks if you'd like. Wink!

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 5/10/2006 10:42:16 AM

You can read my reviews and I am pretty honest about what occurs. Sometimes I can keep it up, somtimes I can't. Rarely, in fact I believe only once, have I gone for a second cup.

The first time I saw a provider I was so nervous I couldn't keep it up. Most providers are very understandable. I tell them quickly it is not their fault and I just enjoy the session. I don't think I have ever left a provider where I didn't finish. However my completion might be by the provider's hand rather than her kitty.

-- Modified on 5/10/2006 7:10:00 PM

No flame here, Ciara.  I appreciate your comments.  I consider my every rendezvous a chance to make love, to "know" the woman heart and soul.  I glory in her touch, taste, and scent and I hope by everything I say and do, she knows that.

The fact is that sometimes we hobbyist do get too much into the mindset that Ciara describes, and it is not fair to the provider to put a trip on her.

Performance is not all about physical condition or even how gymanstic you are.

As age starts to take it toll, the old saying that it takes all night to do what I used to do all night becomes less funny, and more reality.

Still, being a good lover has to start with attitude and if you are caring and remember that this is for pleasure and not to prove something, you will probably be OK.

There are many factors that take play in this question and most of them have been answered in previous posts..This is just Katrinas opinion please do not take anything I am about to state personal to anyone...the right girl would get the hint that you are about to "enjoy" your self and back off a bit, tease and taughnt abit and then continue so that this person would enjoy and feel that he is that Great lover as he his... Hope that helps...again just my opnion...excuse the spelling errors on my way out..

I will say this......
when you read a review, remember who is the author... the guy.
Most reviews are more for the writers benefit than the lady or readers.
I gave up writing reviews for the following reasons:
1. What a lady and I do together is between us.
2. The ladies I have seen know what I can and can't do. How good or not, I am.
3. I don't need to tell the world what a "stud", or "dud", as the case may be, I am.

Read every review with a half cocked eye.
They all, after all, just fiction, right?

Just my opinion...
B

For at least two reasons:  first, I have enough sexual dysfunction that I need Viagra to get it up, and even with Viagra, and the sexiest and best performing provider, sometimes I cannot keep it up.

Second, I don't think it is my job to give the provider sexual pleasure.   I am paying for my own pleasure, and my personal fantasy does not include giving someone else multiple orgasms.

That said, I don't put in my limitations in my reviews for two reasons: I don't usually do reviews of sessions where I was not able to hold the erection.  Second, I am afraid that the reader may think it reflects badly on the provider, not me, and I do not want to hurt her business.

Name's Webbie, small troll-like creature, incompetent and inadequate lover at best. *grin*

Here is the thing about reviews, to my thinking at least...Many of them have certain locker room bragging quality about them.  Sure they will tell you how "hot" the lady was, and how good she was, but at the same time is the "ego masturbation" of how great he was, how many times he made her cum, how much she "loved" his penis, his technique, his stamina, ect.  

Another thing is they are written by the clients, from the clients point of view.  If a lady is very good at this, he will beleive he was amazing, she will make him feel like he is great (and I don't mean she will fake anything or anything of that sort) she will play to his strengths, she will guide, and she will make sure he has a goodtime, and if part of his good time rests on her having a good time she will make him believe that she did have a good time.  So, from his perspective he was great, and that will be something he would put in a review.

Also, I have seen a number of guys state that the reason they like to write reviews is to relive the experience, to have it in writing for the purpose of reading and rereading. (Now I think it could be just as easly saved for that purpose in a text file , encrypted on his own computer...databases vomit, sites go away, etc...but whatever works for them) If a guy is writing to be able to relive the session both in the act of writing it and in reading it later, he probably won't for reliving it write how he could only get semi-hard, or couldn't go to completion etc.  That is the stuff he would probably rather forget of a session than be reminded of each time he reads it.

Some reviews are for bragging for the guys...when he says she came 20 times from DATY, or she gave him so much extra time, or she did things with him she doesn't do with other clients and then writes how he and she really clicked or had an immediate connection so others shouldn't expect this to happen...that is to brag, that is to make other guys think he is better than they are, that the ladies like seeing him more, that is again "ego masturbation"...but it is what he wants the world to be able to read and think of him via his online persona.

There are a number of men that write reveiews saying the lady tried but he couldn't go for round two, or that she worked so hard but due to whatever he couldn't "rise to the occassion"  and makes a point to say how great she was at her attempts and it wasn't her fault.  

To the idea of mentioning the troubles as well as the conquests, that can be a double edged sword to the minds of some...she did everything she could, she was wonderful, but he couldn't go...will that make some think perhaps she is less than wonderful?  Is that review an indication of what most clients will experience? and things of the like...

It, I would think, comes down to why reviews are written.  Are they just a bunch of collected anecdotes about individual occurrances that don't apply to what anyone else may experience?  Are they to give  a general idea of what a lady is like so that others can have a clearer idea of whether or not they want to spend time with that lady?  Is it to advertise for or warn against any given lady?  Depending on what the reviewer thinks reviews are and should be will color how the reviews are written, and what is written.

Now, for me...in my limited sexual experience...
I can tell you with absolutely no reservsations that if a lady had an orgasm or anything enjoyable while in my presence...I had nothing to do with it. If she had a good time it was her doing, and I was just lucky enough to be able to witness it happen.

-- Modified on 5/10/2006 2:10:56 PM

please reconsider you rdecision to give up writing reviews.

Actual reviews are vital to the community.  Does the provider look like her pics? Without reviews, the B&S and rip-offs hit more of us.

I concur that writers embellish - hey, but so do providers.  know why?  cause we are human beings.  So write your reviews in your style.  Your contributions will be greatly appreciated.

Peace.

Most of us try to emphasize what the provider did for us, and how she made us feel, so we might not mention directly that we were a less than perfect lover. Reviews are not about us anyway.

My favorite story about my own underperformance goes back to a provider I saw several times in the past (and have never met anyone like her since.) I could not keep an erection unless my head was buried between her legs.

She just laughed and said "I guess I'm going to have to 69 you."

As stated above, I can't get into the self agrandizing that comes in many reviews.
And I agree with your last paragraph.
I will do my best to let her enjoy our time together, but, in reality, I will have very little to do with whether she "cums 10 times" or not.
If she just has a good time and says I could see her again, I will deem it a success and be glad I was lucky enough to have had a part in it.

Just my opinion...
B

I was fortunate the wonderful lady I was with tried soo hard to pleasure me.  Unfortunately, being large fellow and not having been intimate for 2 years, I wsa there for as long as I could, but I know it probably wasn't the full enjoyment she wanted. I was nervous and was afriad to try things.  I really felt bad afterward b/c I wanted to pleasure her as best I could.

As several have pointed out the providers are here as a service, and thier enjoyment is second to the clients.  I can only speak for myself, but part of the great pleasure of the act for me is pleasing her.  So, My review I tried to convey she was the best (and she was) and I hope to make it up to her the time around...  

I'm an awful lover... Mrs. L tells me so, as do all the providers I see.

Erotic!!! whether in a book, a movie, or in a Magazine where ever it comes from... the creativity was the point....oh that is it isn't it...oops

What makes a good lover vs a bad lover?? Fact is Every man and women is different... Every provider has thier own technique...Every man has his own.. Likes and dislikes... so in reality...There is NOT a BAD LOVER!!!  If someone has difficulty..there are medications, that does not make them a bad lover, if a women has difficulty in the other way, same goes for her... Who the heck are we are humans to sit here and judge one another on who is and isnt a better lover...because the truth of the matter is we are all built different and honeys if you have not figured that out by now go back to kindergarden... some work well with others and some dont.. bickering going back-n-forth is silly...started out as a fun question...some of us need to lighten up...(I said "US")....

I have dove into this hobby a few months ago after probably 30years of bareback with my wife.  
I have been thinking that wearing a rubber has extended the time before orgasm due to less heat, less sensation. I am amazed that I have gone longer but under certain cirucmstances could not finish or wanted manual just to have skin to skin feel.  There must be a qualitative difference in manufacturers of rubbers being used as in some instances there is more sensation.  I have not paid any attention to brand names but am going to because it's tiring being the energizer bunny trying to get off with a Goodyear on(brand placement not paid for).  
Yes I am there for me, don't forget its a service, and enjoy the uniqueness of every providers body, reaction, personality(shown), and rythm of the encounter.  I find the individual reviews valuable (best read with a critical eye) but better to take the all the providers reviews into account when making a choice as it is probably a better indicator.
Does anyone bring their own hats for simular reasons??? Any provider issues with that??  

Read some reviews I've written.  One guy accused me of boasting about how long and extremely a lady orgasmed.  Till I pointed out it was the **other lady** in the room who did that.  I just watched and tried to learn.  

I've had orgasm problems for most of my life.  I could boast till last year that at least my erection didn't fail.  Then it failed.  (I think it's related to blood pressure).  So, I began to take some augmentors-- like Viagra.  

In a yet unreviewed session, though, a certain lady finally did cure my orgasm troubles.  Every time I write about that session, though, I get hit by writers' block.    

This hobby is a fantasy.  OK, part of the fantasy is the pretense that we ARE a GREAT LOVER. Or at least that is what we like to think - and I would like to think that the last lady I saw really meant it when she said - "I love the way you have sex with me"  that is so erotic.

It is all part of the fantasy.  Imagine being with the opposite of that - a woman who says, "you have not pleasured me ever, you don't know the first thing about a woman's body.  You may be educated, but you are not very smart."  Under which circumstance would you perform your best?  

NO, I do not require the comments of the first lady, but good god...  are the comments of the second woman even necessary... even on a bad day?

Sorry, I am not too funny today!

O.K. I feel better now!  Now that I've found out I'm not expected to be perfect!  What I would be interested in hearing is when guys have problems, how the provider acts, behaves, and what she tries to do about it.

I only ask, because when mine began to fail about six years ago, I thought the same thing: blood pressure, of which I had a history.  Six months down the road, I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes.  My blood sugar is now under control through diet and exercise, but I don't know if I'll ever have my natural erection back again, though I'm only in my thirties.  An extra special bonus of diabetes that I'd like everyone to be aware of is called neuropathy, which often dulls sensation in the extremities (yes, including the all-important one).  Viagra helps with the hydraulics, but it just doesn't feel the same.  Add a cover to that, and often I'm asking "Am I inside you?"  Please fellas, especially if you're on the big side, ask your doc the next time to do a simple blood glucose test.  Knowledge is power.
P.S. Also, besides a numb, limp dick, diabetes can also cause other minor inconveniences, such as blindness, amputation, etc.

Ok, This may be strange, but I'm not completely satisfied until she's satisfied too! Even if it's faked, I need to see/hear it. I even like it when she masterbates while we're have sex, whatever it takes....

I do to!  We all do! I got to believe however, if the average provider is seeing 4 clients or more a  day, and each guys claims to give  her an average of 2 o's than that is a little much to believe.  I would imagne if the provider has an average sex drive, likes men, she will have one or 2 a day with a client that she would find not unattractive, and who had decent DATY skills.  Remember a high percentage of providers are bi-sexual, or lesbians, and they have ample acces to women that are probaly a lot more attractive to them than almost all of their clients.

...everybody has their own idea of a party.

a bi sexual lover (female) told me when i was in college that the best lover is a man who starts the encouter like another woman would: kissing, carressing, everything you could think of and only when she is ready and you will know,she will beg you to you to go in, you finish like a man. she will cum within two minutes and if she doesn't you didn't do it right. you obviously rub her G-spot

The providers I have seen still tell me I'm a great lover even though I am 1) hung like  a gerbil, 2) fat, 3) old 4)seldom rock hard, 5) take forever to cum and 6) have tongue, will DATY. From what I am told, that, good hygiene and a gift, makes me a great lover.



-- Modified on 5/11/2006 8:48:36 PM

I am watching for trouble on that front.  Apparently, it's not that.   My die is rather high in sugar.  

I'm a bit older than in my 30s.  I do have high blood pressure, though, and I notice quite a difference in performance when it's under control.  

Really, biggest physical reasons for erectile failure are circulatory.  Diabetes creates neuropathy, but it also creates circulatory troubles.  Excessive glucose irritates the arteries and adds to bacterial growth.  Physical impotence is a symptom of clogging arteries.  It actually effects not just the heart, but every organ, including our favorite.  

LOVE THIS GUY!

The only differnece between you and me is #6, my tongue muscle is out of practice.  I stay there for hours it seems before anything happens...