I just recently observed my 47th birthday pass. I say observe because this time around it wasn't much of a celebration. My 40th B-day was no sweat for me but now lookng at 50 just ahead I am struggling with the realization that I have'nt accomplished to much and what I have is precariously fragil and could be easily swept away as if it/I never existed.

  For thirty five years motorcycles have been an all consuming passion with me. Recently I sold the last of a 35 year long line of bikes and I have no interest to fill the empty space in the garage with another. In addition I have let my motorcycle magazine subscription laps with no desire to renew.

  In January my Divorce becomes final and so will end my medical coverage. I barely can afford my mortgage and my new job doesn't offer a medical plan.

   Recently I had to seek new employment but over all I'm not going to be making a lot less than I was but for some reason it feels as if I will. Maybe thats because I'm thinking differently about my situation as I look toward the final half of my life.

  The most cruel joke(s) on me is the bitter cynicism left by two failed marriages. The blessing of this hobby, an ATF who I adore and my all to limited income to enjoy them with.

"This is NOT how I pictured "Mid-life crisis"

Be good to yourself and those who are important to you.

We all experience peaks and valleys along the road of life.  Difficult times don't define your character, but they can reveal it.  

Bow-up to the challenge, make positive progress in your professional and personal endeavors!  Best of Luck!

BTW - buy some individual health coverage. Whatever you can afford (it's more important than hobbying and motorcycles).

Peace.
Silk

what you're describing rings so familiar it should be a Hallmark moment in every man's life!  seriously, someone should literally hand you a Hallmark card bearing the words: "Happy Mid-Life Crisis! We're thinking of you!"  ... this is when you wake up on the other side of the bed (cuz there's no one else in your bed to block the exit), smell the espresso machine starting up by itself (cuz there's no one else in the house to start it) and realize all by yourself (cuz there's no one else there to plant thoughts in your head) that the life you've been leading was not for YOU but for someone else's benefit (as in "living by the book" as with 99.99% of the rest of MANkind)

now that you've offloaded the "dead weight" (both of them) is ripe time you should start living for yourself.  you're right, nearing 50 is a wakeup call that in all likelihood your life is (at least) half over and what you do from now on is what you do for yourself ... enough with helping mankind, womankind will take care of itself in the coming years, someone should take care of you!  and if there's no one left then you should take care of yourself cuz let's face it there's not always someone left to take care of you

my $0.2 advice: the only thing that keeps a man "young" is p*ssy and plenty of it. the more varied, straight-up, ass-backwards, wacky, young, old, short, tall, petite, Amazonian, white, black, yellow, maroon, pierced, tattooed, shaved, bushy, puckered, loose, roomy, tight, frothy, bubbly, steamy, bitchy, talkative, shy, quiet, sweet & lowdown, rich, poor, high-class, no-class, Busty Blonde(TM) or Flat-Chested Brunette(SM), the better!

all this and then on your death bed you will still pinch Nurse Betty's round and muscular ass cheeks and wink out with a smile plastered on your withered old mug
 

I too started the "crisis around 48-49. Started hobbying and I am hooked. I have an SO and intend to keep her. I am selling my last Ferrari and hopefully am done spending money on expensive cars. I would rather spend it on p***y and travel.  I too think p***y will keep you young, or is it just a mid life crisis? I don"t know, but I intend to enjoy the ride. Who knows when it"s over?? Be brave at all times.

ReOff topic) Has anyone else ever felt this way??

A few thoughts from someone who is 50, soon to be 51.  Our lives are all fragile and 99.99% of humanity won't be remembered in any meaningful way after death, except by family and friends who knew them.  Even those memories will fade over time.  I say this not because it is depressing, because it is liberating.  We are put on this earth to LIVE, not to create a legacy.  While you can bemoan your losses, you are also free.  Free to make choices, free to decide how to go on.  If motorcycles no longer excite you, I'll bet you'll find them exciting if you volunteer to help some disadvantaged kids learn how to ride and repair them.  Stay busy and give to others.  No one can be sad long when they are making others happy.  If the mortgage payment is too high, sell the house.  Take some time and do things you always wanted to, but never have.  Maybe even go back to school or learn another language.  Then travel.  Take one day at time and be sure to take "baby steps" on your path for the future.  You'll be surprised how far those "baby steps" will have taken you when you put one foot in front of the other for a while and then look back.

Great post...lol... I was somewhat surprised to see busty blonde in your repertoire...
Naturally,it sure works for me.

Cheers!

i only regert leaving out "Firey Redheads(TM)" ... i even thought to go back and edit my post (as much as i hate doing that) ... but  what better way to salute the brunettes' "comrade-in-arms" REDHEADS than in a post all their own!

crisis when our attitude dictates such!
I didn't cry when I turned 40 BECAUSE I turned 40, but because I was LEAVING my 30's! LOL And 40 just sounded so MATRONLY..so 'frumpy forty'. Thank goodness for 4 older sisters who said that being 40/s wasn't 'frumpy' but rather 'Fulfilling'. So, I ventured to rise up against the phrase 'midlife crisis' and call it a MIDLIFE AWAKENING! And my life becomes more adventurous and more challenging and more exhilarating as it comes!
I love being a woman in her forties, and look back as someone who's been through a hell of a lot - and survived! I now know that I could probably handle or endure anything and thank God for every bit of the hard times because without them I wouldn't now have what it takes to get through. I wouldn't want to be any other age than what I am now (altho 34 was pretty damn good!)
One simple thing I taught my kids and have shared dozens of times over is the Serenity Prayer:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the Wisdom to know the difference."

Then I have them write down on a divided list the things they are struggling with and put them in the 'cannot change' and the 'can change' columns and then proceed with the 'how' to change. It has never failed me.

We cannot control all things, but we can control how we feel about them.

Your life is getting BETTER because it's changing. A lumpy piece of just-mined gold probably isn't worth a darn, but put it through fire, and it becomes that gold nugget.
That's you..

....You must be from the big apple!

That was great "downhome" advise.

Cheers!

ReOff topic) Has anyone else ever felt this way??

This is your ATF. You are so morose. Take a Welbutrin and come and F**** me. I am waiting.

ReOff topic) Has anyone else ever felt this way??

Cheer up!  When I was slightly less than your age, I had three failed marriages, an alcohol and drug problem, debt in six figures, and a career on the verge of disaster.  Oh, yes, and I had an ATF who was, in fact, my then-girlfriend.  

My life could have crashed.  Fortunately, it didn't.  I got treatment for my problem and took a long cold look at myself.  

The bottom line?  It's easy to feel sorry for yourself, but you don't really have an excuse.  Yes, you've made mistakes.  I made terrible mistakes.  But none of us are perfect.  By the time we reach the late 40s, we're mature enough to take care of ourselves responsibly and to respect ourselves.  I started to do that, and by the time I reached 50, I felt that I was starting a new life.  I have a real marriage that has dimensions I didn't know existed; my career has reached new heights; and I'm pursuing other interests that are deeply rewarding.  

I'd highly recommend reading The Road Less Traveled.  You can get it in any bookstore.  

Good luck!

You say you haven't accomplished much, but you've been married
twice. Even though the marriages eventually failed, you must
have done something right to have these women want you in the first place.

I'm in my late thirties and have never even been close to being with a girl I didn't have to pay for. For you, seeing providers is a "hobby", but for me and guys like me, it's a way of life.
So cheer up, you're not doing so bad.

ReOff topic) Has anyone else ever felt this way??

i do not understand men going through this.  do they not realize how much sexier they get as they get older??? we're not that lucky!!