I started these 2 posts because this has helped me. Instead of holding it in I was able to vent some and get some different perspectives. Thanks for the advice and I do have an appointment scheduled.
Now I need some more advice on how to deal with this,i'm on an emotional rollercoaster.I can except the fact she doesn't want to go out with me. It hurts my pride and self confidence,rejection isn't easy for me to take which is why I haven't dated much.Well I tried to still ignore her unless it was work related,but at the end of the day I apologized for being so cold the last couple days. I told her I was mad because she didn't call me,but in the back of mind I was hoping that would get her to call me. The flirting and playing around has stopped.After thinking about it I noticed the difference the day after she called me, something definately felt different.I really thought it through before I asked her out. I know what I saw in the flirting.She brought me back lunch a couple of times without me asking. I told her I went to the movies and she said you went without us meaning her and her kids.There was other things that happened also over a couple of months. I feel like i've done something wrong. I always told myself make sure the next time you try to start dating somebody be sure that all the go ahead signs are there and it feels right.I really thought this was it. I didn't need this right now.I feel like she knew exactly what she was doing and I took the bait.I basically don't want to say a word to this girl.I don't have anyone else to talk to about this so i'm hoping that the people in the ter community can help me through this. Sorry the post is so long.Any advice is appreciated.
Now that a few hours have passed since you wrote this latest post, go back and read it...out loud. Go ahead. I'll wait.
Do you hear the desperation?
My friend -- and I say this without sarcasm -- sometimes the answer is just NO. Accept it. The fixation you've developed concerning this woman is nothing but self-destructive. And don't blame her. Yes, she may be sending you mixed signals, and she may even be doing it intentionally, but YOU are responsible for YOUR OWN well being.
No one can hurt your feelings unless you empower them to do so. So, at the risk of sounding harsh, but truly with the best of intentions; WAKE UP! Go out with a buddy, or make an appointment with one the lovely women who frequent this board or join a health club, but above all, end this. At best, you're going to waste your time and wind up feeling foolish. At worst, you'll wind up losing your job over someone who simply isn't interested.
I'm sorry if I'm stating my point too harshly, but I think you're to the point where you need someone to shake you up a bit.
Do something that takes your mind off of her. One good suggestion is to find a good provider. Do good research so that you will choose a provider who will enhance your enjoyment during the session, you want to avoid providers who will be disappointing. Good sex removes the need to get that from a budding romantic relationship. You will get past the female co-worker soon enough. One suggestion that I have is that during the future you should focus on having a friendship with women instead of allowing it to become romantic too quickly. I like having female friends at work, there is a sexual edge to the relationship but it is something which me and them are comfortable with, nothing gets out of hand and at the end of the day we maintain mutual respect.
You sound like a love sick teenager but I sense that you are not.
What this means is that you have very little experience. The best advice I can give you is to go out on some dates to get some practice. Try an online dating service so you can browse and set up some "friend" dates.
This stuff is not easy. You can't learn this stuff from books and it does take practice. After that, THEN you can fall head over heels for someone.
I started these 2 posts because this has helped me. Instead of holding it in I was able to vent some and get some different perspectives. Thanks for the advice and I do have an appointment scheduled.
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