There's this provider I've been seeing regularly for approx. two yrs.  She's has stopped advertising in my city and now travels alot.....within the last couple of month's I've called her twice and left messages on her voicemail to call but have not recieved a response. I called her quite recently out of the blue and she was so excited to hear from me and anxious to set something up, so I scheduled a session. She calls me 30mins before the session to ask if we could change the time to a couple of hrs later...I tell her no problem. I get to her location, knock on the door, and no one is home. I also tried to call her and she was'nt anwsering her phone. So at this point do I a)Move on and find someone else b) Call and ask what's BUGGING HER.  

Maybe the problem is that we've gotten so close during these two yrs that she has taken me for granted. I'd like to hear what you think.
Thanks

Did she call you to explain what happened?

If she didnt call you back then you should move on!

Im just guessing, you said you two are so close, maybe you saw her too many times and she felt you were getting serious! I could be wrong!

She also didnt return your messages! I think its better to forget about her and move on!


-- Modified on 3/11/2003 1:32:47 AM

unfortunately, in this profession, there are many who fall short of ideal mental health. A veritable catalog of phobia, instability,and superstition lurks behind many a polished exterior.

I would call her and tell her how you feel(about the no phone calls back and the no show)
Its time to move on....sorry

Seems like she is avoiding you or something major is going on in here life. Either way, its bothering you...

Shaye

Regardless of  how successful your provider may become, as an "old friend"/client YOU should always get the same
or better service & response from her, your part of the reason she has become that success! Expect the best,
consistently. If that fades....try another. Wish her the best.

I guess I've been flaked out on too many times in my life, I have a very low tolerance for it.  I say move on and don't look back.

-Anya

Tell her how discourteous she has been after the long excellent relationship you've had, tell her you don't appreciate it, let her know that you're moving on, then move on.

Bottom line is she is either unable or unwilling to respond.  You have better things to do with your life than dwell on what you used to have, a lesson I myself have had reinforced in the past few years.

I personally think for some it may be alittle of both. But in order to routinely deal with what is thrown at you on a daily basis in this business, it does have a tendancy to wear on your mental state after awhile. The keeping of secrets..separating your lives from the outside world, the fear and paranoia that goes with worrying about being caught ect.

But what I have also found (and please ladies I am not talking about anyone specific here) is that a large number of ladies who enter this business at a young age..i.e. 19,20, 21 ect. don't have the emotional maturity to handle the day to day trails this biz can bring. Take into account some of those ladies will continue to work for years in this business and not learn anything else. I have met many of them. This is not to say that there aren't those in the 30's and 40's age bracket that could use a few lessons on maturity, but I have found that those ladies who have lived an entire life before the biz seem to have a better handle on whats going on around them.

We all have our quirks, paranoid delusions and idiosycrancies (sp.) it just is a matter of how bad they are and how public we make them.

I've worked at a lot of different jobs, and I'd have to say my observation is that there is a certain amount of mental dysfunction in our society period, no more in this business than in any other.  You may find a different sort of mental illness in your average suburbanite, but dysfunction is dysfunction.  

I suspect it makes some people feel superior, patronizing, to look at SPs as a whole as a mentally deficient group.  You don't have to treat us like real people because we're already "damaged", right?  It's easy to point the finger, not so easy to look in the mirror.

-Anya

I am not pointing fingers nor am I acting superior to anyone. I was merely stating my opinion based on what I have observed in the time I have been in this business. If you will re read my post I never said All, I said some. And you are right, there are basic dysfunctions in every business, but he was asking about this one in particular.

I can quote statistics I have read about working at the post office that would make your head spin. Or that it is well documented that the highest rate of suicide in any profession is amoung...Dentists. Figure that one out.

I was merely stating that there is a certain amount of paranoia and issues related to "Some" ladies in this business and rightly so, given the amount of time having to lead a double life and deal with the day to day basics of this business. You can say its like any othet job and that is not so. It is intimate, personal and we give so much of ourselves everytime, that at some point it has to be wearing.

I am sorry if you felt offended by what I said. I look in the mirror every morning and see the issues I carry with me every day. And if you ask anyone who knows me, I don't point fingers, because there are usually 4 pointing back in my direction.

~Lass