I was just fondly remembering a provider who was a bit more than special to me... she was great. Funny, fun to be with, intelligent, and very kind.... I went to just send her a note - of something that she might enjoy... and alas, she has vanished.... her profile has been removed, and her website is gone....
just really kinda bummed my day out.... has anyone else had this happen.... did you ever reconnect? or was it just to be like that!?
How do you cope with this... or do you just "press on?"
that I ever saw for a lady, I ran across quite by accident. That day, I made a vow that someday, I was going to see her. I did email her, and she was very gracious, even gave me a call. She enjoyed the story of how I had run across her website. About a month before I was to be in her area, I went to her website, which was still there, but only with one page that said that she had retired.
That's a downer.
I guess I'm conditioned to expect relationships to be temporary. During my military career I hooked up with SOs regularly. But we knew that either I or the lady would be moving on at the end of a tour or at the whim of Uncle Sam. So I'm used to it. But there are two ladies in particular, one now deceased, that I would give an awful lot to be able to keep house with again.....
I don't know about you but I don't get over it. It leaves its mark. But you have to get on with it. A new adventure awaits around the next turn of fate.
And sometimes you don't want to "get over it." Even short-term acquaintances are us "connecting" with other people. In other aspects of our lives we have financial exchanges with people we care about and don't think the relationship is less real. Part of the pleasure of "hobbying" to me is forging a few good relationships (which have a great sexual component)with some extraordinary people. The flakes drop out of mind, but never disappear; they serve as a reminder of how good it can be when I find a person I click with. I've been fortunate over the years to have a few. They've moved on--but I've been doing this since the 80's on and off--but they memories are sweet, they remain, and will til I "move on." Money is--just money. But great experiences and relationships can give real meaning to the over-used phrase "once in a lifetime." Thanks for this thread, guys. It got me to remembering.
Have been a TER regular since 2004 and over time have compiled a list of favorites, comprising ladies I have seen or have wanted to see and whose reviews I like to read. Well, I just scrolled back over the list and found that about 25% are "no longer available on TER" and it makes me wonder.....what is the average (TER on TER) career-span of a provider? Is it customary for providers to provide for a year or two and then move on. Is it actually a minority who stay longer? its puzzling to me since all the ladies I have seen gave no evidence of anything but complete happiness regarding what they were doing -but of course one can't see very far inside anothers heart and soul in asession or two.
So it seems that yes, sadly for us, favorites seem to disppear at a rate higher than one might have predicted.
Here's wishing them blissful happiness in their non-TER lives!!!
George
and I really miss her. I also agree that there is this "little place" for the special one's that doesn't get taken care of.
There are always a couple of special people who make an impact in your life and when they go away it has to impact a person.
I was feeling bummed today about other issues and now I'm more bummed!
by my calculations - 2 1/2 years is the average time on TER.... I've been around longer - but you would have to know my other (now retired) TER handle to know how long....
but there are a couple of providers who've been around quite a while... and still post on occasion...
I tried to contact one of my ATFs, a great lady: beautiful in the deepest sense of that word, intelligent, sexy and very sensual, and a loving friend. I got no response. Then, someone who frequently posts here happened to contact me because she said her friend had mentioned a Dr. joe who sounded like me. He friend turned out to be this lady. She told me the lady had gotten married and was starting a family. I will miss her, but I am thrilled for her and her lucky husband and I would never want to intrude in the slightest way on her life.
My memory of her and one or two others is a gift I will always treasure.
-- Modified on 12/11/2008 2:42:09 PM
I think that closure is a big help. In your case, you can check the box that says she left to do something good. The ones that just vanish are tougher to deal with IMHO.
have done my heart good! It is so nice to hear that you guys appreciate what we providers do for you! That is just so wonderful.
These are the kinds of posts that I love!
Hugs to all,
Belinda
close in my book. Frankly, I think I'd jump off the highest thing I could find if it wasn't for the pleasure I receive from my fav providers.
It isn't all about sex. Much of it is the kind words and just a gentle back rub. Really. No kidding.
OK, the great hooters really help!
Seriously. God bless you gals.
CG
love and light adorn thy path
luv ya all
Gregory
It was all too recently that I realized what a gift this hobby really is. And it certainly wouldn't exist without you wonderful women.
I recently posted a "Tribute To A Totally Unselfish Provider" who had changed my life and then "let me go" so I could find something in life that she was unable to give me. A true lady and a true memory etched inside forever. We have been in touch ... I emailed her the link to my Post and she thanked me, but added that "it was more praise than she deserved." How can you forget somelike like that?? The truth is, for me, I never will forget. I'd like to think that she's happy, safe, and getting what she wants out of life. These experiences are ones which will always show us in the hobby how fortunate we have been to meet those who have made that "impact" on our lives. When they disappear, I know it's hard to deal with ... and I hope you accept that the gift of pleasure you both received will probably also be a memory for her too. Thanks for the post --- it made me think about this lady too ...and warm memories.
There's the provider who decides to retire. That is somewhat sad, but at least there is closure and you know what happened and can accept it.
Then there's the provider who dumps you for whatever reason. Again, that's OK, it's NSA after all.
Then there's when you dump them for whatever reason. Again such is life.
Sometimes providers disappear into thin air. It sucks not knowing if you'll see them again but it's all part of the life we choose.
Right now I'm dealing with the suckiest type of situation. There a lovely Korean gal I had been seeing for almost monthly for ten years. We got very close where I've been to her apartment and met her sisters and other friends. She got busted by INS several months ago. In her voicemail to me she said not to call her cell for my own safety. It's killing me not knowing if I'll ever see her again or if she'll ever be allowed in the US again.
I hate this.
You have to accept that no matter how special the connection may be between you and a provider there may well come a time when she decides that she has to move on from that part of her life and sever all ties to it. It hurts but after a while you find a new lady and all that remains of the past are sweet memories. I'm not going to kid you, It takes a while...
I had become fond of. One gal was my ATF but her availability has become quite limited and my work travel schedule has changed as well. After a while you learn to live with the memories. Then, you go out looking for a new adventure.
... silently and in your heart.
And know that she has a good reason for wanting to vanish like that and know she did what she thought was best for her.