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Relationship with SW
psychman 14 Reviews 1675 reads
posted

I was reading the post "Falling for a provider" and thought that I would share my experience. I had been enjoying the hobby for years when four years ago I met a SW in her 30s (I was in my 50s at the time). When we first met, she was an odd young woman but the session was particularly intimate. We cuddled a lot but also had great sex. She expressed a desire for me to remain past our agreed upon time but I needed to leave. Btw, I am a married man. I set up a second appointment with her a month later. When I greeted her with a hug, she awkwardly told me, "You are going to think that I am crazy but I think I love you." I was very surprised to hear this but I did feel an honesty and intimacy with her. I told her that I think I might love her too. We met another time at a hotel room. The fourth time she invited me to meet her at her home. Then we started meeting for coffee and hanging out together at her house. We eventually became partners. She is polyamorous and has one other partner. I am married but always wished that I could be honest with my wife but she would never understand. We have been together for four years now. We have sex regularly without financial obligation although I do give her money when I feel like it to help her with her two children but she rarely asks because, she says, "I never want to to think that I am with you for money. Much of the time we just cuddle and kiss. Her children know me and she trusts me to leave them alone with me. She still works in the hobby but on a very limited basis. I have even driven her to her appointments because she doesn't drive. I still, occasionally, see other SW but she is aware and fine with it.  We have had our rough times but overall it has been a great relationship. Just wanted to share a good experience with a former SW.

BigPapasan86 reads

I would say you may be the reincarnation of this guy:
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/it-matters-to-me--636480?page=

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psychman74 reads

Her kids are too old for diapers, lol. But I have gone grocery shopping with her to Costco several times!

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snafu929124 reads

...and TER slapped me down.  I read the 9 year old thread that was posted out of curiosity and one of the posters stated that TER won't allow talk of drugs during session which on one hand makes sense why they would not allow my review.  They first restriction is when I tried to warn the discussion board of drug use by a provider and TER stated it needed to be done in the review.  They declined the review because of "content" but were never specific.

In this case, I walked in the hotel room, she welcomed me and said she had to pee and to toss the envelope in my hand into her open purse.  As I did, I noticed a small, golf ball size baggie of rock.  I gtf out of there immediately.  Don't know what it was but all I saw was myself in a potential felony arrest.  When she came out, all she would have seen is the cartoon scene where papers were flying from the vacuum of my ass going out the door.  She texted me wanting to know where I went and I told her the envelope was on the bed and I was first time, nervous and sometimes I get the shits so I had to duck out.  To her credit, she offered to see me again after I cleaned up.  

I thought this would be good info for other mongers to be aware of, she had recent reviews pop up on the board as the newest cheap but great blowjob.  All I could do is leave a trail for mongers to pm me for the details, a few did.

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coeur-de-lion107 reads

publicly accuse a provider of a criminal act, except in a rip-off report where you got scammed, but you still can't accuse her of drug use.  Likewise, you cannot accuse a provider by name of giving you an STD.  Those are set in stone according to my understanding.  

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impposter111 reads

Just to be clear ... I think that it is OK to mention a "problem" on the boards (publicly) but direct others to use PM for more details (privately).  E.g., "I recently met a well-known [blond or touring or top-ten or tall or other narrowing descriptor] Provider in Some-City.  None of her previous 18 reviews mentioned anything about substance use. Needless to say, I had a scary, lousy time. PM me for details."  
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A board post like that would be OK, right?

Posted By: coeur-de-lion
Re: The rules are plain that you can't . . . .
publicly accuse a provider of a criminal act, except in a rip-off report where you got scammed, but you still can't accuse her of drug use.  Likewise, you cannot accuse a provider by name of giving you an STD.  Those are set in stone according to my understanding.  

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coeur-de-lion77 reads

You just can't attach the "problem" to a specific girl publicly.  PM by it's very nature does not violate the rules unless a recipient publishes the contents on a board, which is subject to banishment or some lesser sanction depending on how egregious the violation was.  However, if your description of a girl is so precise that most members will figure out that it can only be a certain girl, you are playing with fire.

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herbtcat88 reads

But many similar stories posted here end poorly, so caution may be prudent.  

 
I'm not married and have never dated a provider, but I still have one important piece of advice for you:  

 
Do not drive her to see clients, and especially not in your personally owned car.  

 
If she is ever arrested for providing, you can be arrested by the feds for human trafficking. This dynamic arises from the FOSTA/SETSA legislation passed several years ago.  True, you may never see charges filed and even if they are, you will likely never face a conviction. But getting arrested for enabling sex trafficking alone is enough to ruin your marriage, your career, your finances and your life in general.

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

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psychman78 reads

Thank you for your advice! It has been a long time since I drove her to her client and it was only a couple of times. She has a friend that typically drives her with her car. But I appreciate the words of caution.

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holystonethedeck74 reads

Posted By: herbtcat

 If she is ever arrested for providing, you can be arrested by the feds for human trafficking.
In which case, it really doesn't matter whose car he's driving.

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herbtcat78 reads

True regarding the arrest. But the car he's driving will be seized/impounded and probably never returned. It's called "asset forfeiture" and it means LE can seize personal property of citizens if they suspect or have evidence that the items was used to commit a crime or was obtained illegally from the profits of a crime.  

 
The bar is low - very low - no warrant required. They just take it and he will have to sue the LE agency to try to get it back - if they haven't already sold it and used the proceeds to fund their operations.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

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RegencyHobbyist83 reads

Correct. I did an asset forfeiture case back in the 80s. The government  seizes your property. You have to sue the government to get it back, AND at trial you have the burden of proof to establish that the seized asset was not used during the commission of a crime. In most cases, and especially in the case of a vehicle, it costs way more to sue to try to get the car back than the car is worth.

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impposter107 reads

The ancient philosophers (Greece, Rome, etc.) wrote about different kinds of love. As "modern" religions developed, theologians developed their theories of love (Love of god is different from love of wife is different from love of family ...). [... see wikipedia or the entire Library of Congress for more references ...] ... all the way up to Leo Buscaglia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Buscaglia and others since.  
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Personally, I think it's possible to love your wife AND love your girl friend at the same time. But they get different kinds of love. According to many philosophers, love grows; that is, you do NOT have to take love or diminish love for A in order to love B. Sometimes, love for B enhances the love for A.
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Just be careful about trying to prove that in the divorce proceedings.

Posted By: psychman

I was reading the post "Falling for a provider" and thought that I would share my experience. I had been enjoying the hobby for years when four years ago I met a SW in her 30s (I was in my 50s at the time). When we first met, she was an odd young woman but the session was particularly intimate. We cuddled a lot but also had great sex. She expressed a desire for me to remain past our agreed upon time but I needed to leave. Btw, I am a married man. I set up a second appointment with her a month later. When I greeted her with a hug, she awkwardly told me, "You are going to think that I am crazy but I think I love you." I was very surprised to hear this but I did feel an honesty and intimacy with her. I told her that I think I might love her too. We met another time at a hotel room. The fourth time she invited me to meet her at her home. Then we started meeting for coffee and hanging out together at her house. We eventually became partners. She is polyamorous and has one other partner. I am married but always wished that I could be honest with my wife but she would never understand. We have been together for four years now. We have sex regularly without financial obligation although I do give her money when I feel like it to help her with her two children but she rarely asks because, she says, "I never want to to think that I am with you for money. Much of the time we just cuddle and kiss. Her children know me and she trusts me to leave them alone with me. She still works in the hobby but on a very limited basis. I have even driven her to her appointments because she doesn't drive. I still, occasionally, see other SW but she is aware and fine with it.  We have had our rough times but overall it has been a great relationship. Just wanted to share a good experience with a former SW.

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Steve_Trevor79 reads

that you’ve been having an affair for four years?  I can’t imagine why not.

 
Have you considered being honest with your wife so she can find a second partner of her own, or file for divorce if she doesn’t want to share you with another woman?

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JennyNicole97 reads

I actually married one of my old regulars years ago. It didn’t last long but our relationship friendship was more lasting then the actual marriage. It’s nice to see someone share a story similar.  

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