I think it has become more predictable, if not "Disneyfied". Give me a girl that wants to deliver a "10" performance, and I don't care if we meet in an alley. I am not as impressed with the where, as much as the what.
I was shocked tonight when my ATF reported that her date canceled his incall appointment with her at the last minute because the hotel didn't suit him. Now, granted that we all have the right to back out at the last minute for any reason or no reason, but the hotel is perfectly fine -- it's just that it's deliberately "artsy" -- not a chain hotel room stamped out of a mold, but a venerable old building that's been updated with Warhol memorabilia and pop art prints.
This got me to thinking: back in the old days, before the Internet, a guy had to take some risks and some serious leaps of faith to "hobby." Of course, at one extreme was the streetwalker experience, where connecting with the provider was one friggin' scary experience, and getting the room was another. More than once I've climbed the dark, rickety stairwell of a $10 hotel behind the swaying butt of a very hot-looking woman of very questionable emotional stability.
But even at the other end -- the high-end brothel experience -- the hobby was never a sure thing. Brothels, and providers, came and went; you never knew for sure that she was really as good as she seemed until she took her clothes off; and there were no reviews to give you a sense of how she'd perform.
So I consider that poor guy who missed an hour or so of absolutely electric bliss with my ATF because, apparently, the hotel wasn't plain enough vanilla for him -- and I wonder if the Hobby has become Disneyfied, homogenized, bland and de-individualized? There's little or no risk any more. Every provider seems to have to measure up on her website to a "Barbie" standard; guys get to know everything that will happen before it happens. And, on the guys end -- when I read threads like the one the other day about guys' checklists -- I laugh. Used to be in the old days that the only prep I had was a pickle in my pocket.
Is there any real excitement left -- or is the hobby a "safe adventure" now -- sort of like going on a good ride at Disneyland: it gives you a thrill as long as you can believe it it, but you know deep down that what you really paid for is to be returned, after the ride, to the same state that you started in -- safe, unchanged and even unruffled.
I don't condone a guy calling off a session for such a frivolous reason. But keep in mind you're getting your info just from the provider. There might have been another reason.
And thank god, the good old days are just that. Who wants to go back to TOFTT everytime out? I hobby for the thrill of being with someone new (or nearly new) and exciting but have no interest in taking unnecessary risks. I have a life and don't wish to take chances that would have consequences for my real (read 99% of the my life outside of the hobby).
If going out and having great experiences 90%+ of the time with minimal risk of bodily harm or interface with LE then all I have to say is, "I'm going to Disneyland!"
I think today's state of the hobby is much better than times past. I like knowing in advance what I can expect and what I shouldn't. Before a client was in the dark which made us vulnerable. No need for that anymore.
We speak the same language, my friend.
I agree with much of what not4lng said, for in the hands of people who really care about the experience and the people involved (like I know you do), it is never Disneyfied. However, you raise some good points about the novice. In some ways, it is like the child who is brought up with wealth...he can never appreciate what it was like when his parents had to struggle for money.
Thanks for being as thought provoking as always.
Thank you for an excellent post. Your post reminded me of my youthful days of lust or to be vulgar; when I was young, dumb and full of cum. I hear you, buddy. The element that is missing for me is the colorful aspect of the sharing of stories to assist in our research. TER reviews tend to be repetitious and bland. You call the hobby today Disneyfied, and that’s fair. To me it’s McDonaldized or corporate.
I learned about the “hobby” back in the day from an ol’ Army Sergeant who recite in clear detail a synopsis of every brothel from Southeast Asia, Juarez to Laredo. He told us to ask for Pedro at the Dos Equis bar, tip him and “don’t act stupid”. To us young privates his advice was considered essential. He was our hero.
Nevertheless we still made mistakes. One time I had to bail out a buddy in a Mexican jail because he brandished a gun in a bar. Yep! He got stupid. The point is these personal experiences of shared adventures and mistakes i.e. interfacing, in the quest for nookie, defined my character. I learned about whom to trust, and read people by my gut and not some arbitrary numerical system.
We weren’t concerned if our lady of the night provided GFE or not. Heck, we give her five stars for not robbing us or giving us VD. Yes, these dark rooms smelled like cheap perfume with a particular musty odor but damn it sure was fun.
-- Modified on 1/11/2007 12:06:19 AM
I think it has become more predictable, if not "Disneyfied". Give me a girl that wants to deliver a "10" performance, and I don't care if we meet in an alley. I am not as impressed with the where, as much as the what.
I know what you are saying and I also remember the dives I used to go to to fine a little nookie and the adrenaline rush and all...
But I am so gald to be able to see web sites for and converse with a provider first now, and meet them in a nice hotel and know that all will come off perfectly...just like Disneyland!
How to combine the excitment of the old days with the comfort and convienience of the internet age?
Maybe the Bush administration will find a way?
Someone who wants MORE drama!
I haven't seen a lady reply yet but I bet they certainly don't want to go back to the days of alley's, abusive pimps (yeah I know they are still around but it is not the same), and cheap condoms.
One thing the net has brought. Ho drama public.
Bring information to the room and leave the
I was around before the net but don't have any alley or abusive pimp memories, thanks goodness.
I am sure they are still out there though. Even with the net.
I think some even have reveiws.
Before the net, really wasn't so bad, I think it was somewhat less stressful. It has it's good & it's bad like anything else.
Sara
One can overdo the Mouse House... I think we tend to depersonalize the hobby experience by reading all the reviews in minute detail prior to visiting a lady. From 2000 until 2004 I did just that, then realized much of the pleasure I had previously found in the hobby was missing. As if I was not meeting a lady for the first time when in fact I might be. I took some much needed time off from "playing" and when I returned to active duty started seeing under the radar/referral only (utr/ro) girls.
All I knew about a lady up front was, I would be very pleased with the end result, and maybe a photo or three. The hobby regained its lost luster.
Now 2 years later, and in a new city, I'm seeing ladies I don't know from head to toe via their reviews, and enjoying it much much more.
I suggest if your hobby experience has lost something it once had, take a much needed break for a few months or several, or even a year.
Come back and don't memorize a ladies stats, see someone who is possibly utr/ro or someone new to the scene with a referral from a trusted friend.
I can almost guarantee you will enjoy it ever so much more, once again.
ML out
ps: Or perhaps, start "dating outside the box" You may be "stuck on type" see ladies who are not what you consider your type, you may discover some thing new you've been missing. Have an open mind here.
Out again
I have another utr/ro girle for ya ML. PM me and I'll share, hahahaha.
Martin Luther is absolutely correct. Kudos ML!!!!
Tra
Seems like a hobbying view of the familiarity breeds contempt adage. Since I don't have several years history in this pastime, I'm currently far from a burn-out phase. I have read from many veterans who also mentioned reaching a plateau where amazingly the 'thrill is gone'. I'll trust my more experienced hobbying bros that this may occur but for now I thoroughly enjoy hitting the sheets with a variety of beautiful women. So my goal is to maintain the greatest time distance from my last disappointing encounter. Researching reviews provides my best bet for doing that.
I see much merit in what ML is saying. If I'm reading him correctly, he is saying to look at the review scores but not delve heavily into the individual reviews so that one can have a session that has some mystery to it. The only drawback is if one is looking for a specific service which the provider may or may not provide. Reading the reviews would help here.
As far as individual reviews go, I have to disagree with some of the comments here that they're mostly salacious and filled with gory details. Some are, which is of course encouraged by TER. But I see many that paint a picture of what it might have been like to have been a fly on the wall. The best of these do give the reader a goode sense of the provider's personality and attitude during the session. And then you have the fantasy reviews where the hobbyist says something to the effect of,
'I dined at the Y for 15-20 minutes and she had 4 big O's (for real guys) Then I could see she was eagerly looking forward to the main event....'
I love the whole delusional quality of these reviews as I imagine some tubby, bald middle-age guy wheezing his way through a session but firmly convinced that his hot 20-yr old partner is loving it as much as he is.
-- Modified on 1/11/2007 7:50:23 PM
My first thought upon reading your post was that the client may have thought the hotel wasn't "nice" enough therefore cheapening the experience for him. Some *need* (as opposed to just enjoying it) the fancy brand name hotel, the nice dinner, the "right" clothes, etc. in order to make it seem less tawdry since at the core, most people see the hobby as wrong or dirty, even those who partake in it. They need to fluff it up to feel OK about doing it. Not that I condone what he's done or think it makes a lot of sense, but it was the first thing that popped into my mind.
With the Internet, we're able to research everything we do, everything we purchase, everywhere we go. We can ask for information from hundreds of strangers in just one short posting on one of a million message boards. It's a consumer's dream come true.
On the other hand, it has taken the excitement out of most everything we do. Specific to this industry, it has dehumanized women. Men have a checklist of what they want, they look at reviews and regardless of her personality, her intellect and only based on her pretty pictures, rates and the lists of what she will or won't do per reviews or word of mouth he decides whether or not to see her.
Of course, I don't mean to paint with a broad brush here, I know for a fact there are gentlemen who are initially attracted to a women by her personality and her intellect and then go from there when making a decision about seeing her. However, I see message boards in which the women are spoken of without much regard, as though they are cattle at an auction, animals without emotion instead of sensitive human beings with deep feelings.
It's true, providers put themselves out there on the world wide web and we should expect public scrutiny from the size of our breasts to the what we write on our websites. Still, it's important to remember us as human beings, not products, not slabs of meat or robots.
Best,
Kate Bishop
Kate,
You said "I see message boards in which the women are spoken of without much regard, as though they are cattle at an auction, animals without emotion instead of sensitive human beings with deep feelings."
That is the reason I do not post reviews on this board. I think their requirements lead to the result you talk about.
There is no room for poetry, mystery, or flights of fancy. Everything has to be how many pops? Does she do CIM? Does she have a sexy body?
I think if this board changed the requirements for its reviews you might see more interesting reviews about more interesting ladies.
I, too, have noticed the sameness of reviews --- bj, daty, positions, number of pops, physical appearance, list of positions, and provider enthusiasm (or lack of it) being the principal components. How many people have had reviews rejected because they deviated from this stereotype?
-- Modified on 1/11/2007 1:17:02 PM
I'm somewhat new to TER and the hobby. I totally agree with the previous two posts. I am in the process of trying to submit a review for a new ATF of mine who already is listed on TER. I gave a much more detailed account than what i normally see here of our session trying to portray the kind of person she is which I believe is so much more revealing than just listing the sexual acts they will perform which are already required to be answered in the review above the narration. If TER wont post it I will no longer waste my time submitting reviews until the editorial staff wakes up and realizes hobbyists are interested in more.
I am always a little surprised at how many unreviewed girls from Craigs list or Cityvibe's Erotic Services get a first review. But I also understand it. It's the thrill of the unknown, where you go into a crap shoot. Without a lot of info, it lets your fantasy of what might be roam a little freer.
I agree to some extent but I have also been ripped off in this so called crap shoot I personally like to have some idea of what this girl is offering,because it sucks to go through all the hassle of a set up and get there to find out you just paid three hundred dollars for a bj that was worth 20 at best
Disneyfied??? One of my goals before I depart this realm is have a session at The “artsy” Chelsea Hotel in NYC
7th inning stretch and yawn for VR...lol...
close but no cigar...
I've ran out of cliches...
At least I had fun with Candy.
Cheers ole' pal!...seems like a grand dame!
Thanks, pal. I was thinking of you when the news came in...all's not lost...there will certainly be a return engagement. Hope all's well w/ you!
Just because an experience doesn't have the same type or level of risk is hardly reason to consider it devoid of spirit or charm. And we should all be careful of making broad judgments based on very limited inputs. In the case of the hobby, I think the answer to your question lies in 3 parts: One, go back and look at even highly regarded providers' reviews. You will see that there is a variety of responses to the lady. Every hobbyist experiences that lady differently because he brings different expectations, likes and dislikes and the provider's response will be equally distinct. Two, I'm always a bit skeptical of anything that sounds like "In the old days". I'm a skiier. Shaped skis definitely make it easier to make turns. So does that make the experience more vanilla (as some old timers would claim)? Or does it make it easier for me to get to a level of skiing where I'm having fun, where I'm more likely to try an off-piste run and where I can push my own physical limits? Three, as with anything in life, we get out of the hobby what we put into it. I have no problem with the guy who wants to go to McDonald's in Paris because he wants predictability. Just as I'm perfectly ok with the guy who will drink rice wine from the communal jug in a remote mountain village in a faraway country. You want adventurous? You'll find a way to get it. You want safe? We've got that too. The good news is that in today's environment, finding what suits your particular taste for adventure is easier than it's ever been. Happy Hobbying.
I'd say not.
But certainly the sleaze - and associated danger of physical harm (let alone from ugly micro-organisms) - is much lower.
However, I agree with the implications that the reviews have become McDonaldized. More than once, at the end of a good session, did a provider decline that I write a review because it put her into the limelight (she did not seek) or she felt uncomfortable with the "meat-market" image.
As for feeling like "slabs of meat" Kate mentions, I recall the nightclubs in Indonesia and parts of Malaysia where the "talent" sat on bleachers behind a one-way mirror, in a room on the way to the restrooms. They wore numbers - like in a beauty contest - and one chose the one to dance with, taking it from there...
Interesting experiences, thrilling, fairly safe if that is possible for someone of different ethnicity in a police state...
Having mellowed some (part of the ageing process?) I find some security in the present state of affairs and definitely prefer them to picking a tel nr out of a personal ad or the yellow pages in some strange city (in this country). Maybe then agencies meant a (relative) kind of security????
I used to share my incall w/ a gal & she had this guy over who just did not like my place & told her so & then left. He got all attitudey when she told him we share the place. He made comments like saying that it must be dirty, etc.
My place is very neat, but it's not super fancy. Not scummy either, just average.
Also, I have read in a review where a guy bitched that the hotel he went to for a date was only 4 stars, not five.
I mean who cares. Especially if it's only an hour date.
You cannot please everyone.
I still think there is lots of excitement & risk. Sara