A gentleman told me the other day that he received a pm regarding a lady that he had seen. He said the guy pm'd asking what he paid her for that session! I was floored!
Please tell me that was the EXCEPTION, and certainly not more the norm!
I asked someone that recently...I was wondering how much time he had spent with her and wanted to get his opinion on her rates cause they were quite high, higher than the norm.
Sedona, Please educate me and tell me why is not ok to ask that? We can ask about everything else, stuff that is even more personal but we can't ask that?? :-|
If a gentleman wants to know anything about her rates, he needs to discuss with HER. If he has checked around and found her rates to be too high, then he should look for something more to his expectations.
When I give a quote to a gentleman, I've taken some of my own considerations into effect and I don't even necessarily tell HIM why I've come up with that fee, so it certainly wouldn't make any sense or difference to anyone else. The fee, IMO, should be privy to the parties involved ONLY and is no one elses' business.
Then, of course, there is the discussion of money that, when asked, puts someone on the spot, and in a very umcomfortable, compromising position by responding at all..(right?)
Since I'm a professional as well (no, not like THAT!), and consider it bad form for someone to "shop my bid" as they say in the trad, I guess I would have to agree. Never thought of it from that perspective.
Well Sedonasandiego, I always quote the listed rate, if asked, Any discount I am offered is never mentioned. Because that is between me and her. But honestly is has only happened a few times. it was never about rates but more about presonality and type of experience.
I think any business related questions are fair to ask follow hobbyists. The profiles are not always up to date, especially what a provider charges. Asking such questions (doe she look like her pics?, is she really ?? years old, does she charge $$$ now? etc etc) I think is fair, and is why TER exists.
Well, it is really tough from a guys perspective. If he has never met you, he is supposed to avoid the dicussion of money. However, if he wants to spend an amount of time with you that is not posted on your site, he may look at a review by somebody that spent a similar amount of time with you and ask what he spent.
I haven't been in that situation but I can surely see that happening in an environment like SD. Sometimes innocent questions are just that, they don't have any intended malice.
Is there more to this than I thought? Why would it be necessary to PM another client about this? I thought, perhaps naively, that the rates were rather standard, easy to figure out, and pretty much posted on websites, with the the reviews telling you what to expect. Take the session time and multiply, right?
I just assumed it was CHEAP FU--ERS who didn't want to spring for a VIP membership.I caught on after the first couple of PMs I recieved when I started posting. I now just give them My position that they should show their support and become VIP members. eom
Rates posted on the website-no problem. TER does not solve everything since the rate is listed to VIP only for first entry and may be way out of date. I PM'd someone who claimed that his intended date turned into a twosome and I wanted to know how that was handled financially. His response was not one of surprise but understood why I inquired. In what way is this any more risky with regard to LE than the actual content of many providers' websites? And isn't it really the 'cheap' guy who does not bother to investigate if he has enough funds to cover fees? I really think I am missing the reason for all this fuss.
and I do believe, that in order to have reviews on TER, the providers does have to have a website, which will lead you back to her rates, which is listed on her website lol What transpires between a client and the provider, should remain such: discreet/discrete. If she had discounted him, does not mean that you (the hobbyist), will be given that discount. That is why it's important for the hobbyist to sign up for a TER membership, and read her reviews, and make sure to click on her website link, for her rates. Yes, sometimes the rates listed on TER may not reflect what is listed in her website. But, I bet you that her rates listed on her website, are more update than what is listed on her reviews.
In my post, what I was saying is that "Bob" sees Melinda (example), and Bob gets a PM from Bill saying he read Bob's review about the overnight Bob had with Melinda. Melinda's rates are posted on her WEBSITE (don't go off TER profiles - those are not her rates). What Bill wants to know is NOT what Melinda's rates are, but what BOB paid for the overnight! He just wants to know what HE paid! Is that more clear? THAT is nobody's business!
If someone wants to know what someone's RATES are, I can see asking - that's a logical question and not a problem. Maybe the guy doesn't have VIP. Maybe he couldn't access her website (again, NOT TER profile!), or maybe he's an idiot, whatever.
I received a number of PM's about this thread's post, and it wasn't about her RATES. It's about what somebody ELSE paid to see her! I certainly would like to think that most clients keep that to themselves.
I use the rates posted on the providers website as something to be "prepared" to pay, and if the provider and I agree to any deviation, that is our business. If a provider doesn't honor the rates posted on her website, then she is at fault, and should be "outed". However, I would guess most ladies are good about that, and any who don't have a working website I wouldn't see anyway.
This has not happened to me but I can say that my response would be to NOT devulge that information. I feel that rates are posted, in most cases, and in the case of a regular getting a discount or a special rate, it is only the business of the provider.
If a provider wants to give me a break or a special rate, my thought is "thanks" and it stays between me and her. Be nice to her and maybe she will offer it to you.
Lots of ladies list only a phone #. IMO, it is fair game to ask questions to others who have seen them about their rates. I personally wouldn't call or see any woman where I did not have an indicatioin of the rates before I ever contacted her.
I ask what her contributions are based on time. You just have to be careful how its asked and what terms you ask. IF you aske how much for a BJ etc..... you scream of LE and you won't get an answer.
Ask what laguages are spoken. Translated french or not.
Beyond that you have to find reviews or take your chances.
Any lady who have never seen you is gonna freak over explicit and direct questions.
I'm not asking for information about sex acts. I do want to know "going in" what she charges and I don't want to have a conversation where she is checking out the size of my wallet. If she wants to play, she can post some rates. I don't want to be part of an informal marketing study.
If a lady doesn't have any rates listed on her site, it's within your rights to call and ask her. I am assuming that she is comfortable with discussing the rates via the phone.
I have had other members ask me certain things about providers I have seen. None asked rates.....Discounts are between me and the provider and I would quote the listed rate if asked.
Are your rates situational or negotiable? If not, any answer would simply reinforce your published rate. If so, don't be surprised that we don't want to be the 'sucker' paying a higher rate than our mates.
One of the ladies I've reviewed for some reason has generated more responses from guys emailing me or PMing me here and elsewhere for some reason
I usually tell them the review was accurate and/or direct them to the review or reword the review a bit and confirm yes I'd recommend her but I've had some guys(LE?) ask me some incredibly detailed questions about her too
I mean like does she have kids..is she married...where about does she live...does she have a day job...etc.
Sheeesh
I never would answer any of those questions whether I knew the answers or not
I have no idea what there is about her that prompted so many responses...I will tell you this...when I got those very specific questions I told her about them so she can be a bit more careful screening new clients
I must admit I'm surprised to see a TER veteran concerned about this.
Just what do you think TER *is*? You can say it's "bad form" but some people say that to "kiss and tell" is bad form. Now read some reviews and blush. We share information that is MUCH more intimate and personal than the mere business figures.
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What transpires between a client and the provider, should remain such: discreet/discrete. If she had discounted him, does not mean that you (the hobbyist), will be given that discount. That is why it's important for the hobbyist to sign up for a TER membership, and read her reviews, and make sure to click on her website link, for her rates. Yes, sometimes the rates listed on TER may not reflect what is listed in her website. But, I bet you that her rates listed on her website, are more update than what is listed on her reviews. 