Saw the following advise from Dr. John Gray and was wondering how often we hear this from providers.
10 sexual turn offs A man is the most sensitive to criticism or negative feedback during sex, and if a woman does not understand this, she may unintentionally turn him off by saying things like:
• "You're not doing it right." • "I don't like that." • "Ouch! That hurts!" • "Don't touch me like that." • "That tickles." • "Not like that." • "Not yet." • "Not there." • "I'm not ready." • "What are you doing?"
I myself feel that his stereotyping is pop psychology that will be eaten up by his target audience (unenlightened middle aged women), and most of the women I have dated have agreed with me. Now, this may just be because they were strong willed and didn't identify with the generalizations and classifications he used, and I may be inviting some flak from the ladies here (because the women I have known who believed in Gray did so religiously), but books like these just irk me, so forgive me if "Men Are From Mars..." made a difference in the life of anyone who is reading this.
As for the main thread, I agree with another post which suggested a proactive tone to telling a man things during sex. Yes, if something hurts, there is no way to soften a yelp, but you can draw him in after the yelp and ask him to go gently and compliment him on his intensity...just like I do if a woman starts "riding" too fast or hard. Of course, if he is just a banger, then direct him to the Chasey Lain doll at the nearest adult book store.
Fact: John Grey and Barbara DeAngelis were married at one time. Fact: Both are authors of the same type of books Question: Did any of these "empowerment" books help with my relationships? Fact: Well, I am still single (not sure if that is a good thing or bad by reading too many of them lol)
but I will assume that you are asking this seriously.
I like to be shown how to make things work even better. How about "mmmmmmmm that feels nice, mmmm how about trying a little here" or "that's it, now just a little more to the..."
1. Did you shave that thing? 2. Do you ever exercise? 3. Can you show up at the door naked? 4. Stop riding me so hard. 5. Can you leave your clothes on? 6. I'm in a rush so hurry up. 7. Did you come? 8. Are those real? 9. My girlfriend is hotter than you. 10. Tonight, I'm probably going to F my wife.
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