It has happened to me at least several times. If I dont feel that the provider is enjoying themselves on a mental AND physical level it makes it very difficult to well finish the deed. I have found that with repaeted visits to a provider that there was some sort of connection, it just makes for a much more pleasurable experience. I have even gotten personal phone numbers, real names, asked out on dates, freebies for the emotional connection I have had with providers.  So no I wouldnt say your complcated at all. I think your on a higher plane than most. -Joel

I think if you read through the message base you'll discover there are plenty of men who are like this. We like to engage a provider possibly with a couple of emails or calls or perhaps in chat to establish some connection. There are some rare cases where a lady likes to meet over coffee or cocktails before scheduling an appt. to make sure there's some chemistry possible and give it time to build. I think that's a great idea.

I've also found that some ladies make the experience more complete for me if they choose to (and know how to) flirt. Interestingly enough in my experience strippers/dancers seem often to have mastered the flirt component better than many pure providers. I think some providers just wish to get right to the physical part and don't bother to engage the mental. I'm sure that's due in large part to the time constraints but it's also often part of their business model.

No it's never happened to me. I almost had "performance anxiety" once. I was suprised that I seemed to be screwing for a long time without coming. Actually, it was a long time screwing compared to my experiences with my wife, which might be considered as "premature" in retrospect. I have now learned that I can last much longer than I EVER did with my wife of 23 yrs (we haven't been intimate for the last 2 yrs). I don't think it's due to my advancing age because it doesn't tame me any longer to wack off. So I learned to enjoy the more normal "delay", being confident that the equipment will still work in the end.

Yes, intimacy with a woman is important, even when paying for it. I have been fortunate to feel a suprisingly intimate connection in all my "professional" encounters (except for a one-time ripoff), and am further amazed at how I can feel deeply intimate mentally and physically with such a wide variety of hot ladies that I could never "get" in "real" life. It's taught me a lot about how much I should have been able to get out of my marriage but never did.

I tend to be cerebral as I see you are. Assuming you still wake up in the morning with a woody and can pleasure yourself, have confidence in your equipment! Try to just have fun with the hobby and let nature take it's course.

Performance Anxiety...it happens 2 some guys & others never!
Its all between the ears (stress, tension, anxious, nervous).
I hookup with a Provider 1st time and performed like a stud...thought id try for 2nds the next day and couldn't get it up,,,go figure. Don't feel alone. Its embarrassing as hell but
it happens.

I, too need more than just the physical stimulation and seek providers that I can connect with. But sometimes (MP's are great for this) just the thrill of meeting a girl for the first time who you have not been thinking about ahead of time creates such a rush that even without a mental connection you can rely on autopilot to take over. Sometimes we still need to think with our little heads without letting the big one get in the way.

I don't think there is anything wrong with this... after all, our brains are our largest sex organs.  I think lots of times you can get an idea of a lady's personality by reading the text on her website, reading her posts on the boards, shooting her an email, etc. I generally put more thought into sending emails back to people who've put thought into their original emails.. (ie: do you do BBBJTC does not get a thought out response, really.)so if you tell me something about you, you'll often get more back in return.. which does, I think, help start to forget that initial connection.

But does this mean you wouldn't be interested at all in my mysterious stranger fantasy where you walk in and find me blindfolded and lying on the bed...??? We can always talk later

Hugs*
Nicole