At the time I didn't think it was very funny but after an appointment when I had gotten to my car I noticed I had a flat tire I mean it was dead and me standing there in a mini-dress and high heels and a blouse that wasn't meant to bend over and change a tire in. So any way the person I had been visiting didn't stay in the room and had all ready left. So Anybody who I could call I did call and nobody answered so inside I went and the guy behind the front desk is the only one working so he is unable to help in any way, shape or form. The best thing I could come up with was across the street there was an all nude club which seemed to be getting some good business so across the street I go. Now the guy guarding the front door told me that he didn't want to interrupt anyone because they all looked like they were having too much fun (if he only knew how much fun they could really be having I'm thinking) I told him I was more like asking if anyone of the guys who worked here could help, I
wouldn't dream of asking anyone having fun now. As luck would have it 3 men are waling out and were able to help me out they were leaving because they were not impressed and had enough. So they end up helping me out. Found out they were from out of town and the reason why they were there is to kill time while the motor home they were driving from Ca. to Co. was being repaired.
So tire gets changed I gave they guy who did all the work $40.00 for helping me out.  Little did he or I know at the time that the spare tire was not the right fit and I had to drive about 40 on the freeway doing about 25-30 miles per hour or else my car would start to shake as if it were going to come apart. Took me about 2 hours give or take. So there you have it my "funny" thing. Damn what a night.

I once had a fire go off when thing were just getting hot and heavy. We just looked at each other and I decided if I was going to die I was going happy.
Arnold

Popping too fast

Just about my first time at the hobby.

The lady shows up at my hotel room. She's even more gorgeous than her website pictures.Incredible eyes, incredible smile, little tongue kiss on her way in the door. I'm in heaven and incredibly nervous in the same moment.

I've brought a bottle of bubbly, and it's not had time to rest beyond chilling. I barely get my first twist on the basket before the cork SHOOTS across the room. She doesn't miss a heartbeat before winkiing and saying "now, YOU better last longer than that!!!"

I did. More than once. And I go back every chance I can.

Ladies as you know the worst is when a guy doesn't know how to wipe. It seems like 90% have this problem.......

I had an early appt.. He just flew in from Boston. Apparently he had some drinks before hand or on the plane.....the kind with cherries.......

He arrives at my place. We start the massage. I start at his legs ..underneath..then his ass.....

I made the mistake of massaging outwards...I see the shit trail.. but I'm use to that.....

what I'm not use to is seeing a marchinno cherry sticking out of his ass all meshed w/ poo. The worst part ......

the stem, or part of it, is still inside..

Was spending time at an incall where the provider owned a dog. Well, it was funny enough that the pooch would just stand there by the side of the bed watching our activities with tongue protruding and heavy panting, but it was a complete riot when, after having fallen asleep on the floor, the hound cut this huge fart while I was engaging in some delicious DATY. We both cracked up laughing and needless to say, had to start the sensual building process all over again.

i was being a very naughty girl. my doctor called and asked me to cum to his office after hours so i went and we fucked in his office on the desk and on his chair and in the patients rooms. when i was in the stirrups i was hollering out fuck me fuck me now fuck me hard and we heard a slam and it was the cleaning people but they mustve left and then when we got dressed and left and were walking down the hallway we passed them and they were looking at us funny and snickering

I guess mine was when I visited a FKK sauna club abroad, whilst in Germany, not so long ago.

After paying to get in, I went straight to the shower in the bathroom to clean up. Whilst in the middle of washing myself, I heard a knock on the door. At first, I thought it was some young hot lady wanting to join me in the shower. So out of the shower I went, wrapped a towel around myself and opened the door. Lo and behold when I saw what was out there, I literally shit me pants (or should say towel) and had a heart attack. Good job I didn't have a hard-on. For outside peeking in were the German POLICE!! Shoot - what the hell did I get myself into I thought. Apparently I recalled that it was legal for FS here in Germany so why should I be worried.

Well as it turned out, the situation wasn't so bad. They actually only turned up to look into some claim about some worried parents discovering that their 19 year old daughter was working in the club and they wanted to talk to her.

Anyways, after that initial minor scare, the rest of the guys and myself here at the club spent the next hour joking around, ogling the naked girls and knocking back beers with some of the Policemen whilst the rest were wrapping up their search. After they were done, we went back to our business of relaxing and f***ing.

One time I had a daytime appointment and left early in the evening. The hotel wanted to know why I was leaving so early. I told them it was an emergency back home. They asked if I used anything, I told them just the towels and sheets. Should have seen the looks on their faces.

After finally mustering the courage to call a service for the very first time, I spoke to the operator and gave her my number so she could have one of the ladies call me back.

Well about 2 minutes after hanging up the phone rings again.  I take a few deep breaths and pick up in anticipation of setting up a meeting with a beautiful woman.  

Perhaps you can imagine my surprise when the voice on the other line is a male saying "Hello *Mithran*, this is Officer so-and-so of the *my town* Police Department."

I quite nearly expired on the spot.  Amazingly I managed to rally and ask him what this call is regarding (in a surprisingly steady voice).  Turns out it was just a random call and the police in my town were on a fund raising drive to help purchase new textbooks for students.

Life sure has an F*d up sense of humor sometimes.