If I was to get an email like that from a provider I was about to see, I would be more appreciative than anything else. It shows a great deal of honesty and maturity.
Heres what I've been noticing..reviews are getting more descriptive (a good trend) but also pretty hurtful. A review prompted me to pen my thoughts and there seems to be growing number of such reviews. This review happened to be of a big/heavy-set lady. The reviewer discussed the more important elements like her attitude, her skills but went too far with her physical description. It seemed obvious from her pictures that she is not a VS model and so there was no question that he was being mislead. Saying that she was larger in person and hence no chemistry is one thing but passing statements that compared her tummy to the expanse of the North American continent is just plain juvenile. Maybe I'm being sensitive but I think, we as adults should refrain from passing personal remarks about people even tough we paid for blah blah blah. They have feelings too. I think we can convey physical attributes about a person without demeaning them. No ones perfect and I think we should Play nice or not Play at all. PS I'm not trying to attach any one individual here...just expressing my general observation.
I've commented similarly in the past. It seems that there are reviewers out there that mix up looks and performance. I've actually seen reviews to the effect "...well I would give her an 8 for performance. Her BBBJ was incredible, but she had acne as a kid and her skin was so pocked I gave her a 6..." This is just as ridiculous, albeit really not as bad. Under any circumstance there is no reason to be nasty at all.
If the provider in some way misled the reviewer as to her looks, then the reviewer has every right, and I dare say even a responsibility of sorts, to report same. However, to do as you described is petty, juvenile, and repugnant.
has become quite an issue in the biz. It seems more so lately than ever before.
I think what sometimes happens is ladies get comfortable with their pictures and fail to update them. Time passes and after a seemingly short period of time our bodies can change dramatically. It is when a review goes up and describes us to be less than our pics is when we get a wake up call, but by then it is too late...the world has seen the review and a certain amount of damage has been done.
Being one who has been accused of not being accurate in my pics, I have taken alot of advice from the gents who do see me. I have been told I am much better looking than my pics and on the flip side told I look nothing like my pics. I have been the butt of some pretty ugly remarks and unfortunately there is nothing that can be done.
Telling a group of people to play nice in the world of cyber space will fall on deaf ears so to speak. There are many, many, many gents out there who are respectful and still manage to articulate an experience that is less than stellar. But there are those who will take whatever insecurity they have or what they seem to be their Right to insult someone and make it into a review. You can say it is because of the money, and thats all fine and good, but lets not forget the human elemant here.
Thanks for the post hun. Its nice to see some guys out there still have some class.
The Vegas Wench
The annonimity of some reviewers allows them to be as cruel as they wish. Its childish, but a fact none the less.
If the pics are an accurate reprsentation of the provider then to afterwards complain about her size (or anything else physical that is clear in the photo) is childish and spiteful.
It's obvious when you look a some photos and some reviews that the performance has influenced the looks score. A guy may open the door and see, say, a '6' but by the time she's left after giving him the time of his life he sees her as a '9'. It works the other way round too and is usually pretty obvious, IMHO. But it's the guy's opinion when he wrote the review and performance and looks are constantly mixed up.
If a client has not had a good time and/or has not received services he reasonably expected then he has the right to write a poor review. There is no need to resort to personal insults or downright lies. I think this is done purely out of spite.
WOW! Great thread! It is too true that reviewers sometimes try to be funny, and end up sounding childish. I honestly believe that they just have yet to mature and therefore lack the ability to be sensitive. I do however believe that it is needed to mention things like pock marks, if they are not visible in the girls pictures. It just comes down to how a guy relates the problen in his review and his level of maturity.
I agree completely with your post. There is a way to tell the truth without inserting some venom into the review. I laugh to think how things might be if the tables were turned! There is certainly no need to vent bitterness with personal attacks. I would hope that more civility could be shown by all involved.
I really enjoy writing reviews and I enjoy the review process. I take them seriously and used them to make decisions. Wyswyg, your point is well taken, it does seem juvenile to compare a provider's tummy to the North American continent. But, who makes the decision that the reviewer in question crossed the line. What we call juvenile another hobbyist may call honesty!
Like that movie (North Dallas Forty), when the hobbyist call it fun, the providers call it a business, when the hoyyist call it business, the providers say it all in fun.
I think that no matter how we feel and what values we bring to the hobby, there is always going to be the point that if the hobbyist pays his money, he gets to say what he wants--seems to be the basis of our community.
Whoever wrote that needs some lessons in tolerance. If he doesn't like big girls, he doesn't have to date them. But that doesn't give him the right to say hurtful things about the lady.
This thread sure is timely--for me at least. I have a visit scheduled with somebody, and just from his emails I know I'll like him. He's smart, funny, etc. Yet, last night I felt compelled to do the "truth in advertising" thing and this is part of the email I sent to him:
******** Okay, time for truth in advertising. I had a nasty bout of pneumonia recently (I'm fine now, and not at all contagious), during which time I did nothing but lay in bed and eat ice cream. I haven't exercised in a month. The black and white pics are very recent, but they don't show my newly acquired (and hopefully, soon to be lost) Buddha belly. Nor do they show ummmm... how tight my jeans were this morning when it finally hit me that I've put on weight in the last month. Anyway, if you backchanneled about me... ummmm... I'm guessing I'm about 8-10 pounds heavier than what whomever might have described.
I just wanted to be honest... so... if my ummmmm... "more to love" self doesn't suit, I wanted you to know. *******
Today, I was thinking about it, and thought that if I received an email like that from somebody, I would probably think that they were neurotic and had some serious body-image issues (I'm perhaps guilty of the former, but definitely not of the latter...). In short, it would not be the weight that would scare me off, but the indication of psychological problems.
I haven't heard back from this guy, so I don't know how things will turn out, but I'm thinking that this may be a dilemma that more women than just me face.
Ladies? How do you handle this type of thing? Gentlemen? What do you think?
If I was to get an email like that from a provider I was about to see, I would be more appreciative than anything else. It shows a great deal of honesty and maturity.
General observation seems accurate, unfortunatly just a reflection of society. Given the veil of annonimity people tend to say things that are "not so nice" and get away with it. If you cannot say it to their face - keep it to yourself. As to the honest provider, I would welcome an attitude such as yours. The chances of other underhanded deeds seem less likely. Then again, maybe I would be playing into your handJust my .02
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