Hold on, Hold on, Hold on and she was holding on. Maybe I should have said stop due to the sensitivity after the release.

I had a dinner session with a lady who showed me a little...odd behavior.  Not bad, but certainly different.  She seemed to have some very specific desires as the date went along so when we finally made it to my room she gave me some directions.  

She told me that she was going to sit on the desk and I was going to stand in front of her.  Then she would put her feet on my shoulders and I was to hold her legs and bottom.  Then as I entered her she was going to lift her bottom of the desk and support herself with her hands on the desk.  OK.....

She then told me that when she came she'd let me know and that I was to put her down quickly.

Well, I did, and she did, and when she did I, following my directions, promptly dropped her.  She plopped to the floor and was not too happy with me.  

In her instructive way, I thought I'd done as she wanted.  What she had really meant was to set her bottom back on the desk because when she gets the big O her arms might collapse and she was worried she might fall.

She fell all right.  The rest of the evening was even more strange...but that's another story.

Receiving a french lesson.....and had a flatulence problem.

Embarrassing had to do with 'period' stuff, so we won't go there, but let's just say I offered to bleach the sheets. That's one of the most embarrassing things for us ladies anyway, and it was a first time date, too, to make it even worse. So, after that, I won't date if I'm even 'close' in that week. Ok, now the whole world knows..sigh..

Funniest recently - I still laugh thinking about it - was a local fave of mine requested that I wear some CFM's, and I was happy to oblige. I didn't have any, so I ran around town to find a pair. What I SHOULD HAVE DONE, was practice walking in them first! But noooo..I wait until the date, and put them on when I got there, and was falling all over the place! LOL! Real sexy..yeah..So, if you're reading this, sweetie, you can bet that before we get together again, I'm gonna clean house all day in those dang things until I can walk blindfolded and with a glass of water on my head! LOL

Once, as I approached my apex of passion, with the room spinning to a blur, my heart racing like the Indianapolis 500 and my loins searing with the intensity of a Pittsburgh steel mill . . .

I confided, to my dismayed lover, that I had never learned to do the HUSTLE.

Though this admission was long in coming, once delivered, I was immersed in the warm gushes of cathartic bliss. And, I feel it has made me a better person, presently -- though this point is highly debatable.

I've sinced learned to do the HUSTLE, and crave the brilliant sheen of the disco ball. For, as it shimmers in the red, blue and green lights . . . so too does my spirit.

Thanks for listening!