I was wondering how providers feel when a client that is a regular of hers ask for a reference to see another provider and you realize that he is paying the other provider more money than he pays you for the same services? Do you get angry/jealous or annoyed? Are you willing to give the referral or are you more likely not to see him again?
This just sounds petty and unprofessional. If this happens to me, I'd stop seeing her.
My regular is guaranteed at least $1600/month from me visiting every week. If she ups the price, then I know I'm paying more for the same service. The cold hard fact is this: She's not the only game in town. There's no monopoly where they can control the price at a whim.
If she stops seeing me because I've been seeing higher price escorts on the side, she'd get $0/month and someone else will get that $1600/month income from 4 hours of work.
Fortunately she's a smart girl and knows how this business works. If I see a porn star that charges $1500/hr and she uses my regular as a reference, it doesn't mean I won't stop seeing my regular. It's a bucket list thing, I don't plan on making a high end escort my regular. A smart regular wouldn't cause drama, she knows I'll come back to her. It's steady, secure income.
If she stops seeing me? Oh well, see you later. We're not married. This isn't a relationship. I pay for no strings attached.
The buyer controls the market. There's plenty of fishes in the sea gents. 
i did not name myself after damn yogurt ...i am Octavia, not octivia or activia
Glad to be a reference and don't mind if my client sees other people.... If I see the other lady charges more then that's fine... That's her rate and I'm okay with what I charge for now,if I wasn't I would change it...
We each set our donation for particular reasons including: volume of clients, amount of expenses incurred, how much the market will bear, do you tour or not, the list could go on. Ultimately a provider has the freedom to set his/her donation wherever they see fit. This should have no bearing on providing a reference or any feelings one way or the other.
The only way I would feel "annoyed" would be if a potential client haggled me (but then I wouldn't even see that person) and then booked a provider with a much higher donation. Even then, I'd still provide the reference because ultimately it is about safety and protecting one another.
Not giving references isn't the best policy.
i don't think anybody openly refuses to give references out
I dunno, looks like Fancy did just that!
You can be real or pretend, it is a pretend world for most.
-- Modified on 1/3/2016 6:59:35 AM
-- Modified on 1/3/2016 7:01:14 AM
i do feel annoyed and probably even if i see him again, chemistry will be ruined
Does this apply to all of your clients or just your regulars?
Sex workers are not married to hobbyists.Hobbyist have right to do whatever.REFERENCES part screening process.Jealousy ,annyoyed feel runied chemisty....... Sex workers don't want money going to others sex workers.
Heck, just through private messages on this site alone, I have referred at least 5 or 6 nice, over-40 TER members away from my less enthusiastic reference givers.
So I could tie a dollar figure on the amount of business I didn't choose to send their way.
And I always ask my new lady friends who she contacted and what their response was. So I know who is working over time to give me references and who is doing the bare minimum.
I've had regulars see women in the 600-1000 rate. I have no problem as a matter of fact I refer them to other providers if I'm unavailable. The sun shines for everyone why be greedy a provider saying no in my opinion means that she's very insecure of herself. Sorry but it's true. At the end of the day this is business, that man will remember that you did that for him and eventually come back.
i see a lot of ladies, and a few ladies many times.
the regulars i see are happy to give references for me, and in fact the next time we see each other we often discuss who asked for a reference about me and what did the lady say (usually its all good).
and i have no problem back-channeling to other mongers to let them know who i think are good providers and who are worth their donations. that's kind like a customer reference.
the ladies i see are not jealous of each others business, because, bottom line, that's what it is: a business. my regular ladies know i will see them again. if anything, i get jealous of my atf's knowing some other old fart is doing them, when i'm the old fart that they should be pining for lol.
of course i am sure the girls are all fantasizing about me when they do other guys.
of course.
Not very many women, hookers or otherwise are that confident.
I wish all women were that confident and open minded.
It's easy to say here "oh, why would I EVER have a problem with that?"
Many girls in this biz are jealous. You wouldn't believe how rampant it is.
Now I am not talking about jealousy in the civie sense but in the money/business sense.
Some gals feel like they have THEIR guys. They don't want a good paying loyal reg to take his wares up the street to a competitive, and God forbid younger and hotter girl.
It's really a problem when they don't like the other girl as maybe they heard them bad mouth someone or just any other rumor crap they get involved in.
Thankfully my regs today don't pull that shit but some in the past did and wind of it came back to me.
You won't believe the jealousy and the shit some girls get into bcd. Any monger who has been doing this as long as I, and others here, will attest there is some nasty shit with some of the girls.
It's so catty and childish but they have the pussy and we have to play in their sandbox until it becomes such a pia you have to give them the boot.
Financial jealousy is definitely more the inclination than any emotional territorialism. However, curiosity beats all. Is she better looking than lower-priced girls ? More permissive in bed? More aggressively marketed? Lol If she had no signs of being any of those things, I'd wonder and be slightly consternated.lol
But, I think it's common for both guys and girls to wonder what goes into a provider's rates when they are higher
and that is that she charges high rates.
Actually as Jack will be more than happy to tell you, you can't even be certain about that. Many women have a very high "asking rate" during normal times, but come the day before her rent is due and if the phone has not been ringing, you'd be surprised at just how reasonable some of these HDHs can get when the pressure is on.
i have yet to be disappointed when i've ventured into the "elite rate" waters of this hobby.
not one woman i've seen for a higher price has been worth it.
sorry, i meant to imply that i have ALWAYS been disappointed when paying higher prices.
i have yet to NOT be disappointed when paying elite prices.
i should stay away from complex sentences...
...it's not a high school cafeteria table full of mean girls trying to top each other.
a lady charges what she's comfortable with... what the market can bear, what makes her a profit after her expenses, what thresh hold is high enough to keep the creeps away but low enough to get enough clients to make it worth while.
most ladies i talk to about this are happy to share info about clients for the safety of fellow providers... only once (and it was many many years ago) did a lady i saw make a remark about the higher price of another asking for a reference for me. (and she was right; i had already negotiated a lower fee than the woman's sky-high posted ask).
i hate to burst your bubble, pal, but the women aren't that in to you. nobody's getting jealous because you see someone else for another price.
Providers need to give references just for safety reasons alone. We set our own donations, so if a provider is that catty she should get run out of the business.
I don't think that anyone engaging in this activity would be simple minded enough to think that these ladies are in love with us.Lol We wouldn't be paying them if that was the case. I would tend to agree with Jack. While I think Fancy and Roxanne and other ladies are being honest on the subject, there are just as many that will not post their honest feelings on the subject. I do think that it is wise for women to give out references for safety reasons. On the other hand, I do think that many get upset when they realize that they are getting paid less to suck the dick that they have been sucking for the last few months and now this guy wants a reference so he can go and pay another chick to do this for twice that amount. I once had a regular provider tell me that I was visiting another lady more than I was seeing her. I don't know how she knew this but she was correct. She joked about it but I could tell that it bothered her. I know I would be highly upset if I found out that a lady was posting a certain price on her ads but was charging me double for the same service that she was providing to others at a lower price. I certainly would not continue to see this lady and I know a lot of guys get upset if they are charged as little $20 more than the previous guy. So it goes both ways!
I'm the one who decided to charge $XXX. Why on earth would I be angry that he'd pay my rate? Is he supposed to pay me $3000/hour just because, once, he saw a porn star for that amount?
If he's always haggling with me over my rates, though, that's a slightly different story. I wouldn't be irritated that he's paying the other girl more, but I'd definitely be extremely irritated if he continued to try to negotiate with me.
I never mind giving references. It's a professional courtesy. Clients "cheat" on me all of the time. Sometimes they come back to see me, sometimes they don't.
But personally i dont mind giving references at all. Im still fairly new to this environment but everyone has a plethora of desired tastes. If a previous client wanted a reference for someone else, there shouldn't be any emotional attachments involved. How could a provider maintain NSA professionalism if they get all worked up every time one of their clients deciedes they want to try strawberry this time vs chocolate. I think if one declined to give references it would make guys less likely to see them again anyways..
for a provider whose rates are higher or lower than mine.
I provide many references to providers all over the us whose rates have been doubled sometimes triple my rate.
There is no reason for me to be annoyed if the providers rates are higher most of the time I don't even know the provider's rate who is contacting me.As long as she is a legit provider I will give the reference.
The only time I am annoyed is when I don't receive a thank you for providing a reference from the provider but hey...not everyone has manners but I still provide the reference.
It is about safety although I do find having alternative methods can also solve a bit of bs that sometimes occurs with the reference system.
Seeing different type of ladies is what this is all about.No strings and no drama.
Just my .02
-- Modified on 1/4/2016 5:27:13 AM
This is a good question. I have never asked the ladies that I see regularly for a reference. It would be interesting to see what would happen if I did. I guess I will have to try it and see what type of response I get.Lol
I provide many references to providers all over the us whose rates have been doubled sometimes triple my rate.
There is no reason for me to be annoyed if the providers rates are higher most of the time I don't even know the provider's rate who is contacting me.As long as she is a legit provider I will give the reference.
The only time I am annoyed is when I don't receive a thank you for providing a reference from the provider but hey...not everyone has manners but I still provide the reference.
It is about safety although I do find having alternative methods can also solve a bit of bs that sometimes occurs with the reference system.
Seeing different type of ladies is what this is all about.No strings and no drama.
Just my .02
-- Modified on 1/4/2016 5:27:13 AM