None of the women I have ever met have had this policy, that I am aware. I have seen this written on a few websites, but they were not girls I would have seen for other reasons and again, it was very few. . Are you saying this is widespread or are you talking about just a few providers here and there? There has always been a handful of women who have policies outside the norm on a number of different things in this lifestyle. Are you sure that that just isn't the case with this one?
On another board (that no longer exists) a provider (I would always see her for a 3 hour appointment) had a fit that I would use her for a reference to see a provider that was more expensive. Another provider called her out saying she was not my wife lol.
Another time I didn't realize that 2 providers were in a relationship and had a bad breakup. When I asked for the reference major drama.
You would need to give a bit more info. I have no issues at all giving a reference, but I do ask that you tell me who you are seeing so I know who will be contacting me. This is to protect your information, I don't want to be giving our info to a disgruntled wife/gf. Also if I have seen you only once and it was years ago unlikely I am going to even remember you, so rather a moot point. It is also seen as a bit uncouth for you to ask a provider you have only seen once to give 5 or 6 references for you. (Yes, I have had this happen!!) I do not charge, but you really should limit the reference requests to one, maybe two, depending on how many times you have seen the provider.
I am very much a repeater so it said provider does not give a reference will cost her in the long run. Feel in our smaller market here many know each other by reputation or face to face and there is a group that they trust. Would never use a reference more then twice without a repeat Never had an issue but if did with provider would not be seeing her again.
I certainly don't mind giving references. In fact I've met some wonderful women, and a few of my good friends,by such means of mutual introduction. I'm always pleased to see that my gentleman have great taste!
However, I do find it strange when I receive a request out of the blue asking me to vouch for a man who I haven't seen in *years*, and from a lady who offers no clues as to her authenticity or web presence. Those requests raise red flags - perhaps they're just harmlessly rude, or perhaps they're coming from a snooping spouse who is unaware of the etiquette of this lifestyle. either way, I want nothing to do with that. Depending on the day, I may reach out to the man in question to let him know that someone is asking about him,or just let it fall flat. So, if you'd like a reference, I consider it polite to contact a lady before handing out her information... Just like one would do for a job or housing reference. Normal common courtesy,as I see it. ~Mme X~
Many providers would not give a reference to an agency for fear of losing clients to them.
Agencies were then referred to as the enemy by many independents. That is no longer a problem today as we network with many providers for everyone's safety.
and then expect to use her for a reference. I will generally see a provider at least three times before asking her to vouch for me with a new provider. I also hold up an extra tip before I leave and ask her if this will cover her TIME for giving me a reference within the next 30 days if I refer another girl to her that I want to see. If she says "yes", I hand it to her, if she says "no" I put it back in my pocket.
As a provider who has never required references I have gave them & it always takes time from my day to verify the provider is legit. I had two this year contact me for a reference & I whitelisted the gents, but unfortunately they don’t pay for VIP. I think the problem is people expect references it’s not mandatory.
The only references I care about are the providers I met personally & have my direct phone #. I have always let people bypass my screening if my personal friends can vouch for you. I appreciate people who realize the fun fact that providers are not required to share information. The references I provided this year to providers who felt entitled & were rude is why I am no longer going out of my way to help those who can’t do their own homework by verifying without someone’s free help. Sending a token of appreciation is always a great idea. 💡
I will give a reference after a single visit however I will clearly state that I only saw that client once. Typically my references are an indication of my individual experience with a client as opposed to an endorsement per se, with the exception being a well loved regular.
When requesting a reference I always introduce myself and include a link to my website. I make a point of mentioning that my home page has links to my reviews and ads so the recipient is able to verify my legitimacy.
If I get a request from someone who doesn’t include information I can verify, I will ask them to provide same. I also check the provider information given to me from the client and confirm the email and phone matches their site and/or ads. Just can’t be too careful.
This is not true. We don't give references to agencies or accept references from agencies usually because of the risk. Agencies are big fish who are much more likely to be targeted by LE, have MANY people who have access to the databases (thus increasing risk of data breach), and generally have sloppier record keeping and screening protocols.
I'm happy to give out a reference but ive seen someone once but if i'm getting a dozen reference requests in the span of a month, it's a disregard of my time and labor (bc they rarely ask to use me as a reference before doing this). Additionally, if i havent seen someone in years, how can i testify to their current behavior and character? While I'll always go out of my way to ensure other provider's safety, there IS an etiquette when it comes to asking for references.
Agencies get busted by LE much LESS frequently than individual providers where I live. It's because the agencies have a reputational interest in keeping BOTH the customer AND the provider safe during the whole booking and delivery process. An agency without a stellar reputation for diligence and safety does not last long. Indie providers only have to look out for themselves.
Because in most areas I'm familiar with, including the NY area, LE rarely goes after Indies and generally targets agencies. Because agencies are easier to bust over issues like trafficking and money laundering. Also, instead of busting a single person they are usually busting several from management as well as a few working girls.
It's always amusing to me when customers KNOW that providers charge for their TIME during a session, but then they expect them to respond to a reference request, which involves more TIME, as a favor.
in SoCal, when an agency gets busted and a customer is involved, the agency if finished. OTOH, I know many indie providers who have been busted and they continue to work but are more careful in the future. Accordingly, the screening is much tougher with our agencies than with indies. If there are no customers involved in the bust, the agency can change locations and continue, but they will still suffer a loss of some customers who will be spooked by the bust, and word gets around pretty fast which agency and which incall location was involved.
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