There are alot of problems the reference system. From what I have seen the reference system seems to be a special club. There are providers who will only accept date-check. Others who will on accept rs2000. But they won't go across boundary lines to accept the other verification service. One of the services provides a kickback to providers, which explains the problems. Then there is not safety guarantee of reference information to a provider. I have seen providers actually request for a client's drivers license on their website, that is taboo.
Then you have the problems where providers won't accept another provider reference because that provider is not "Well known" on a particular website/message board. Others give the same reason for not accepting remote references.
It takes alot of effort to become a member of a verification service and to give out reference information to a provider that you have not seen. From what I have gone through personally with the problems above, silly cliqueness is a deal killer for me.
On the other major site, there have been major security breaches of people personal information. Multiple clients have had their personal information emailed around to be harrarsed. Even providers have been harrarsed. This is an abuse of the information from the reference system. Even the information in the private message boards for providers has leaked out. People don't know if it from a provider or from a hacker.
If you scan groups.google.com for passwords, you can see how hackers are trying to get cracks and passwords to message boards. I would not be suprised if they are hacking into provider websites. Implementing security on websites is not a trival task and should not be taken lightly.
Then there is the LE aspect. If a providers computer gets taken be LE, LE will have your work number and everything else.
I have resorted to only seeing providers that use the verification service that I use or don't require to much personal information. If a provider has any common sense they should be able to look up a potential clients reviews and contact the reference the client gives and leave it at that.
I have always given referrals to other providers/agencies. I sometimes ask for them myself. Maybe half the providers/agencies contacted will reply. The other half simply will not. Here's what kills me, some of the providers I have given referrals to will not return the favor. They won't even call back and no e-mail reply.
Isn't the reason we ask for referrals is to stay safe?
If you ask for referrals, please be ready to give them as well. It's about safety not $.
Sincerely, Alyssa(Long Island)
-- Modified on 11/30/2003 1:26:20 PM
There are alot of problems the reference system. From what I have seen the reference system seems to be a special club. There are providers who will only accept date-check. Others who will on accept rs2000. But they won't go across boundary lines to accept the other verification service. One of the services provides a kickback to providers, which explains the problems. Then there is not safety guarantee of reference information to a provider. I have seen providers actually request for a client's drivers license on their website, that is taboo.
Then you have the problems where providers won't accept another provider reference because that provider is not "Well known" on a particular website/message board. Others give the same reason for not accepting remote references.
It takes alot of effort to become a member of a verification service and to give out reference information to a provider that you have not seen. From what I have gone through personally with the problems above, silly cliqueness is a deal killer for me.
On the other major site, there have been major security breaches of people personal information. Multiple clients have had their personal information emailed around to be harrarsed. Even providers have been harrarsed. This is an abuse of the information from the reference system. Even the information in the private message boards for providers has leaked out. People don't know if it from a provider or from a hacker.
If you scan groups.google.com for passwords, you can see how hackers are trying to get cracks and passwords to message boards. I would not be suprised if they are hacking into provider websites. Implementing security on websites is not a trival task and should not be taken lightly.
Then there is the LE aspect. If a providers computer gets taken be LE, LE will have your work number and everything else.
I have resorted to only seeing providers that use the verification service that I use or don't require to much personal information. If a provider has any common sense they should be able to look up a potential clients reviews and contact the reference the client gives and leave it at that.
is getting a guy to admit to writing reviews on TER. When he fills out my verification form, which does ask if he is a member of this board or the OtheRBoard, that part is always blank. I am not into harressing any gentleman to find out if he has done reviews (to be honest, it would make verification much easier, like you stated). How do you go by getting a handle of a reviewer ? Most men do not want to give it out, so that is why I do have a very thorough verification form, which must be filled out. If he just writes as a handle: Oh, I a joeschmo, and I have seen provider A. I would be HAPPYYYYY to check his reviews, and speak directly with that girl, than for him to fill out my entire form.
-- Modified on 11/30/2003 2:28:47 PM
I'll tell you who I am if you ask nicely 
that you told me about the home life lol I hope that you are well (shhhhhhhh..keep my identity a secret, if you pick up on who I am)
Well I've got dozens of 'em and if you're who I think you are I'll probably be telling you more of my follies at home in a short while. That is if you'll have me again, or do me again, just NO pain. Not that you would.
I'm very discreet, no worries in keeping you ID secret with me.
-- Modified on 12/1/2003 2:39:43 PM
You can still give a referral without giving someones info. I would never give up someones personal info. All I care to know is that this client is ok. Personal info is never exchanged.
-- Modified on 11/30/2003 3:18:21 PM
I do give out referrals and to each lady that contacts me, I have no problem in giving them out. I hate it when I don't get one back that I have asked for.
We need to work together, no against each other.
Shaye
20 years ago I first saw a woman who I still see when she is in town. However, on three occasion she considered quitting or moving. Each time she referred me to someone else.
The first one was nice but she also married and retired within a year.
The next woman was exceptional. She was gorgeous, could and would do virtually, anything with enthusiasm and skill, and when she retired a few years ago still only charged $150. When she retired, she referred me to another younger girl who is also gorgeous, only "provides" very rarely, but lacks the enthusiasm or range of the lady who referred her. But the price is the same.
The third time she referred me to someone who I didn't really like. However, I stayed in touch with her, and she recently referred me to another girl who is great - very pretty, nice place, geographically convenient, enthusiastic, and into all the stuff I am. Unfortunately, at $200, she is expensive. (Ha!)
The original woman, who I see when she is in town, recently met me at the condo of a friend who is also a provider. She is also gorgeous, and woman #1 raised the possibility of a threesome. We will see.
Same thing with another woman I met over 15 years ago. She introduced me to three other women, always via threesomes. One was a dud for me and I gave her up after a couple of visits. But the other two were great. One, a gorgeous little Asian woman who makes a lot of money at her real job, no longer sees any one else professionally, but lives a ways away and has limited hours. She just sees me for the sex as far as I can tell. I once forgot to pay her and she didn't even notice until I brought it up the next time. She recently developed a romantic relationship that may spell the end of ours, though.
The third woman, a late-30s lady with huge natural breasts, has run hot and cold about providing and has other sources of income. She has "quit" three times now, but we still get together. I see her when she is horny and calls me up. On a couple of occasions I haven't had her full donation ($180) and she didn't care. She has had boy and girlfriends but even with them in picture asks me to come over because I get her off so well. It's very flattering.
What all these women have in common, besides low admission fees, is no web presence. They are all certainly attractive enough to draw plenty of business by showing themselves, and except for the two duds, are prettier than most women on the web. They use referrals for new business, in some cases even paying for them. This allows them some comfort with the guys they see, at the minimum knowing they aren't LE or dangerous freaks and often things like looks and preferences. They generally meet each other through clients. The ones who want to do it full time seem to be able to get all the business they want, despite no web ads or TER reviews.
And, no, I can't refer you if I don't know you.
NYJewels,
Unfotunately what we positive things we practice towards others is often not returned. And for one who has the requirement of references built into her screening process, I can see where this lack of response would be maddening. Remember though that some of the ladies are out of town. And on the positive side of the ledger, I have been given referrals almost as immediately as I've asked for them, because certain ladies answer THOSE referral request emails first! Still, oft human nature does not bother to give or give back unless they are being observed, or unless they think they will receive immediate gratification. Remember the thread by Carrie of London not long ago? I don't know how to link to it, but you can do a search...she referenced a certain level of rudeness from certain US providers.
If you are an independent, I find it interesting that agencies would give up a reference to you. (I don't consider roomservice an agency, btw) The experience I did have asking for a reference from a certain NYC pornstar agency was very negative and I came away feeling that they must have thought that independents are the competition. It's not necessary to go into detail.
Other than that, in my limited experience of exchanging references, and since I really don't ask for them unless that is all the client wants to offer, I've found the independent ladies and the porn ladies to be great in releasing a yay or nay (and that's about all the details we want anyway). But since I myself don't require references, it's not a huge deal to me to receive reciprocation.
It IS necessary on some level to know the CHARACTER of the individual with whom I am booking a date. I could hardly care about the name, unless of course it's a reviewer's handle from which might (but not always)be useful in gleaning his attitude towards the ladies he sees.
XoXo
Felicia
-- Modified on 12/1/2003 11:58:29 AM