When a provider compliments you, do you tend to believe it, disbelieve it, or weigh the evidence as best you can?

I'm not talking about an ATF who you've known for years and is more along the lines of a personal friend.  i'm talking about a provider you may be seeing for the 1st time, or have seen only a few times in the past.

Hey, i wanna belive good things about myself. But i'm realistic ennough [or cynical enough] to realize that when someone compliments me, and it's the type of compliment that both of us know that I want to hear,  the sincerity of the person offering the ompliment might not be pefectly aboveboard.  At worst, a white lie?

Or does this fall under the category of over-analyzing this carnal Kabuki theatre?  I've gotten lots of compliments from providers, all of which i've enjoyed but few of which i've believed. Hey, if even half of it was true, why haven't the civvie women tumbled to me in droves? [LOL]

An earlier post re honesty in the hobby jogged my memory re this question.

lady uses the same phrase as another lady did.  Maybe they have a dictionary of phrases they use?

I just think if they will see me again that is the biggest compliment they can give me.

Although it would be nice if they could use my name once and awhile.  What do you think about that?  After about 6 months of hobbying I looked at my birth certificate to see if maybe my middle name was Baby or Sweetie.  LOL

It is when she DOESN'T say anything is when I would worry

Good question. As a former high school teacher, I've been exposed to more lies from more people than anyone this side of a criminal court judge and have gotten pretty good at sorting them out. It bothers me when a lady feels like she needs to lie to me in order for me to have a good time. I know how big my pecker is- after all, it IS mine!

As with any theater, the better actors get so deep into character that the real person informs the character and vice-versa. Bad actors are just mouthing lines, good actors find some way of really believing them.

I once had a provider who is very sweet work a little too hard at the compliments and it jsut made me kind of uncomfortable, then while we were really having fun, she was holding my upper arms and said. "You have really nice arms". Best compliment ai got that day because it was totally honest- not even accompanied with the obligatory Sweetie.

Of course, some people are in this hobby purely for the money or physical gratification and honest dialog couldn't matter less to them. There's nothing wrong with that approach, it just doesn't appeal to me.

FWIW, my all time fave compliment was "You sweat less than any other fat guy I've known."

One of the things I learned while finding my partner in Ghana is how many men are absolutely clueless about the fact that a woman is a human being first and a fuck-box seventh or eighth.  I suspect that the gentlemen on this board collectively stand three or four cuts above the clientele that the average sex worker has to deal with.  So it is not surprising to me that we all get more than our fair share of complements.  You would be amazed how many women I contacted fell fast and hard because I treated them as human beings with meaningful agendas for their own lives.  I think most of the fellows here think more like me than the average bear.

That suddenly reminds me : I once told a provider who i really, really liked [one, who if I had met her as a civie, I would be thinking SO material], that she had really nice armpits.  I was sincere, and I was complimenting, however clumsily, her great muscle tone.  As soon as I said it we just looked at each other blankly, we realized how stupid my comment was, and laughed until we had headaches.

BTW, a really graet session as well.

Thoughtful post.  My ability to believe is based on my experience, their vocabulary, spontaneity, and physical response.  If I'm doing DATY that pleases them, I always ask if they want to come again.  If it's an enthusiastic YES! I consider that a genuine compliment.  If they compliment on my equipment, the words handsome or beautiful mean more to me than great cock.  If they say something like I want you inside of me NOW! that means more to me than let's fuck.  One of my ATF's on our first date asked me if I was a doctor because I was DATYing including fingers.  When I asked her why? she said because you're touching me in all the right ways and places.

If you have a provider who says she loves you, do you believe it?   I do.   But only from a long-time ATF.   The other compliments, certainly those on my sexual prowess, I take as bs.

up to me.

Of course I have the biggest dick you have ever seen, I am the best lover you have ever had, and I lick pussy better than anyone you have ever met!

Why not belive it...what is the harm...if we are going for fantasy, we may as well have a good fantasy.

I last longer than anyone else, I find the G-Spot every time, and I kiss like a God!

Live the Fantasy!

Time to whip out the tape ruler, bro!

Why do we hobby?  Just to get our nut off?  I am there for the experience.  If she says things that are sweet and playful, then by all means, let them keep coming.  All women know how to work us, and if they don't, there are plenty more out there that will.

I enjoy some playful banter while shagging.  I love it that they say I'm good-looking, tall, hung and thick (which I get a lot from midget spinners), hard as diamond, great kisser, etc.  Just like terrev wrote, I do last longer, get hornier, fucker harder and deeper, cum stronger.  If I wanted something else less erotic, I'd just as quickly call my ex's sister for a friendly fuck.

It's a real spectrum.  Here's my take:

In general, I think a provider who compliments the client on the type of person he is is being sincere.  In my experience, providers care far less about how big his dick is or what kind of lover he is than what kind of person he is -- is he kind? Is he clean? Does he treat her like a gentleman?  If she compliments on that, then it's a sincere compliment.

The shading has to do with how deep the compliment goes.  It could be simply a courtesy -- thanks for being a decent guy, and no more significant than your dentist saying, "Thanks for coming in for cleanings twice a year.  We really appreciate patients who take our advice, and we really like you."

Additionally, some, but by no means all, providers, live very much in the moment.  They can say something very sincerely but there won't be much in the way of follow-through.  For example, a provider recently told me, after a session, that I wasn't the typical client, and she enthusiastically discussed starting an email correspondence.  I sent her an email and heard nothing from her.

The issue of going beyond pleasantries and courtesies and into the realm of whether she "likes" you or not could take up another thread.  If you want my take on that, then either pm me or put up another post.

I had a long-term dalliance with a provider that involved several overnights and trips, over a six-month period.  She did not use my name once.  It was always,  Hey, You.  That was one of the reasons I ended it.

As gullible as I can be, the two that stand out were e-mails that I received several days after the meeting.  They both mentioned a specific thing that I said/did and said "...you are so sweet...".
Granted, "sweet" isn't on par with "You've got the biggest cock I've ever SEEN!", but I'll take it.

I sure hope so!
Yes there are many men that think like you...I have been having the time of my life meeting them

Turk, no offense intended, but it took you six months to realize she didn't know your name?  Not sure if i would have waited that long.  How many times did you see her?  I mean, you're not exactly a newb on here.

Keep on hobbyin'
Swim

Generally, I take it all with a grain of salt till it has been proved or disproved.  If she compliments the size of your member, disbelieve it.  If she brings the Magnums to the next session, believe it.

I'm afraid I think all compliments from providers should be taken that way.

... Girls can't talk with their mouths full, and I leave as soon as I'm finished with business...

I'm a provider who seldom comments and have never been to this board before.

My job is to make you feel like a stud and like I am having the time of my life. Yes it is my job and I treat clients differently than dates in that making them feel like a stud is more important than being genuine about who I am, what I like and don't like, whether or not I think a joke is funny  and all that.  But part of the reason I am a provider is because I like men and sex and so unless you are a complete dud I can almost always find something to compliment with sincerity.  

At the same time I am careful about complimenting clients too much or doing my job too well. Why? Because if we go too far the next thing we hear is can I have a discount? Or even worse you should be paying me.

At least eight dancers at a local strip club must have told me that in a span of 3 months.  Coincidence?  I think not.  I think somebody advises them to suck up to customers with b.s. like "You know who you remind me of?  George Clooney/ Brad Pitt" etc.  It gets kind of silly after the first time.

Sincerely yours, Tom Cruise

Mee too, but i've felt for a long time that when a woman describes a man as being "sweet" or "nice" or "tender" or "gentle" [which i've heard many times, sigh] or even "funny" [my best quality] it's the equvalemt of men saying "she's got a great personality."

-- Modified on 4/15/2007 12:40:35 AM

I long ago gave up any notion of ladies (especially ones half my age) thinking of me as "hot".  I'm middle aged, balding, overweight, and average by most other yardsticks.  If I can get a sincere sweet, nice, tender, or even funny, it counts in the win column, LOL
After all, being a nice guy is pretty much all I've got going for me other than a pocket full of Franklins.

I get stuff like that a lot, too. But it's, "You remind me of Larry "Bud" Melman".

I think the "Are you a doctor?" line was popular for a while.  I've heard it more than once.

If you really want to compare....You take yours out and I will take out enough to beat you...lol!

That was a line by Milton Berle used on Howard Stern on his old TV show...way back in the 1990's.

i agree with Jamie. i really loathe lying, so if i genuinely dislike a client and don't have anything nice to say about him, i'll just say nothing.

Inevitably followed by, "what did you say was your name again, sugar/sweetie/honey/doll?"

The one provider Dante depicts in Hell is found in one of the concentric circular ditches of the eighth circle, the circle of the fraudulent.  Her ditch is that of the flatterers.  To Dante flattery would seem to have been a far greater sin than indiscriminate schtupping, which gets punished only in the second circle (barely deeper into Hell than Limbo, where virtuous pagans face no real punishment at all).

But to hell with Dante.  A provider who does this part of the job well--and wormwood's actor comparison is spot on here--makes the experience more enjoyable, even though the wise client bears in mind that it is indeed flattery and part of the fantasy performance.

...just because it contradicts what Mrs. Luethor says about me.

Well I usually still like his penis.I had this guy in NY who was such an asshole but I had to see if he could at least fuck. He fucked me like a jack hammer and I couldn't stop smiling for three days. I think he thought I wouldn't like it. I never think of insincere compliments for men.
During a session is when a girl can freely give compliments to a man and he doesn't take her for granted like with her SO. I like to tell men the ways they thrill me but non-hobbyists seem to be ruined by this.
I have only told women that they looked okay and lied.

the messages were all deleted from not logging in.
It took the guy a while to catch back up with me.
Maybe she was a stripper escorting on the side and  the club life kicks in and she just forgot her own email address.It gets really wild out here.

This thing with sweetie and honey. That's because it is still sex. Women imprint the guys name in her mind if the sex is really good. The person's name could slip out even years later during an intense orgasm.
That's how you know she's fucking someone else and can't let the wrong name slip out when she's coming. You only use his name in a sexual situation if he's the ONLY one.I have to hold my breath. No telling who I might yell out.LOL