TER General Board

Re:Does a provider mind giving a reference to another provider?
absolutedetail 9 Reviews 4220 reads
posted

The hobbiest could be traveling and he needs a reference from the prior city provider.

bagel4637 reads

Not having seen a thread on this before I often wonder what a provider thinks of when called to verify that she saw a hobbyist as a reference to another provider. Is there jealousy or is it just taken for granted that men like variety? Is it wondered why if a client is completely satisfied why he doesn't remain with that provider. While there are obviously many men who are "faithful" to a provider, I think the majority believe that variety is the spice of life. Isn't that what men do? Any thoughts to this "deep" question.

The hobbiest could be traveling and he needs a reference from the prior city provider.

My impression from the few I have seen and the ones I have spoken with is that most independent providers don't mind giving references.  Especially if they use them in their process.

However, my experience is limited to providers I have only seen once.  I expect that if you were a regular with someone there might be more feelings involved.  Not so much jealousy as fear of competition.

You really should get some responses from providers on this, but for what its worth, it all depends on the provider.

This thread has been talked about by many, some very recently.  Most providers do not mind giving references.  There are some however, when asked to give a reference will get the jealousy bug.  Personally I only use very few reliable providers that I have seen multiple times for references and have never had a problem.  But you must understand, the reliability factor goes both for hobbiest and provider.

-raptor

Jill Morgan4258 reads

...and like to help everyone stay safe. Jealous? Not at all.

Same here.  I will always give a reference when asked.

fortitude3810 reads

As long as you are clean and gentlemanly, and pose no threat, there is no reason that a provider should deny you a reference.  Especially if that provider has asked for a reference.  They completely understand the process.

If you're concerned, you may want to check out a site called Date-Check, which is a referral service that can help with this.

I agree with Jill. I am always happy to give references. Also, I have had wonderful and friendly responses from the ladies I contact for references. Most of us here enjoy variety. References help the gents find variety and have fun. References help the ladies stay safe, find variety, and... have fun!
And gents, it is a big help if you give hints to help jog the memory when listing me as a reference. I am sooooo bad with names and I never save email addies or phone numbers. Just keep the hints generic and G-rated, PLEASE!
Now have fun, dammit!

lil DebbieAZ3223 reads

and there's never any jealousy because I know they'll eventually come back to see me again anyway:) I also am very glad to know that the ladies in my city are watching out for themselves and are being safe about the whole thing. We can never be too careful and hope you guys understand why we check references.

Anais_nin1855 reads

I don't mind giving out verifications for gentleman as I like to look out for my fellow sisters :)
I do however get a bit of a kick out of guys who set up an appointment, confirm, and then I see a special going on by another local lady for the day and he cancels due to work related issues, a few emails later the lady running the special is asking for a referral on the dude who just cancelled, so being lady like, you say yes, he's ok and then the day of the appointment, the lady thanks you for the referral and he was ok as I said and then the next email is from the guy saying that his cold isn't doing so well and he's really sorry that he had to miss out on seeing me and can't wait to reschedule.  
I mean, c'mon guys...if you are bargin hunters, then so be it and just be tactful and honest, but to think that us girls don't actually check out verifications and talk to each other is absurd.  Variety is the spice of life and I have no problems with that, in fact sometimes I like sending my regulars off for an adventure :), however lying does not go over well in my book and I tend to lose respect for a man with no balls.

sexxygirrl3790 reads

I think most of us ladies realize you guys like variety from time to time, so it never comes as a surprise when even a long term regular wants to try out someone else. I give references promptly.

I think jealousy may come into play when certain guys (trying to be nice or score points?) tell us we're their ATF, and then when they run off to see someone else, that does hurt a bit. But we get over it.

Now let me get on my soapbox and say that I resent ladies who refuse to give references when asked. I always think of us ladies as being a community, trying to help each other out, and safety and verification should be at the top of the list.

I've seen ladies say they won't respond to a reference request because they think it's an LE sting. I think if you live in an area where you know each other and LE isn't much of a factor, that should not be a problem.

Others say if they acknowledge they "know" someone, it's an admission of an illegal activity with that person. I don't understand that one at all.

Most reference emails are simple "Yes, I met John Doe and would recommend him to anyone else." That's so vague---how could LE pin that down to mean a paying client? I could be talking about my doctor, my financial advisor, my plumber.

And then there are the lazy ladies, who just can't be bothered to answer their email about references--very frustrating and says a lot about their character.

I tend to refer a lot of nice ladies to my clients, knowing they like variety, but I won't refer him to one who isn't supportive of her fellow ladies.

Arizona Angel5300 reads

I certainly would never object to giving a reference to another provider. We all should try to take care of each other and make sure the other girls are safe. I will give a negative review of a client where one is warranted. But for a client to use you as a reference should be a looked upon more highly. I think it says something about the session you had together, Obviusly you had a good time together and there were no major issues otherwise they would hopefully not be using you as a reference. I also know that variety is the spice of life... why wouldn't a man want to see other women... heck I would if I where a guy... actually I think all providers prove that on a regular basis from the women's side...LOL GUYS!! Use references more often. It makes everyones life easier.

Tatoogirl743193 reads

variety is the spice of life~

Shaye

I would hope to get the same in return. But, we are all differant and run our business differantly. So to each thier own my dear.

There have been threads on this issue on many different boards in the past.  As expected the providers who do not have problems giving or accepting references have posted replies to your question.  I doubt that the ones who do get jealous are likely to admit it on a discussion board thread.

I agree with Rick that the true answer is that some do get jealous and other do not.  Whether the jealousy when it occurs is related to a loss of revenue or something else is another discussion.

gypsi3491 reads

i must be in the wrong place...i give out reccomendations all the time...i find most of the gurls very protective and competetie and meow here in canada

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