I'd like to know how those in the hobby feel about giving out their name and number for screening purposes. Don't get me wrong providers, I certainly understand why it's needed, and if I was in your shoes I'd screen too. I would just like to know if this has come back to bite any of the guys in the proverbial ass. I know there are lots of providers who don't require all this info and others who do. As a professonal with a family and active in the community, I would just hate to have my name in any type of Heide Fleiss(sp?) type black book.

Reiscretion

Obviosly your family and future have to be considere when deciding if you want to give out that information but it is for the providers safety. The fact that certain women do screen makes me feel better about seeing them. Plus once you subject yourself to the screening they know that you are serious and just window shopping.

If it's your future with your family you are concerned about thank about what you are doing. It has it's risks. Have fun and good luck.

Reiscretion

I've been doing this for a long time now, and have never had any problems from giving such information to a provider that has a presence on this board, and most others.  I have also found that after you have met with some of these providers, especially ones that are fairly well-known, they may be used as a reference in lieu of many of these personal questions.  But not always.  You just need to pick providers who you feel will not abuse the information you porovide, and, as said above, there are very many of them.  Good Luck!

F.

I'm okay giving my name and phone number but I've noticed a number of providers (particular touring ones, at least those that are coming thru LA) asking for a reference from another provider.  Is this weird to anyone else or is my newness to this hobby showing?

There has to be a certain amount of trust in the relationship.  If the screening allows the lady to feel more relaxed, that's definately a good thing.

Besides, if I trust her hands on my "family jewels," I'd certainly trust her with my phone number.  

I'm also not sure how many of the ladies keeps a "little black book."  Ladies?

Pretty much the norm. I like to have two Provider references.

xo
Sedona

It's pretty much ALL I go by. Forget everything else. I want to hear from the ladies that you've been a gentleman.

I rarely see a new friend under any other circumstances.  I refer back all the time!

No, we don't give up Juicy Details. Merely  a "Yes, I'd date him again." or "No, I don't recall dating that person."

*smooch*

Elise

Many known providers, especially those that travel, will ask for the name of one or two providers you may have seen that will vouch for the fact that you are a gentleman, and in no way a threat to their safety.  This done, it's relatively easy to make a date.  I have about 6 or 7 procviders in different geographical areas that I use from time to time to vouch for me, and as yet have not been turned down by any new provider I've elected to visit with.

Ladies, correct me if I am wrong here, but if a provider has a web presence, and good reviews on a board like TER, and/or contributes to the dialogs on this Board, then I believe they are a candidate to act as a reference for you with other providers.

There are also referral services, like Room Service 2000 that many providers use to verify potential clients.  This is a fee site, you pay for a listing, and you essentially give them the same information you give an individual provider.  The problem with this, in my opinion, is that they have to retain the data (and not purge it) and that could lead to problems re LE, etc.  I elected not to join.

Reiscretion and Jerry Springer!

I strongly believe asking for identification/business card/work number is highly inappropriate ...  there has been numerous cases of these types of information finding itself into press.

One example was when Jerry Springer ran for mayoral race I think  in Cincinati.  As already pointed out, Heidi Fleiss, and Martin Sheen, plus a few other celebrities.  Also, I vaguely remember there was something similar to that when the name of a famous American Actor [highly talented] came out in a French Press from an escort agency.

I hope Providers recognize this method of asking for ID for a lot of people in positions of responsibility, in business, government, and community services, is simply not pragmatic.

There is an adherent risk to both parties involved and the argument of not wanting to pass information is a valid one, as is the ladies need to know that you are a gentleman and/or someone that can place her into other obvious risks.

The fundamental question each gent needs to ask himself, is whether or not he is willing to take that risk if and when a lady requires it.  I think it equally important, with that risk, that homework be done to ensure a lady has a good reputation.

Each lady has a different way of doing things.  For myself, I keep no records and delete email as I go.  My calendar only has locations and times on it and that is destroyed after the month is over.  I am not high volume and so, do believe that I am able to retain more information, but have been known to repeatedly ask for numbers because of my paranoya.  Nothing is one hundred percent fool proof, but every effort is made to ensure discretion for not only the gents part, but my own also.

I do take references.  There are many ladies and I can't possibly know all of them, some take to many risks for my tastes, nor are all of them honorable.  The lady must be reputable and have a screening process that mirrors my own.  Only then will I take her reference without need for any further information.  

I do however like to know a little about a gentleman before meeting and although I do not require the nitty gritty details, it does help in if for instance I know that I am meeting so and so, from Boston, who is a doctor or engineer and other little tidbits, such as whether or not he smokes, likes wine and the like to prepare for a meeting.  I also like to chat before hand.  It makes those first time meetings a little less nerve racking.

As I said, everyone is different and I am sure other ladies have different criteria.  Some I know will ask for the nitty gritty details regardless of reference or make that a requirement along with any other verification.  It is just a matter of finding what is most comfortable for you as to whether or not you wish to visit with her, but do not chastise her, for she must do what gives her peace of mind.

My Two Cents Worth.

Lauren

Firstly..I totally respect the ladies out there and understand the need for screening etc. As far as references go...I have seen a lady in my local area (Victoria BC) every month ,pretty much for the past 4 yrs. Am interested in travelling to the states and asked her if she would be willing to be a reference. I have been a good client to her but she refused saying that she would absolutely not talk to anyone even other providers, whatsoever about any of her clients. That would  break the confidentiality of the client. I appreciate that about her very much. But I guess that leaves me dead in the water for refferences. Oh Well...

T
ps..the other ladies I have reviewed , I have only ever seen once and except for a couple probably wouldn't go back to see again.

-- Modified on 1/21/2003 11:46:20 AM

Reiscretion

I can only pseak for myself but if a first time client can give me the names of 1or 2 companions he has seen in the past I can contact them and it goes no further,if they can't I ask them to bring certain info. with them.I do not write any of this down and I personally DESTROY ALL phone numbers etc, for your protection as well as mine,unless someone asks me to keep their number on file.  Love,Nicolexoxo

If you have no way of providing references because you are new to the hobby, how do you recommend proof that you are a gentleman?

I have bonded with the FAQs on TER and TBD, but I still am concerned about my chances of becoming a "new friend".

Help is appreciated!

Sir

Reiscretion

I don't mind giving references but I've only seen two providers so far (#3 set for Thursday, hubba, hubba) and I wonder if they would even remember me.  I'm an average guy and the girls seemed to have fun, too, but I have no illusion I rocked their world.  If you ladies don't keep records how do you remember a guy you saw a year or six  months ago.  Or is it a situation that if the guy is a creep you remember those and the reference that says, "I don't remember the guy, so he must be OK," good enough?

I never thought of it in that context.  Very good point.

Nicole,
Those are some great pics!
My fave is "LA Woman!"

I usually ask for some type of information. A reference great because some people just don't feel comfortable giving out their home phone number.

All I ask is if he was nice or not.

That's good to know.

(You're SURE you don't talk about size or anything like that?)

It's all I go by ONCE I'VE DETERMINED the possible date is compatible...

There's no reason for the reference/verification at all if I've not determined that I'd choose to date the guy and he's comfortable with dating me to start with.

I'm VERY part time, I recall everyone I've dated, (I have a bit of a photographic memory, as well) and I'm comfortable with the ladies I request reference from. All well established, well respected, together ladies.

And no, "I don't remember him, so he must be OK." Doesn't get you in.

*smoooches*

Elise

Reiscretion and Jerry Springer!

That was Charlie Sheen, not Martin Sheen, who got implicated in the Heidi Fleiss mess.  After all, Martin Sheen is the President of the United States and presidents do not get involved in sex scandals!  MQ

Comeon... If the provider was someone you knew, if the hobbyist was one of the best f--ks of your life, you wouldn't tell?? (keep dreamin)

I only ask for a name and a phone number. I don't want or need any other information. I don't keep anything except for first name and number of my regulars.
I delete and clean the files out of my computer.

Philadelphia's Tatooed Escort...

There are providers that will see you!! I suggest you find one of high reputation. You may have to put down a deposit initially in some cases.. But once you have that one down, right up a review, and ask her to be a reference.  That is how I got started. Once you two down other providers will be willing to see you...

Reiscretion

Perhaps it might help her to remember you if you ask the requesting provider to mention something about the encounter, ie: where & when it took place, something you may have talked about, etc...almost anything that might set it apart from the others.  Also, both the more frequently you may have seen her & the more recent the last time was probably increase the chances that she'll be able to say something beyond the 'I don't recall him-so-he-must-be-OK' response--that won't suffice as a reference for many providers.

I wonder if that gives me any additional qualifications...LOL

Seriously, thank you for acknowledging a certain given trust level for us gals. I understand that everyone doesn't deserve it but for girls like us, we DO appreciate it.

I think the biggest reason why I don't keep information is not for fear of it getting into the wrong hands, however it is a concern, most of it is nonverifiable anyway. I do ask for basic identification but in the age of cell phones, business lines at home, etc. It is virtually impossible to TRULY verify that information anyway...

I concur with the ladies here. References are the most important thing for verification. I also happen to think that if at all possible use a person you have seen within the last 6-8 months. This helps avoid those "UMM, I am not sure..."  I have been doing this for a good bit and I can honestly tell you, I don't remember EVERYONE I have met.

One more thing, Post It Notes are the best! Write it down, throw it away.... simple as that.

xoxo
Brooke Butler

Reiscretion and Jerry Springer!

Springer got caught not by providing ID, but by paying by check.

Fleiss got people in trouble by keeping a little black book.

Neither of these have anything to do with showing ID while you're at the appointment.  They're with the provider or hobbiest leaving a paper trail.  That can happen totally independant of showing ID.

You think I'd refer that guy out?

*Giggles & smoooochs*

Elise

I've only been asked once for my real name and a phone number where she could reach me.  And she did call!  Christ, what a shock - this was my first venture into the hobby too.  She told me when we met physically, that she had me checked out too, whatever that means.  I didn't have any problem surrendering the information and it hasn't come back to haunt me.  I've seen maybe 20 different providers and only the first one ever asked me for references or a real name.  In fairness, I do post quite a bit on different boards and that is where I meet and decide to book women.  Not always, I recently booked Gabriella in LV through an agency.

Reiscretion

My ATF gives you the choice of giving personal info or provider refference. She in turn will vouch for me when I want to see another lady.

Reiscretion

Just be careful. Most of the women are truly genuine and very discreet. There are a few out there that are really sick in the head. They will get as much information about you as they can, and then try to extort you.