This has come up in conversation so decided to post about it and get some feedback.

Some ladies and I have observed and commented on the fact that there are men who will go a long time without coming. Sometimes even stop, and go again, but it can be a long time before they come. Whether they purposely hold out, or like to prolong it, or think that we like it like that, we're not sure. Some of us have even wondered if maybe guys think that it makes them appear more virile to be able to hold off a long time??

When given their preference, the ladies have all said they prefer that men reach their orgasm in a reasonably quick time; take a break, and go for the next round.

I was wondering what you all thought?

-- Modified on 7/8/2004 6:43:48 AM

it sends him the message that she does not really want to have sex with him.  While that may be true, sending that message destroys the fantasy that he is paying her to provide, which is that she does want to have sex with him.

I'm surprised that this doesn't seem to be something people are more willing to discuss "in the room."  

Maybe I'm just a little too bashful, but I like it when a provider asks very candid questions, like if I'd rather go with a little faster pace and try to get more rounds in, or go with a slower pace and make one last a long time.

I also find that providers tend to prefer to get the first one done quickly to leave enough time for round 2...  Curious if guys feel the same way, as I prefer a bigger production on round one, squeezing in round two if, and only if, time permits.

relationships. I think my wording was misleading (the 'reasonably quick' part). What I mean is that I think most women want him to reach orgasm within a half hour, not to keep going and going and going and take a long time to climax. It isn't that we don't want to have sex, but we want to reach the destination, and then have MORE!

my thoughts with each visit and yet what is a good way to ask that, or know how he feels/his body works, etc?

... so let me see if I have this straight...up to a HALF HOUR is considered reasonable according to your research with the fairer sex?  WHEW!  And some providers make me think I'm putting them out FOREVER when I take 15 minutes of gentle stroking.

The good ones, the ones who are esteemed professionals, will ALWAYS ask the questions you mention.  The ones who don't just aren't very good at their jobs.  No always bad people, mind you.  Just not performing anywhere near the pinnacle of the profession.

Some providers make me feel like I'm really putting them out when I gently stroke away for maybe 15 minutes, tops.  I had one provider look up at me and say "do you want to finish yourself because this is getting ridiculous".  (Her review was so bad she got herself removed from TER BTW)

Ladies, give me your opinions.  I'm stoking GENTLY, not thumping hard on the outside.  I ask the lady is she'd like some lube.  I don't ask her to hold herself in a gymnastic position.  I'm doing anything weird like smearing up her hair, some don't like do much face-touching so I make a point of not doing anything she's said she doesn't like.  Also, this is all standard mish position.  I admire the lady, tell her a little about how I'm enjoying her.  And I am.  Hey, I'll admit I'm not the world's most passionate guy (to paraphrase the old song) but I am having my version of fun.

Given all this, is 15 minutes REALLY putting you out?

relationships, too even THOUGH we are mostly referring to the client/provider scenario.

For me, it doesn't 'put me out', bore me, or any of those things, and yes, that lady who said that was HORRIBLE! I think for us ladies, it is a real turn on knowing that the buildup is coming (no pun), and then we are in excited anticipation of the explosion, but when it doesn't come, and it doesn't come, and you're now f**king for an hour, it's overkill and becomes frustrating!

As far as back to the provider/client scenario, I think if we have communicated the amount of time we are spending together vs. the expectations in cups of coffee, then I think 15-25 minutes probably 'work's best, but certainly it's not with the thought of 'hurry up already, will ya?'

I'm glad this topic opened up and hope the ladies will participate.
I gotta leave now, so won't see the responses until tomorrow...

With civvi sex, 5 minutes might be a stretch- I get worked up-

with SPs I have been known to be hard for a WHILE (15-25 minutes)

I guess it all depends- some ladies have little tricks that work-I guess the ones who really seam to like it and tell me so (so what if its a lie) get me off faster.

For some reason a real expert HJ while I have Tit in my mouth works every time....

I guess its all about chemistry , new with each encounter.

My pref: crank me up and let's get rid of "the easy one" in the first 15 minutes of the session, OK?
 Then let's talk; I want to get to know YOU while I'm not dick-distracted. I love to gently massage a new bod as a way of learning about you... give you some positive strokes, some pleasure.
 After that (I've been lucky, I guess... all the ladies but the youngest I've been with have been wonderful with great attitudes), you can work your own brand of professional magic to get me ready for #2. It's that second one I remember, especially if I'm writing a review.
 Rope

Until I'm "up and running" (so to speak) I frankly, won't know  what kind of bio-chemestry my partner and I will be facing. I'm extra-ordinarily inconsistent regarding how long things last.

 I can't time what an average stay in the hanger is for me because when I'm flying the friendly skies I'm looking at the clouds...not the gas gage.

Occasional insulin "depressions" aside, There have been times when I stay hard for ages, very unusual, and fun for awhile.  The woman doesn't usually mind cause I'm giggling so much in her face.
But sometimes it goes on and it's not like I can just say "AlaKaZaaam CUM-RIGHT-NOW!" and it's gonna happen.  And it IS frustrating for me as well as her!  I don't want to work that hard either for crying out loud!  Look at me for god's sake!

 But then there are times when I can control it (within a minute of landing gear deployment) which gives the lady and I a little "wiggle room" to discuss one of three topics:
 Discussion Topic A: where should I let the "touchdown" happen. (or "where do you want this thing lady"!?)
 Discussion Topic B: One last chance to ask, "are you having fun yet?"  (applies to either party)
 Discussion Topic C: "So, where do you want to eat after this?"

 Usually the lady has more control over when I deploy more than I do myself.  Generally speaking, you ladies are WAAAAY better at this than I am.  (And it's very freeing to awknowledge it before I even walk in.)

EOM

As a guy who is only good for one go around in an hour session, I do try to make it last a little longer.  Not successful all of the time too.

I also spend time giving the lady pleasure as well (a massage, kissing, etc.).

As for me, I don't try and rush anything, but it depends on the person you're with, I suppose. I guess the main question would be -- and pardon me for saying this -- is he pounding the crap out of you or going at it gently? Is he trying to give you thousands of orgasms and maybe he doesn't realize you'll be fine with just one or maybe even none, depending on the day. Every situation is different. I like a lot of caressing and foreplay, but sometimes (to be honest) it's nice to be done soon and converse more, then be escorted out the door, especially if the gentleman is less than courteous or has bad breath. Wink!

For the most part, 15 to 25 minutes certainly is not unreasonable. And two pops in an hour is fine by me, but don't make me feel bad if you can't get it up in that little of time. Heck, I've even had three to five pops in one hour (although very rare).  I think the question should come up while you're being romantic (so as to not sound cold) while you're together. I don't know -- what does everyone else think about this one?

Hugs,
Ciara

I recently meet a gentleman that I have to say was wonderful . He lasted almost the full hour.MMMM we tried many different ways. So I have to say it depends on the guy and girl. I thoughly enjoyed the long time. But I have to say that other times I like it when a guy takes 2 or 3 cups. The build up over and over again can be quite delicious.

I'm with you on this one, rope.  Well put.

"I like alot of caressing and foreplay".

Then, m'lady, that is what you are going to get.

Just my opinion...
B