What's your thinking on providers whom don't give you the direct and seemingly honest answer about their availability. For example, they say they have something to deal with wholly unrelated to this business in response to your request for a date (this by a regular) and then you learn trhru some bc emails that she was actually trying to book the time with someone else?  I know this hobby is simply about money and sex, but is it unreasonable to expect that a provider will give you a direct response about her availability and what conclusion should you draw from her apparent desire to mislead relative to you (e.g. she'd prefer seeing you only if her plate is empty and she otherwise cannot book the time?). Fire away

She is avaliable to you when she says she is. She said she had other plans for the sheer fact it is non of your business who else she is booking with when and why she is.

I would rather think that she has any other reason not to be able to see me than to think she'll only book me as a last resort when the rent is overdue and all her other clients are indisposed.

My thinking is that she doesn't have to tell you ANYthing - but, if she feels she has to give a reason, just about anybody would be more likely to say "I have to wash my hair that night" than "I have to boink somebody else that night."

Yes, it is unreasonable for you to expect a provider to give honest details about her life outside of her momentary relationship with you.

What conclusion should you draw from her "apparent desire to mislead"? Maybe she DOES only want to see you as a last resort, for the cash. Or maybe the other guy is more fun, better looking, a higher roller, or MAYBE she just likes him better. Maybe she doesn't like either one of you better, but is trying to keep a grip on as many regulars as possible.

Why draw a conclusion at all? If you enjoy seeing her, keep doing it. If this sort of thing upsets you, then stop. It's not that complicated, really. The only problem occurs when you expect the relationship to be something that it ISN'T.

Just kidding, but I do have a question for you when you get a chance.  Can you IM me?  Thanks

Unavailable is unavailable.  It doesn't matter why and there's no use wasting brainspace trying to figure it out.  

-- Modified on 5/19/2006 6:45:05 PM

My wife gives me answers that are totally unrelated to the question I ask her, as have many other girlfriends over the years. Get used to it!

She is not your wife. She is a provider and she has the right to pick and choose who, when, and where. Just like you have your favorite provider that you prefer over others.

...now if someone would just tell me when Hell freezes over, I've got about 50 ladies I need to schedule with.

I do not divulge why I am unavailable. Most of the time I simply say "Sorry I am unavailable". But often I try to suggest another time at which we can get together.
Whether it be another client or a personal matter, the fact remains that I am unavailable.

As well, if someone has to cancel on me or something of that sort, I would rather he/she be honest or vague. If you don't want to tell the truth, that is not a reason to make up a story. It's stupid to lie for no reason like that. And if you are found out then you disappoint others and problem lose a good client/friend.


-- Modified on 5/20/2006 10:25:24 AM

It's simply called respecting the privacy rights of another.  

Yes, you do have access to backchanneling, or you might also be able to go to her apt and bang on the door and hang signs and totally destroy her.   What are you thinking?

Just let her breathe.  And for your own sake, don't take it as a personal rejection okay?

I have to weigh in on the side of everyone who says it's just not something for you to be concerned with. Her business is none of your business.

There are a lot of reasons, aside from the posibility that she may only want to see you as a last resort, that she may be trying to get someone else scheduled and moving you down on her list.

The other gent may be an infrequent flyer, and she wants to be sure to get this trip scheduled.
The other gent may be a big tipper, and that does make a difference sometimes.
The other gent may be a new client, and she is counting on her regular to be understanding as she tries to accomodate someone else.

Conclusions you might draw about why you're not number one on her hit parade, aside from no conclusions at all, since there are other reasons (see above) why she might be bumping you around on her schedule...

Maybe you are difficult to work with, some gentlemen require more effort than others and are best seen on days when you know you won't be doing anything else.
Maybe she likes you a lot, and would prefer to see you when she knows she won't be rushed or preoccupied with other appointments in her mind.
Maybe she can't stand you and you are on her only as a last resort list.

As for why she doesn't just tell you she's trying to work out some scheduling issues, well, many gentlemen really do have the fantasy that they are the only one. They know better, but they don't want to be reminded. She's probably just trying to protect your ego.

This happens to me sometimes, I've told some guys that I'm unavailable & then had them say 'oh so you are totally booked all day?'. The funny thing is, that's not true, I'm not booked all day, just that I have already done a call that day or have one booked & just don't want any more than that or I'm off for the day.

Try not to take take what she said to you personally, the other gentleman probably scheduled his appt before you.

It doesn't sound like she tried to purposely mislead you in any way.

Sara

theres no need to lie about it. If your simply saying no I cant meet at that time, then thats one thing, but making up excuses is just unnecessary.

...those words remind me of something that happened to me a few years ago with a new escort to me.

I had time to kill at Manchester airport and I booked the lady for a two hour booking at 7 o'clock in the morning, at a well enhanced rate for the unsocial hour. She called me the night before and confirmed, then said that she was going out to do a quick outcall but that she would see me in the morning as agreed.

She texted me at about 5 in the morning when I had just arrived at the airport hotel and said that her evening date had made her a good offer and that she was staying with him all night and would not do my booking. I can only assume that what he offered was not a life changing sum, but she never got into that much detail.

She had the balls to be honest about what was occuring but I was still pissed off. To my mind she should have told the other guy that she already had a confirmed booking next morning and that she would be unable to stay with him. But she did not think in that way.

That is not the same situation that the thread started is describing, but it just goes to show that some people will jerk you around if they get a better offer. Clients and providers, of course.

I never bothered trying to book her again though.

...especially when you find out through a third party. But as somebody else said above, don't take it too personally as it appears that she was not doing it just to antagonise you. You don't have an automatic right to her service, even if you are a regular.

This sort of thing is not a huge issue for hobbyists like me, since I tend to see numerous girls infrequently rather than a few girls frequently. Start spending the Benjamins on somebody else and before long she will be emailing, saying she misses you and asking why she has not seen you for so long, lol

see someone else... you have just burst my really  big bubble... please tell me I am the only one.... I mean, I am right!?  


lol!  If I am the only one at that time, I'm happy! lol....  and with some agencies, being the only one during that time slot is a fantasy.

well if she treats her frequent flyers better you can't really blame her.  But all things being equal and she's treating you second class, then I'd move on. That's the way things are sometimes.  Must be one hell of a guy.

-- Modified on 5/21/2006 10:25:44 PM

I received the information bc when one of the hobbyists sent me a note saying he may be meeting with her at __ time and asking me what's she like!  I did not seek the info out. I respect her privacy and have referred a number of people to her so it's not the situtation where I am trying to keep her all to me; quite the opposite -- a point she knows.

...that lovely idea of NSA. You dont have to worry what she is doing, just like she should have no concern about your life outside of your meeting. If she is busy, book someone else, and go about your day or wait until she is available-- its as simple as that, there should be no worries beside when and where you will meet...

To inquire further about her personal life is a little intrusive and borders obsession... and its just plain presumptuous and rude...

Dani

and for that I apologize.  So I can see where that could make you feel a bit creepy.  Personally, sometimes I'd rather not know, as they whole thing gets incestuous and very heated to say the least.  Which is why I've tended to hang back a bit, not go into chatrooms.  I can create quite enough drama in my life alone, thank you.  But as you stated here,  you here, you didn't have a choice.

My apologies and regards.

Felicia

Felicia

No need to apologize at all sexy. I was simply trying to provide context that was not slef-evident from my original post. As for the point about having info, I agree, less is more.  Regards and give my best to Wow Nikki

See my second response to Felicia my dear.   Don't assume facts.

I like the made up excuse.  "Because I'll have another guy's dick in my ass at that time you want" might ruin the mood.

I don't want to meet the date before me or after me, and I don't want to discuss them.  If I can keep them mentally in the denial area of my brain, the better!

...it should not even have crossed your mind enough to post here on TER. You should not have even given it a second thought, unless you honestly felt some sort of wrong was done to you. Because you do not seem like someone who lacks intelligence, so you should have rightly known that EVERY woman (and even some men) was going to jump on you and tell you the exact same thing, that what she does outside of the two of you is none of your business... so your posting here, says that either you wanted to post something just because, or you honestly needed advice, and if it is the latter, then that was my advice to you, based off of the information you gave about the situation. Im only saying, no matter what level you may be (or may feel you are on) on with someone, there is always something they may wish to keep from you, no matter what their reason. If she chooses to open up, she does; some do, some don't; my point is, whatever-- so what? no big deal.... get over it... and why get mad when someone tells you their opinion, like you asked for?

Its a no-brainer, non issue type rule-- and it applies to life outside the hobby, and its called "to each is own"... and if it doesn't affect you directly in any damaging sort of way-- why alter your breathing pattern over it?

Dani




-- Modified on 5/23/2006 2:33:32 AM

My brief response was not intended to be biting, although I am sorry you read it that way and/or if it in fact comes off that way.   I guess my point in originally posting was to see, in part, what level of honesty you can reasonably expect goes on in this business, even with those you think you have a good but certainly business relationship with.  If the shoe were on the other foot and I had scheduled an appointment and then allegedly, let's say due to a claimed work obligation, I cancelled on the provider for this reason but really to see a visiting lady and then the provider learned of it she'd be pissed, rightly so.  The situations are not the same I agree except they both are better dealt with via candor, not dishonesty. This is a hobby about sex and money not true in-depth relationships so why the need to lie?