From a strictly mathematical viewpoint, it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and knowledge will get you close, and, Attitude will get you there, Bullshit and Ass kissing will put you over the top!
I can handle knowing that I'm contributing 95%!!!
PROVIDER=105 (Close to courtesan?)
HOBBYIST=100 (Women always outscore men)
CUNNILINGUS=144 (Proving how important it is to warm up an engine)
FELLATIO=80
BLOWJOB=79 (Same act, almost same score)
RUSSIAN=101
HANDJOB=54
GREEK=46 (46?????? Damn, a handjob was better?)
DOGGIE=47 (This ain't getting better)
COWGIRL=87 (Hmmm-- ahhh-- REVERSECOWGIRL=179!)
MISSIONARY=142
and MASTURBATION=153 (I've known that was a big scorer since I was a kid!)
I always give 100%:
12% on Monday
30% on Tuesday
35% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
3% on Friday (all before noon, of course.)
-- Modified on 2/5/2004 5:05:08 PM
Turns out that
I-N-H-A-L-I-N-G M-Y M-A-N R-O-O-T
Will get you farther (208) than knowledge AND hardwork combined... Who knew?!? I think I'll point this out at work tomorrow and see how that flies.
Sure, then total the score for "unemployment".