Actually, a club where the girls don't strip at all, but wear G-strings, and dance in a way that is way more sexy than at a pussy-showing strip club.

Young women, not so much jaded as wounded and needing.

Gonna talk about some things that are "real" now.

There was an older women there who worked there 25 years before, and it was her birthday.  About 50 years old.  The girls (mostly in their early 20's) were all over her, hugging, kissing, wanting to have their pictures taken with her as a keepsake.  I talked with her, told her these women did not have  a nurturing mommy and that she was their nurturing mommy, if only for a little while, and that was why she meant so much to them.  She said "I love my girls" - she "got" what I was saying.  God damn, why is there such poor parenting in this world?  

Flash forward  -  I'm watching another young woman, she senses that I'm a nice older guy (old enough to be her father), and she leans way over so she can hear whatever I want to say, and I say "I think you're awesome".  When she's through and scooping up the money from the guys, she puts out her hand and "introduces" herself to me, and I tell her my name too as I shake her hand.  What this young woman wants so much is approval from a father figure - something that maybe she never had from her real father.  I'm glad to give it to her, even if it is in a sexual context, because I think it can be a good thing for her.  I'm thinking a lot of providers crave the same thing, and I'm thinking that there is nothing wrong with giving it to them, as long as it is sincere and a short-term thing, in which it is clear that this has nothing at all to do with any kind of "relationship", but is only a short-term "approval boost" from a father figure, and NOT EXPLOITATIVE.  In other words, simple and benign, with no strings attached.

I have been to pussy-showing strip joints, and what a world of difference!  You can't even begin to have a "real" moment with them, because they have hardened themselves to being "on the job", in "money making" mode every second.  So strange, and so very unnatural - good for their psyches because it gives them protection? or bad because it takes them outside of themselves in a way that is unhealthy?  Pussy-showing strippers almost always have "bad boy" boyfriends, usually abusive.  Fucking sad!

OK, enough for now. I'm rambling, but it's good to be real once in a while, if this board can handle it.







-- Modified on 4/2/2004 8:05:14 PM

-- Modified on 4/2/2004 8:05:34 PM

for the majority - sad to say...

This might sound odd to some of you who are currently parents, but, in what period of time did we start making "playdates" for our kids? Since when do we need to sit down and have tea with the childs parent before we left them play in the front yard together.....

Parents cant properly discipline their own children anymore. Punishing the child with a slap to the bottom, was the sort of thing that would set a child straight ... when they were doing something wrong they'd remember that slap. The parent would not be forced to do it more than once or twice before the kid got the picture.

Now, you have to watch how you discipline your child, how you speak to you child. You cant say anything "unmotivational" ....


Im sorry, imho we need to stop being so damn "PC" and actually take responsibility for our kids & stop letting others tell us how to raise them. If you want to be "PC" and act in the "post-modern" way of parenting, so be it. But for the rest of us, we should be able to discipline our children & in general lighten up a little.

my 2cents

(note - i in noway condone child abuse, very distinct difference between abuse & discipline.)

Agree with all but one phrase in your post, the wording of which may or may not be what you intended to say:

"...entirely about sex and never about any real issues..."

I don't view my honest need for touch and for physical affection to be "side shows" in my life, they are very real isues in their own right, hence my involvement in all this.

(Believe me Nicole, that pic on your site of you looking around the doorway in the black dress creates very real issues in my life!)

And when the 'lil darling went back to the dressing room she said, "Nobody try to hustle the Dads I was with.  He's all mine until he hits his ATM limit.  What a sucker, my rent is paid this month.  How I love those old fools."

After noticing a provider’s ad on one the local escort sites, I called to see if I could set up  an appointment.  I tried her number several times and every time, I got her voce mail.  I never left a message but I noticed that she had an angry tone on her voice mail.   Besides, being attracted to her, I was curious, so I wrote her an email and asked for an appointment, and also asked her why she sounded so angry.  She replied and gave me an appointment, but denied my claim about her tone.
 
Sexually, she was all I imagined, just incredible in every way. Gorgeous, good attitude, sex was great, and her body just fit like a glove.  I liked her so much that I saw her a couple of times, but I always noticed that there was something about her.  She had the sort of vulnerability that just made her amazing in bed, and I somehow had to find out her story. One night I kept talking to her and to my surprise, she opened up and told me a great deal about what was happening in her life without revealing too much of the past.  However, from what she was saying, I could tell she was from a wealthy family with very religious and strict background.  It seemed that after she had gotten herself into trouble, her parents just denied helping her out and just let her go.   Having had the same experiences, I realized that a great deal of the mess she was in was just due to her constant anger from being abandoned.  

She wrote me a couple of times after she had gotten herself into trouble, all because of her temper.  I gave her advice and made her aware that perhaps her approach was somewhat inappropriate.  I also tried to tell her that she needs to seek some sort of therapy, but I know she won’t listen.   I’ve heard from so many people “yeh my kid’s gonna be eighteen and she’ll be going to college and that’s when I’m gonna have my life back”. It always surprises me to hear people who call themselves parents, see their kids as such burden.  I don’t think that a parent’s job is over after their kid becomes an adult.  Late teens and early 20’s are when we make our mistakes and when we need some safety net.  If parents are not there, and worse, refuse to help us, who can we turn to?  

This girl is constantly on my mind these days.  I would hate to be acting like the hero here.  I know that she has made a choice, but her future is so clear to me based on what knowledge I have from her.  I’m not sure if I should, if she wants me to, or even if I know how to help her. So I’ll do what almost everyone else will do.  I won’t see her again!  Though, I’m sure her parents are praying for her on this Sunday morning, because they are good God-Fearing Christians!!


-- Modified on 4/4/2004 11:30:03 AM

She played you like a cheap piano!

Have fun

You sound like a nice guy and I don't want to piss on your parade too much but may I suggest you sit down for a viewing of Strip Club Divas or whatever the hell that show is called on HBO.  I think you got played and I think that young woman was as sincere as a politician the day before an election.  My experience is that dancers are more jaded than even long-term providers, many of them really can't stand men and most will treat you like shit as soon as the money runs out (sometimes sooner).  What's unclear from your post is how many private dances, overpriced drinks or other payment she got out of you.  If she spent real time talking to you without the mention of money, maybe she's the exception to the rule.  I wouldn't bet on it.

I gave this woman a grand total of one dollar.  

Sounds like some of the guys have had unfortunate experiences with being "played".  If you don't give money, you haven't been "played" for money.

No cover charge.  I did buy one beer for four dollars while in the club.

Anyhow, now that that's cleared up, something that the (apparently young) guys do not understand is that when you have raised a daughter to adulthood, and have the life experiences that go with that, you are in a position to know more about some of these young women than they know about themselves.