OK. I am not a newbie, but.....

I was dumb as a rock and had given my CC # to a well known local provider long ago. Everything was fine until she and her roommate went crazy and charged about 600 to my account. When confronted, she said she would pay be back ASAP.

Of course that did not happen, I have already been "outed" by someone with phone calls to my house. Now wife is watching every dollar.

Question is this...Should I out her/them?

Yes I was stupid, but in spite of that...what should I do? The 600+ is not monumental, but I am so sick of being used.

The CC company is being understanding, but needs names and circumstances to validate my fraud claim.


Question is this...Should I out her?

Yes I was stupid, but in spite of that...what should I do? The 600 is not monumental, but I am so sick of being used.

The CC company is being understanding, but needs details to validate my fraud claim.

Should I give the details to them?

Should I use this link?


-- Modified on 12/27/2003 7:44:15 PM

cancel your credit card, pay the bill, and learn from this expensive lesson.  THe corollaries are as follows:
1] never give your CC #
2] never give your home phone number
3] only give info a provider could very well find herself with simple searching
4] only see trusted providers and do not rely further on your 'instincts'

..and pray for common sense to be bestowed upon you in 2004.  

-- Modified on 12/27/2003 7:48:36 PM

Take some advice from Mulder - TRUST NO ONE - you gave her info any identity thief would kill to have. let it go and pay in cash from now on.

Yep, here is another time to use the alias so hated on the boards.  You have been set up (with your own help!) for ongoing extortion.  This will bring some flames I know.

There really isn't enought info to give solid advice, but in general I'd do something like this (and I know it's not politically correct but I'm not one to believe in Karma or other supernatural sword wielders):

Gather together every little bit of info that you have.  Every bit.  Then analize it carefully.  Inside this info is the key to pulling this off successfully.  Study and think.

If you have gotten all the heat you are going to get from her with regards to your wife finding out, then report the card number as having gotten into the wrong hands and get a new one. You say you were "outed" to your wife yet you state that she is watching every dollar.  Does that mean that she actually knows about the seeing of an escort?  Or does that mean that she knows you did something stupid with the credit card?  Does this provider know how to get intouch with your wife?  If so is there a way to change that?

Where did you meet this escort?  At a hotel?  Can you redily get to her?  If so, I'd carefully get the bitch.  There is no way that I'd sit back and take this.  

You've got time on your side.  Lay low after you've secured your credit card and phone issue to put some space between events.  Stay this side of the law with regards to threats or stalking.  Move slowly and smoothly so that wife suspects nothing.  Then hit with something that would be so shocking that she doesn't dare come up for air.  She deserves to get busted.  If there is a way to set her up for that I say do it.  You can creat a way that doesn't lead directly back to you.

Thank you

Okay, we all know that you shouldn't be giving details to the CC company, or anyone else for that matter.  Do yourself a favor and listen to Price Check.  

If your wife doesn't know all the facts, don't tell her!  If she does, deny it.  If you haven't written a review of this provider, write one that includes a brief description of her fraud, and give her a "1" for service (RIPOFF!!!).  Then, use your link to report the crime.  

Finally, drive several miles away from your home and place of business; use a pay phone to call the police precinct that has jurisdiction in the provider's area and give an anonymous tip (remember not to give your name, or to give a fake one when asked).  This last part works best if you schedule a fake appointment with the provider beforehand.  Ask a friend to help if you're worried that she will recognize your voice.  Hopefully this will ensure that she's home when the vice squad drops by.  Of course, I've never actually done this, so I don't know whether it'll work.  Good luck.

Besides the fact that it could come back to bite one in the ass (that ROB has info about you.  A credit card receipt is a sure way to invite a LE visit.), it could also place other innocent parties in trouble.  It will create such furor and backlash which could make a mortal and determined enemy out of that ROB.  It also generates bad Karma.

Sometimes it is better to protect one's back with the CC company, submit a review or voice that in regional boards and move on.  After all, a hobbyist also has much to lose if things got out of hand.

Happy hobbying to all.

There is a lesson here actucally for every one! I think this well crystallized story, should enlighten the Providers why we find the whole process of screening a silly exercise.

If I were a provider, I would have been a lot more warry of a man freely giving me his real name, office phone number, and actual driver's license, than a man who would balk at any of these!  

...revenge, gettinng back, is not the best route here.  She illegally used your credit card because you used it for an illegal activity.  The CC company will cancel your card with no questions asked.  They may cancel the charge though they usually want to investigate...you do not wnat this.  If Pricecheck has a real plan, I would be interested in knowing it, but likely this provider (rop off artist in this case as true providers would be put off by her using this title) is desperate and may accordingly if you strike back...let it slide and learn from your mistakes.  

If you worked on this side of the hobby you wouldn't consider verification a "silly process."  I understand why some men are nervous about it, why can't you understand why we need it? We are putting ourselves on the line here. I little undersatnding on both sides helps a lot.

Hello. Lets look at it from a providers side:

1. You are young and attractive.
2. You are going to see a strange man you've never met.
3. You are not sure if he's a nice guy or an axe murderer.
4. To feel safe (not necessarily be safe) you ask him to put something on the line. And that something is his IDENTITY. Thats alot to ask. As you can see, a RIP OFF ARTIST can do identity theft with that, or credit card fraud, or call his home, or any number of things. To do this requires trust for both of them.
5. He may still be an axe murderer, but he'll think twice because he knows that she has his info, and a he knows a smart provider will tell someone else where that info is in case she doesnt call after the appointment.
6. It's just a safety precaution (that doesnt always work) but it's all we have guys.

p.

I agree a provider needs to protect herself; however, if you think getting a guys name, place of work, etc. will protect you from LE then you need to open your eyes.  These days LE has become more creative.  All too often the get a local business to vouch for them.  References from know and trusted hobbyists and providers are helpful; personal and work information only gives a false sense of security.  I also wonder how many providers are willing to provide a hobbyist with the kind of information they request in the screening process.  As this post shows, hobbyist are at risk too.

Oh my god..I cant believe in this day and age that anyone would have the blatant disrespect for anyone to act as this provider did..what was she thinking..and you say she is an  experienced provider..I am so so sorry this happened to you..I personally believe in Karma..as sappy as this sounds I would never do to someone what they did to me...you need to tell her what she has done to your life..and maybe reporting her to your CC company is not the right thing to do..but a rip off review is definitely needed..she may do this to others....she called your wife?? I would find it very hard not to wreck her life..very hard but you have none to answer to but yourself..she obviously thought you would not report her..or else she would not be so braisin..maybe you need to do a few minor things..like call her landlord..say she is seeing clients at home...little things that dont involve LE..I dont believe in being a snitch..no matter what..but I do believe in showing someone what consequences their action might have in a way they can fully understand...hope it gets better for you...and I have a page on my site that asks for alot of info..not  my idea..so to be taken down..why? because I personally am not comfortable asking all that info..nor would I ever call a persons home or workplace..ever...and I've been hurt ..physically by a client..but I still wont call someone's work..its just too invasive

-- Modified on 12/28/2003 12:09:11 PM

-- Modified on 12/28/2003 12:23:54 PM

-- Modified on 12/28/2003 12:25:21 PM

you write "why can't you understand why we need it?" and we say why can't you understand why we can't give it.  It isn't a "silly process" as suggested, but to say that "some men are nervous.." is taking it just as lightly IMHO.

Ultimately, you women are in the drivers seat.  You got what we want and eventually you will get what you want so we get what we want....until someone comes along who will give us what we want without what you want.  I believe it's another example of supply and demand, No?

is complex and requires all the details not just an overview of the situation.  But trust me, there is a way to put this bitch in her place.

Now you say she is desparate.  I doubt that she would have starved without the money.  I bet she is just a low life who took advantage of a situation... an oppertunist with no conscience.

It would be good for her to pay a nice big price.  I rather like a little time behind bars.  It's good for the soul I'm told.  Adds a little perspective to life.

Yes you should press charges against her.  She not only stole from you..she comitted fraud..on a Federal level.

BUT..if you do, she will drag everything out in the open..and you will have a lot of explaining to do..not only to your wife. The credit card co would be the LAST place I'd be worried about getting details..they could care less  

Your call!!

(You're married..and you used a credit card that your wife has access to???....lazy and careless (stupid, too)!!

Everyone should work within their comfort level and stop the bickering.  OK guys so this hottie you have throbbing wood for won't see you without you stepping outside your comfort zone?
Move along, there will be another HOTTER girl along in a short time who does not require more than you will give.
Ladies, you too, should stay within your comfort zone.  Don't see someone who wont give information or who does not pass your screening criteria just because business is slow, or bills are piling up.  Everytime a lady I know of has done this she has gotten into a jam in one way or the other.
BUT.... let me repeat that... BUT, don't think that having any of this screening criteria will protect you from the predators out there, if you page back through the LA Discussion Board you will find a few threads over the past two years which discuss situations where ladies have been ripped off or much worse and the guy did screen out, or at least provide information that did.
The bottom line is your best protection is a referral from a trusted source who also checks out.
Let's agree to disagree and enjoy this hobby.  Aint that what it is all about?

ML

Reporting this to the CC fraud department should get you your money back and cause her enough headache that she'll learn her lesson. She'll have to prove to the fraud dept at your cc company that she was authorized to make that transaction, which obviously she can't do. The CC company will refund your card rather than waiting for her to pay you back directly.

She'll suffer some consequences as well. To get herself set up to take credit cards she more than likely had to furnish a Federal Tax ID#. To get that she needs to apply to the IRS which also involves using her real name and social security number, etc.. So this will likely get put on her personal and business record/credit report. If she's done this in the past they might even yank her priviledges to process CC transactions.

Over the years I've gone through the Fraud/affidavit process a number of times and I don't think you will have to go into any detail about your previous business dealings with her beyond the transaction in question.  Fraud depts do this all day long and the 19.8% interest we pay on CC's pays for this service so why not take advantage of it!!!! After filling out the affidavit you probably won't have to do anything but wait for your refund.

Thank you!  A voice of reason.

So many with so much to lose... not to LE, why cause problems for anyone else whose number she "forgot" to discard!

But YES you should out her!  Anyone whose moral and business ethics have sunk this low...
if you are hesitant to do this, give her one last chance to make good on the money, and warn her that her name will be on every on-line board out here if not.

I think keeping her identity secret is putting other hobbyists at risk of a similar situation, and unfairly contributes to undue fear of honest providers.

Isn't this exactly the kinda' thing this board is for?!?
Or is it really to see if she is natural DD and likes touring the greek islands?
: P

Of course report it. You did NOT authorize these purchases and I do believe you WILL NOT see the cash from her again.

Cancel the card too.

Duh....Shaye