I believe everyone has certain expectations when booking a provider. After reading their fantasy reviews maybe you expect GFE services. Understand that the golden rule here is YMMV = your mileage may vary.

Realize that if you're not practicing self-care providers are never expected to DFK, DATY, or anything else that makes them feel uncomfortable. If you're not investing in yourself before the date by manscaping, getting a manicure, pedicure, haircut, or caring about your appearance FIV is not going to happen if your nails are not trimmed. Cleanliness is essential. Visit a dentist on a regular basis & use the mouthwash before anything.

If you're inviting a woman over to your private residence to spend the night hire a cleaning service, or your fantasy of showering together may never happen if you have visible mold. It's not attractive to feel dirty using the bathroom. I feel sad that I have to share these things because it's not common knowledge, or courtesy.  Book a hotel if it's an issue.  

As a professional provider I expect you to practice self-care if you desire having all of your fantasies fulfilled. I would never arrive on any date if I did not look good and feel great. If you're sick, or have a cold please cancel. Thank you.

Based on some of the responses I've read on different threads over the past weeks, I've come to understand that there are certain clients who don't understand that ways in which they show up might have an impact on the overall mutual enjoyment (or lack thereof) during a date. Maybe it's "the customer is always right" mentality taken to an extreme especially because of the overlap with skewed views about sex workers.  

 
From what I can tell, some are convinced that just having cash in hand and showing up is all that's required. However there is a range of things a client can do to contribute effort to a date being fun, or even phenomenal. Many of those things are touched on in the etiquette sections of many companions' websites. There are even "good client guide" blog posts that have gained traction. I think Tryst has something similar as well on their site with solid advice.

 
Even in platonic / friendship contexts, I've been blown away when thinking about the distinction between how men are socialized when it comes to feminized tasks and labor such as house chores and cleaning. I've seen 30 or 40 something men left to their own devices who keep their home space in the wildest condition. And I get that sometimes life can get overwhelming. Still, when you're hosting someone, you either get it together or coordinate another option. Even with civilian dating, many people would understand the example of wanting to shower in a bathroom that's clean. But I think some men think a mystery maternal figure appears out of nowhere to do the cleaning they are supposed to do *or* that their partners and playmates are supposed to wallow in a weird situation with them while somehow still being sexy and turned on.

 
Similarly, I think some men are not mindful or aware of how to prepare for the sex that they say they want. Manicured hands and trimmed nails for digital penetration is a must as Bia said. Anal prep and internal cleansing comes to mind as well. If you really want to experience rimming which feels amazing, there are things you have to do to facilitate that fantasy being a reality. Hopefully people engage earnestly with what's touched on the original post.

While I get the general idea, this reads like a rather privileged post. A manicure, pedicure and manscaping, and hire a cleaning service?!?!? None of this is necessary. I regularly clip and file my own nails, both fingers and toes. I shave my junk area every week, and always freshly the morning before a booking. I am more than capable of keeping my house clean, though I never would have a provider over to my personal residence. If I am booking an outcall, it's because I am staying at a hotel. And, I keep my room well kept. I don't think anyone capable of addressing the important part of this needs to be told how to do it. It should not matter whether someone is hired or if it's self managed. In the end, as long as the person and the place is well kept, how it got there is not of any significance.

A girl I was seeing for a long time. Hot as hell 10/10. Invited me to her rather nice house. The only thing clean was her kitchen and bed. I was dumbstruck. So I learned stick to hotels 😂  as much as I was paying her she could have easily paid for cleaning. Some people just live differently .

This shouldn’t be aimed at clients only as it’s really a bigger issue with people in the lifestyle in general. Anyone who has been around p4p long enough as a client has probably seen it all i.e. poor hygiene, a dirty incall, bad breath, or obvious, oft putting signs that someone was in the room with the girl just prior to us entering.
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The problem is that the people who need these reminders the most, be they male or female are often the same people who don’t realize they even have a problem to begin with. Think about it QB...if someone has to be told to shower, take care of their nails, wear clean clothes, or make sure their breath is fresh, how much is a reminder in a forum like this really going to change them?  
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The reality is that some people simply were never taught basic self care or even proper manners. Others may be dealing with things like depression, addiction, mental health issues, or may be on the spectrum and struggle with certain daily routines that most of us take fpr granted.  
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Then add in todays crazy lifestyle, where many adults spend hours every day gaming all alone, are glued to their phones, and are constantly distracted by life coming at them, with all its stresses and unknowns and it’s not that surprising at all that some people lose site of the basics. I am not excusing it, of course, as I pride myeslf in being squeaky clean but it seems to me there are more troubled souls now than ever.

This reminds me of an experience i have at least once a week when I go out to dinner. I see a lady dressed in heels and a flattering dress, and her date is wearing his best sweatshirt, dirty jeans and flip-flops. For Fuck's sake--why do women put up with this?! Make an effort man!

As for P4P, what you advise is what I've done for as long as I've played. The problem--as others have pointed out--is that your message will not penetrate to where the unkempt, disheveled, funky and unclean make congress. Your message will be met by a solid wall of dirt and denial.

Whenever a lady is taking me out to dinner at a fine-dining restaurant, I always wear a suit and tie.  You must live up to their expectations just like the ladies do when WE are the ones paying.  

CDL never misses the opportunity for a humble brag...but they're usually BS.

It was just a brag.

Yeah, and he even "Liked" his own post.

Recharge your sarcasm detectors and read this again.  On what planet do you think women take ME out to dinner and they pay?  Probably about as many times as they do BigP.  I can understand having to dumb things down for two of you, but Nicky?  Really?  

Makes me want to leave immediately when I step into the restroom to wash my hands, freshen my breath, and see used condoms and wrappers in the trash.   I know what is going on,but, that's too much of a graphic for me.

Generally, this one is used when someone knows he has irretrievably lost and needs to find a gentle way of taking the "L."

You, of all people here, really aren’t in a position to be handing out Ls or Ws. Not surprised that BigP missed the sarcasm, but you? Really should know better.

you will see it was a joke from the beginning.  I even capitalized WE near the end so that even the slow people here would understand that I dress up when the WOMAN PAYS, which never happens.  (The last time I forgot my wallet on a date was in high school.)  It's so sad to see you missing this when I thought it was quite plain.  It's sad to watch you double down like this when you could have just thrown BigP under the bus and said you only read his post and not mine, so that's why you missed the subtle humor in the wording.

Going to the lady's bathroom and encountering a "floater".  Yep--that happened.  And I'm pretty sure it wasn't a Snickers bar.

Is it possible to see who likes a post or not? I've seen people say "they liked their own post" but how do you see that?

You can't see who likes their own post. But that is something that CDL has said frequently. Just using his own words against him.   Some people just can't see the irony of sarcasm.

-- Modified on 6/23/2026 7:05:43 PM

-- Modified on 6/23/2026 7:16:47 PM

No, its not possible. Not only that, but if you gave a like via a misclick, there is no way to take that like back.

who can and cannot hand out Ls and Ws.
Really should know better.
I award you an L for your post.

If that was a joke you clearly were either born without a sense of humor or had it surgically removed.
But at least you got ChicKenShit to White Knight for you. Albeit quite ineffectively.
So there's that.

If a man can be clean and bearable to sleep with without a manicure, pedicure, manscaping, or a cleaning service, we're all for it. You know what Queen Bia meant, but felt the need to oppose her for some reason. Someone did the same thing when I suggested clients use witch hazel or glycolic acid toner on their crotch to reduce odor. The whole point is to be fresh and clean. No one cares how you get there.

I read it as a joke.  And I'm not CDLs bff.

give you an idea how tired she might be, but only if she empties the trash daily.  However, "loaded" condoms can develop a disagreeable smell after a few days as the semen die and go into decomp phase.  

I thought your sarcasm here was pretty clear.

(I do take my romantic partners to nice dinners and pay, actually.)