Had a slight disruption, but it's back to fiction...

#### - Chapter 4 Part A

"You're just going to walk in to city hall and ask for a permit to open a brothel?" Lee sounded a little incredulous as he looked across the counter at Amy.  "While you're at it why don't you ask for a permit to speed whenever you want?"  

Once again Lee immediately regretted what he'd just said.  All his life he'd struggled with his mouth coming before his brain.  When would he ever learn to think before he spoke, he thought.  'And keep the stupid comments to yourself' he tacked onto the thought for good measure.  

"Amy, I'm..." he started to apologize.  "Well, maybe." Amy cut him off in a very rare moment of self-doubt as she flipped a crepe.  

When Lee had called this afternoon wanting to get together she'd thought that inviting him over to her apartment for dinner was a good idea.  Now as she was trying to carry on a coherent conversation and at the same time fix him a memorable meal she was realizing the folly of that idea.  "I suppose one way to approach it is to ask for the permit and then when they deny it, fight from there." She said.

"Wait a minute." Lee said with obvious frustration.  "You're getting way ahead of me here."

"You asked the question, I just answered." Amy shot back.  Now she was the one getting mad.  Calling Lee had clearly been a mistake, she thought as she poured batter into her crepe pan and rolled it around.

"You're right." Lee said with some humility, briefly bowed his head and then looked up in Amy's eyes.  "Can we please back up a few steps?  Can you tell me why on earth you want to do this?  Where you got such an idea?" he almost pleaded.

Amy stared at Lee for a few seconds.  She needed to think for a bit and give her anger some time to subside.  It would have been easier if he'd just continued his rant and she could have just stayed mad at him and told him to get out.  Having to switch back to nice was a lot more difficult.  "Didn't any of what happened to Beth register with you?" she said as calmly as she could.

"Sure, but you're not going to challenge any laws based on that." He said matter-of-factly.  "If she hadn't been doing something illegal in the first place it wouldn't have happened."

"Lee." Amy stopped what she was doing to look at him, "Why did you call this afternoon?" she said with some resignation.

"What do you mean?  I thought you wanted my help." He replied.

"I do want your help." She paused.  "But it was clear when you left Linea and I after dinner that you were upset about the idea.  You know what happened to Beth and know that similar things happen to others, yet you don't seem to get it and want to fight me more than help me.  So ..." she looked down at the floor and then back up at Lee "why are you here?"

Lee was taken by complete surprise and wasn't too sure how to respond.  As he thought through things he could see that Linea was getting jumpy.  She wanted a response, but he wasn't ready to give one yet.  "Lee." He heard her say his name, but was unsure if it was a sympathetic tone or a 'answer-me-quickly-because-I'm-getting-frustrated-with-you-and-need-to-know-if-I-should-throw-this-crepe-in-your-face-or-put-chicken-in-it' tone.

"Linea, ... You have to realize what a strange trip this has been for me since you first called.  I was really excited to hear from you and see you again.  The conversation about Beth and Linea's sister was a little strange at first, but ... " Lee's comment trailed off briefly.  "Then finding out at dinner that night that your new best friend is a prostitute and then you coming out with the proclamation that you wanted to open a brothel was, well, a bit beyond anything I could even have imagined." Lee paused for a moment and then looked into Amy's eyes.  She could sense both his seriousness and hurt.  "Throughout college you were my compass." He continued.  "Every time I thought the world was spinning out of control I just thought of you and everything suddenly seemed OK again.  Even since college I've done that.  Then, in the course of a single day, you completely destroyed it all."

"Lee." She said with compassion.  "You know that you can't depend on any person to be any kind of compass.  No person on earth is even close to perfect."

"I know." He said.

"And." She went on.  "I haven't changed."

Lee looked at Amy almost in shock.  "You're kidding right?"  He stared into her eyes.  "You were probably the only virgin I knew in college.  There weren't even any rumors about you ever doing anything.  Do you know how many cold showers I took while I knew you?  How hard I worked at not even trying anything with you because I liked you so much and thought you were truly sincere about never doing it until you got married?  I wanted to get in your pants so bad I about went out of my mind.  After all of that you tell me that now you want to become a madam of a brothel, you want me to help you do it, and then say that you haven't changed."

This conversation wasn't going the way Amy wanted and was getting more and more difficult.  She'd known that Lee had liked her in college but had never really given any thought to him thinking of her sexually, much less struggling with it.  She was sure she'd never led him on in any way.  She suddenly realized how ignorant she'd been then and likely still would be if it weren't for Linea and a few others she'd met through the mission.  "I..." Amy began.

"I'm sorry." Lee interrupted her as he calmed down.  "I had no right to say all of that."

Amy looked into Lee's eyes.  "I really haven't changed." she began slowly trying to think of the right words.  "I've learned a lot over the past few years and a some of my views may have changed on the surface, ... but I haven't changed.  None of my deep convictions or beliefs have changed.  I'm still exactly who I was then, only ... a slight bit wiser." She paused.  "And, for what it's worth, I'm still a virgin and still intend to remain one until I get married." She said looking into Lee's eyes.  

"I'm still not getting something here." Lee said.  He was trying to be understanding but was feeling frustrated.

"Give me just a minute." Amy said and turned to finish their plates.  Lee tried to figure out how she would respond but wasn't getting anywhere.  He felt funny just sitting there while Amy did all of the work in the kitchen, but she'd already rebuffed him twice when he tried to help.  As he looked around her apartment he was immediately jealous.  Why couldn't he have found a place like this?  The building was a 130-year-old textile factory that had been converted into apartments.  Two of the walls were old brick, one with four large floor-to-ceiling arched windows overlooking 5th street 3 floors below.  There were oak beams across the ceiling that looked about sixteen inches high and eight inches wide.  Across the top of the beams Lee could see wide oak planks that he assumed, like in Amy's, were the floor of the apartment above.  In the large room they were in now Amy had a living room at one end, a kitchen at the other, and a dining table in the middle.  What a place, he thought.

"Lee" he heard Amy say a few minutes later and only then realized that she had put their plates on the table and was sitting there waiting for him.  He quickly left his perch at the counter to join her and forgot what it was he was even thinking about.

----------
Copyright 2003 JTH
May not be reproduced or distributed in whole or in part, in any form including electronic, without the expressed written permission of the author

... Continued

"When I first began working at the mission I worked with a lot of prostitutes and believed strongly that we needed to completely stamp it out.  I would have been the first in line voting for more money to enforce the prostitution laws." Amy went immediately into her response as they began to eat.  "But that wasn't even remotely realistic.  There are about a half million women in the US today working as providers.  If you arrested half of them tomorrow and locked them up for a year they'd be replaced within a few weeks - every single one of them." She said.  "There's enough demand for it and there are enough people willing to fulfill that demand that you'll never have much impact on it no matter what you do."

"That's quit the fatalistic attitude." Lee interjected with a slight grin.  "I never took you for the pessimistic type."

"It's not pessimism," Amy went on.  "It's realism.  We can fight it all we want.  We can spend all the money we want trying to stop it, but we never will." Amy paused.  "Tell me about your sex drive." she looked at Lee.  "You guys, you either really, really want it ... or need it, ... right?"

This wasn't the first time, and, Lee was quickly becoming aware, wouldn't be the last, that he'd find responding to Amy difficult.  "Something like that." He said almost sheepishly, acting like he wasn't really thinking about it.  He studied the brick walls of her living room far more intently than he ever would have otherwise.

"Are you ashamed of your sex drive?" Amy asked rather pointedly just as he was taking the final bite of a crepe.

Lee's eye's shot over to Amy before he could think and stop himself.  Had she asked what he thought she'd asked?  He was suddenly thankful that he hadn't spit his food out all over the table.

"Why are you so uncomfortable talking about it?" she went on.  "Or is it just me you are uncomfortable talking about it with?"

Amy had clearly changed dramatically, Lee thought.  She'd never in a million years have asked those questions when they were in college.  He thought he'd done an adequate job of mental preparation for today, but hadn't expected to have his very manhood challenged like this.  Uncomfortable talking about sex?  No way, he thought.  Certainly not with Amy.  "I enjoy it." He finally said and realized that not only was his mouth dry as cotton, but he hadn't exactly conveyed an air of confidence and strength.

Amy started to respond but realized that she'd pushed things a little too far too fast and needed to give Lee a chance to save himself.  She acted like she hadn't heard what she had.  

Though he'd never considered himself the stud of studs, Lee'd never had performance problems like this before.  Years ago he'd dreamed of the day Amy said anything to him about sex.  Now she was, and more directly than he could have imagined, and he just wanted to get away.  The more he thought about it the more ill at ease he felt.

"Lee." Amy finally said, breaking an uncomfortable silence.  "I know how you guys are.  You think about sex all day and I know that some of you can't stop thinking about it no matter what you do.  And... it's not just sex, but variety.  If you could, you'd screw a different chick every hour."

"I'm not quit that bad." Lee said.

"Maybe not, but I bet you're pretty close.  How long after you met Linea did you think about sex with her?"

Lee laughed a little.  "Was I that obvious?"

"No, actually you were very discreet." Amy grinned.  "But I know how you guys are and Linea is really, really cute."  

Lee looked down at the floor feeling like a kid who'd been caught peeking into the girls locker room.

"Over the last few years I've talked with a ton of people about sex.  Some guys either don't have much of a sex drive or repress it to the extent that they can ignore it.  They never have any problems with sexual temptation and a lot of them don't even have a very good understanding of guys who have a strong sex drive.  Then there are all you guys that have an almost uncontrollable sex drive.  It takes everything you have to keep it in check.  You struggle all day every day to focus on your job and other stuff instead of just thinking about sex all the time." Amy paused and realized that she was, consciously or not, projecting Lee into this latter group without really knowing if he was or not.  Then again, about 70% of guys are, so in all likelihood she was on the right track she thought.  "I'd always thought that you guys just simply needed to control your sex drive." She paused again and looked down at the floor.  "What I've learned though is that it's almost impossible for some of you, no matter how hard you try, and that all of the sexual stuff in our society just makes it that much worse.  The more I've studied it the more I've realized how out of whack our culture is.  It's like we pummel you all day every day with gobs of sexual stimulation and then just expect you to control all of your natural urges."

Lee was amazed at what he was hearing.  Not the content exactly, but who it was coming from.  He'd certainly never expected that Amy would be giving him a lesson about his own sex drive.  Then there was this little part of him that was feeling angry.  If she knew all of this, why wouldn't she hop in the sack with him?  He knew the answer and didn't disagree with it, but the anger was still there.  This conversation, he thought, would be a whole lot easier if she wasn't as cute.

"Even St. Augustine and Thomas Aquinas came to that conclusion." Amy continued, knowing that she was making some progress.  "Aquinas said that prostitution was 'necessary for an orderly society.'  He didn't think it was necessarily good, but that it was necessary.  What's kind of amazing is that compared to our society today they had almost no sexual stimulation and yet still considered it necessary.  So today we say that we're going to tempt you with sexual stuff all day long, and then say that you can't do anything about it."

Lee didn't know how to respond.  He just stared at Amy in disbelief.

"It's almost like saying that we're going to make a law that selling food is illegal.  If you can't cook for yourself or find someone to cook for you for free - tough!" she said.  

Interesting analogy, Lee thought after what may have been one of the best meals he'd ever had.  "Get tired of your own cooking?" Amy added before he could finish his thought.  "Tough."  

Lee was rarely at a loss for words, but Amy was silencing him like nobody ever had before.  "Be careful reading between the lines though." She added with a wry grin just as he was thinking about it.

####

Copyright 2003 JTH
May not be reproduced or distributed in whole or in part, in any form including electronic, without the expressed written permission of the author

... The final part of Chapter 4 (sorry this was so long


"Look."  She said after a few seconds silence.  "I'm not as off my rocker as you're thinking.  What we're doing with our current laws isn't working and never will." She paused.  "In fact it's hurting.  We need a different approach.  We need to be rational about it and bring the industry out of the shadows so that we can deal with the real crimes ... like the women and kids who are forced into it against their will, like the jerks who know that they can beat up Beth and rob her because they know she won't go to the cops.  Making it illegal doesn't benefit anyone and doesn't reduce it, it only makes life more dangerous for the people who are forced into it or who choose to do it.  On the other hand, making it legal or decriminalizing it won't harm anyone.  What it will do though, is reduce the ability of pimps to enslave women and it'll make it safer for everyone.  And Lee, think about who that is.  Four percent of women in the US will work as a provider at some point.  Every single one is someone's daughter, or sister, or niece or whatever.  And ... some of these, at least those who never get a criminal record, will go on to be teachers, police officers, journalists, sales people, and any other number of things.  There are a lot of cons to making it illegal, and no pros.  Yet there are nothing but pros to legally allowing it.  What we're doing just doesn't make sense." She paused again.  "We can't keep sticking our heads in the sand."

Lee didn't necessarily disagree with prostitution, but didn't agree with it either and couldn't believe that there weren't enormous problems to allowing it.  However, he also knew Amy well enough to know that she'd likely looked at this thing from every possible viewpoint and then a few more.  This wasn't the right time to get into any major arguments.  For one he didn't have time, secondly he was feeling a little unsteady after all he'd heard over the past hour, but perhaps most of all, he realized that he needed to do a lot more research before confronting Amy with anything.  He was sure to loose any argument he started now.  There was one thing though.  "How can you sit here and say all of that while at the same time proclaim that you intend to remain a virgin until you're married?"  Lee asked, with a strong confidence that quickly began to fade.

"I don't drink either." Amy replied.  "And I strongly advise that every single person that comes through the mission give it up as well.  Yet, despite all of the horrible harm that's caused by alcohol, there's no way I'd advocate trying prohibition again." She paused.  "Now, think about our sex drive compared to alcohol.  There is nothing natural in us driving us to drink other than pure desire, yet we were made with an innate need for sex.  If we can't keep people from drinking when they simply want too, how will we ever keep people from having sex when they feel a strong natural need for it?" She paused.  "I'll be the first one to advise people to wait until they're married.  I still think that that's the best option."  "But I also know human nature." Amy added quietly as she looked down at the floor.

"Well I guess that tells me what you think about me." Lee replied and stood to leave.

"Lee!" Amy shouted.  "Grow up!" she added before she could stop herself.

Lee stopped, but didn't know what to say.  He was angry and hurt.  His emotions were running in circles a thousand miles an hour.  "Are you really so much better than me?" he stated more than asked.

Amy had learned early on how important it was to control her emotions.  As she progressed in the business world she'd continually refined her ability to display just the right amount, regardless of what she might be feeling inside.  She'd watched too many women kill their careers by crying in the middle of a meeting or saying something 'un-businesslike'.  This time though, she couldn't stop the tears that were beginning to fall from her eyes.  The pain in what Lee'd said pierced every part of her at once.

Lee looked briefly in Amy's eyes, turned, and left.

-------

Amy rolled over and looked at the clock beside her bed.  2:00 AM.  It'd been 5 hours since Lee had left.  She was tired and needed sleep, but couldn't stop her mind from racing.  About all she and Lee had talked about was sex.  She hadn't gotten to tell him about the other aspects Linea's job - about the intimacy and companionship that she provides and about how many guys just want someone who'll listen to them.  Not many perhaps, but some.  Worse, she never really got around to other issues like the simple civil rights issues involved.


####


Copyright 2003 JTH
May not be reproduced or distributed in whole or in part, in any form including electronic, without the expressed written permission of the author

Not sure if you're simply making a comparison or a compliment, but either way thank you.  She was an amazing writer.

It'll be interesting to see where the rest of this story goes ...

Nice story, and very topically appropriate for the TER DB, but there is no way I could begin to put this on the level of Ayn Rand.