A hobbyist's work is never done

I was recently reflecting on what we, as hobbyists, have to do before, during and after a date. The list keeps growing:

Write a nice introductory letter and wait anxiously for a response.
Supply name, work phone number, soc sec number and dental records.
Prepay via non-refundable bank debit.
Book a hotel room, not too cheap, not too expensive.
Buy flowers, candles, oils, perfumes, etc, etc, etc.
Leave phone message with room number information, trying desperately not to sound like a dumb-ass.
Take multivitamins, caffeine pills and protein supplements.
Drink a gallon of pineapple juice.
Pace around room or watch TV nervously between the scheduled appointment time and 15 minutes later, when she finally shows up. (Alternatively, visit the john about 4 times due to previous activity.)
Pretend to not be overwhelmed when she finally does arrive.
Try not to singe arm hair while lighting candles (yes, this happened to me).
Pace yourself to be able to hold out for the entire session, or take Viagra if multiples are offered.
Beg father time to SLOW DOWN! (Alternatively, beg her to SPEED UP!)
Agonize over the amount of tip to offer.
Crash big time when the date is finally over.
Write a review that includes some (but not all) of the juicy details in the first paragraph and the remainder in the second, while trying to adhere to TER's cryptic rules for submission.
Run a speling and grammar checking.  ;^)
Hope and pray that she's not laughing at you behind your back or blacklisting you from seeing other providers.
Come up with a lame-ass excuse for your SO as to why the monthly balance has dipped so low lately.

This got me thinking ... is it worth it?
You betcha!!!!!

Did I miss anything?


-- Modified on 10/2/2002 11:13:11 AM