I'm kind of in a funk.

I had what can only be summed up as a bad session.

I am new to this. So far this has been my third "date" and with only my second lady. The first one was wonderful, but I can't use her as a reference. (FBSM that went above and beyond and I don't want to let that out. And since most FS ladies won't take FBSM references...)

I looked high and low for a lady that I liked, that would see me without references. The donation was somewhat high, but I viewed it not only as hopefully a great time, but also something of an investment since I'd have a good reference that I could use to see some of the other wonderful ladies.

Over the course of two seperate days I spent more than 7 hours waiting on the lady due to cancellations, lost keys, etc. I was very, very polite however, and gave her as much time as she needed so that she would not feel stressed, and we could have an enjoyable time. Finally, after a further hour and a half of waiting, I had a session with her. I was very happy to see her, thought she looked beautiful and told her as much. I told her it was ok about the waiting, as I just wanted a pleasant session on both ends. She kept telling me how wonderfully patient I was with her, and that if I ever needed anything she'd be glad help me.

I booked an hour and a half session, so that we could take our time, be gentle and slow and get to know each other. After 30 minutes of the initial talking, hugging and getting to know each other, we started to do a little more.(trying to be polite here) Within minutes she was urging me to finish. At first I thought perhaps she was trying to help me achieve more than one release, but no, she was honestly trying to get me done and out the door.

This was very frustrating and disappointing. After a few more minutes she started to complain about going too long. (All the while telling me not to do this, not to do that, not to get too energetic, etc.)I was very surprised that not only was she not going out of her way to make me feel better about all of my waiting and all of the problems I had been patient with, or at least not be a clock watcher, she was actually trying to get me out the door early!

Finally after an hour total time of me being there, I cleaned up, spent a little time talking to her, said a polite goodbye, and left. Theres quite a bit more to the story that frustrated me as well, but I don't like going into too many details. She did mention several times of my writing her a nice review.

Now I'm in a quandary as to what I should do. If I write a review explaining exactly what happened, I can't give her anything but a bad score, probably a 3 or so. If I do this however, theres no way I'm going to get a reference from her, which means I'm back to having almost no one that will see me, and one fewer available of those that will. However if I give her a good review, I feel like I'm lying, defeating the whole purpose of reviews, and letting the next guy have a bad experience as well.

So what do I do? My entire day and a lot of gas has been wasted, plus a sizable donation. The only thing I can salvage out of it is a reference that will allow me to see some nicer (hopefully) ladies, but I don't feel right in writing a good review. Do I throw it away, just not write any review at all, or just write a carefully middle of the road review? (I don't feel right about that either.)

Help me out ladies and gentlemen.

This behavior on the lady's part is egregious. Of course you write a review. That's why we're here.

Having a reference is a separate issue. In the long run, I am of the firm opinion that it is better to join a screening service like date-check or preferred411 and to see ladies that accept these for referral purposes. It is much easier and quicker for all concerned to do the screening this way.

Of Course you review, yes yes yes, you say exactly how you felt the session went, if she was pretty you say that as well, or if her figure was spectactular you say that as well, but you also list the negative things too..very very important! Listen, for some gentlemen, having the time AND the cash to do this is limited now a days, it's important that you tell your fellow hobbyists and alert them, It would be like a Provider not telling other providers that a certain hobbyist doesn't leave the full amount in the envelope or that he's a bit too rough etc etc.  There are sooooooo many Providers out there that would fit your need and to waste..YES you read correctly WASTE your hard earned cash on someone who truly is not up to par is not fair, nor is it the right thing to do!
so YES, review and be honest!
and i'm really sorry this happened to you!
Jay

Her chief complaint seemed to be that she was close to her monthly visit.

This led to a most of her no's, don't get too energetic, pushing me away with her hands during intimacy, and complaining of being sore. While I have no desire to cause her pain if she was sore, I do wish she would not have scheduled me if she knew she was close and was going to be sore, or even if she knew there was going to be a possibility of it.

After we stopped, I mentioned perhaps we could take a shower for the remainder of the time, so we could still enjoy each others company intimately, as I love soaping down a beautiful woman. After an initial no, she joined me for perhaps 2 minutes, all the while complaining about getting her hair wet. When I touched her back and grazed the tip of her hair with my wet fingers she yelped even more that I was getting her hair wet.

All in all it was VERY frustrating. Especially since there was no relief whatsoever. She actually went so far as to explain to me condescendingly that sometimes nervousness can lead to a lack of performance, but that she could not continue as she was sore. I am somewhat like Gregory, in that the more upset I get, the more polite I get. I also prefer to wait and take a step back before making a hasty remark. So I did not erupt with comments that it had nothing to do with performance problems, but a lack of companionship.

Days later I'm still disgusted that I ever contacted her. Especially as she is a well reviewed lady on several boards. Even odder is that when I first arrived she went into a rant about a fellow hobbyist that she did not like, why she did not like him, and the reasons she had turned him away at her door. Very unprofessional.

I do want to save any other gentlemen from an experience such as mine. My uncertainy of whether to review also stems from my newness and a concern of retaliation, or her having my reviews simply deleted. (Newbie versus established rarely goes well for the newbie) Of course I will be honest and not unfair, but I know she is not going to be flattered.

Thank you for your helpful and supportive comments. This will be my first review.

I agree.  Review.

It's not that hard to satisfy the needs of a provider's reference check.  In many cases it seems they are willing to take work information etc in lieu of.

My short time in this hobby has told me to stick to well reviewed TER providers so we are counting on fellow hobbyists to share the truth.

Do it....it's your duty.

write the review.  you will get your references later, and you will still have your self esteem.

Don't do it, so you can get a reference, and you will have lost your self esteem, and remember:  there's no guarantee this woman will give you a review.  she didn't give you a good time, did she?  

you can discredit her performance because she "rushed you."  Yes, you can mention her attitude in the review and in the two non-scored comments.

I agree with the posts above. Perhaps other guys have met with this lady and had similar experiences, but didn't write a review for whatever reason. Don't you wish you'd been warned in advance? Reviews and references should be based on honesty, not a tit-for-tat deal between the lady and gentleman, which makes both systems rather useless.

I think Gregory's suggestion that you join a service like date-check is a good one. Many of us accept this as a method of verification and it also has the advantage that it's easy to verify guys at short notice.