Can you, swallowpee?

The OP himself is pathetic

... from a few years ago:

"Twas the escort before Christmas, when all through the incall  
Not a place was unfucked, not even in the hall  
The stockings were wore on her legs with care,  
In hopes that a man would soon be there.  
 
The condoms were all placed by the bed in there case,  
While the escort tried on many different pieces of lace.  
And an email was received, and an invitation it was,  
Looks like a man is horny, just because.  
   
When out in the hallway there arose such a clatter,  
She sprang to the door to stop the chatter.  
She opened the door and was not in sight,  
A man walked in with unbelievable delight.  
 
With a glimmer in his eye,  
And she was sure she knew why.  
When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,  
But a dick popped out just like a spear.  
   
With the host such a man, so lively and quick,  
She knew in a moment she was going to suck dick.  
More rapid than eagles his semen came,  
And he whistled, and shouted and called her by name.  
   
As they ran to the bed feeling so high,  
When she met with an obstacle, she mounted that guy.  
So up on the roof-top they were heard,  
With moans and groins they never said a word.  
 
And then, in a twinkling, she heard in his voice  
They both simultaneously rejoice.  
As he drew out his head, and was turning around,  
Suddenly a warm wash cloth made is dick bound.  
 
He was covered in joy, from his head to his foot,  
And his face was all smiles that would stay put.  
A bundle of Toys she pulled out from a sack,  
She laid there playing with herself on her back.  
 
Her eyes-how they twinkled! Her nipples so erect!  
Was her pussy still wet? So the guy checked!  
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,  
And he used his tongue to make her blow.  
 
The lips of a pussy he held tight in his mouth,  
He became arouse and she headed south.  
They managed to both work together,  
And both felt lighter than a feather.  
 
He was chubby and plump, right where it counts,  
He laughed when tickled and made her head bounce.  
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,  
Soon she let him know he had nothing to dread.  
 
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,  
He filled her mouth, and made one last jerk.  
And laying on the bed, her beauty shows,  
He gave her a nod and put on his clothes.  
 
He sprang to the door, with a sweet whistle,  
And away he left out the door like a missile.  
But he got a kiss before he was out of sight,  
“Marry Christmas to all, and to all fuck-right!”

Those names sound familiar.

But who is CPA? Sounds like a total asshole.

The original “My Favorite Things” popularized by Andrews is sung by various artists,  and gets the airplay along with many other Xmas songs.

If anytime of year, though, then Happy Holidays to you and safe Hobbying

I’ll try my hand at the repeat verse:

When she sneers at me
When she slaps my face
When I’m feeling berated

I simply remember my BSDM and then I don’t feel so hated

Ha ha! (And your verse is mean and clean in meter interpretation when it comes to matching syllable for syllable, along with the rhyme and getting the message across. Good one! No!  I mean bad one—painful! Lol!