I see a lot of comments about how you all THINK that we don't really "get the big O" whenever we are with you all or that it's not probable. I, for one, try to get it every single time. This is because I feel that one of the things you gents need as well as want is the knowledge that you  are able to please a woman. At least that is what most of my friends would like to know. At one time or another they have expressed to me things like..."She says she just doesn't like sex and I just want to make sure it's not me."

So my question here is....does it really matter to you whether or not we get it...or just as long as you get it, you're fine?

It matters very much that you get it.  If you don't get to enjoy an orgasm of your own, the session isn't complete.

Swim

yes, but no pressure '

I have three passions in my life - open water sailing especially in windy or stormy weather, fast cars and giving pleasure (not limited to the big O) to a lady. I take giving pleasure seriously, but my ego is not invested in it. If you prefer it differently I am very teachable. But if it's just not going to happen, my ego will not take a hit, and I will still be able to enjoy our session. I would rather a lady just tell me she wants to move on (that feels delightful, but I want your cock!)
than to fake an O. I'm too familiar with the biological response to be fooled by a fake O and that really annoys me.  Thank you for asking this question, Ashlyn  - I appreciate your sensitivity to the gent's needs.

we can't expect a provider to have an orgasm every time she has sex with one of her clients.  I appreciate it, but don't expect it.  I would rather the lady relaxes and enjoys her time with me, her client, rather than that she feels it is necessary to have or fake an orgasm.

...when the lady I'm with has a screaming, mattress-soaking, lamp-shattering orgasm.  Or maybe 4 of them.  Don't be reserved or shy about it.  That's a great part of the experience for me, let's both enjoy it all.

I want the session to be as enjoyable for you as it is for me.

tell what is fake and what is real? You would probably have to have at least 5 O's in a session for a fair comparison.

as much as receive, and if I can help with a woman having an orgasm, it makes the date much more complete for me.

Yes!!! I would even love to hear her tell me what would get her off because her job is to get me off and it's the very least I can do, plus it would make me feel like I gave her a gift as well!!

Whether a provider gets an orgasm or not. Your job is to give the guy an orgasm, after all he is the one paying you. Whether  a provider gets an orgasm is not on my top priority list going into the appointment. This doesn't mean we don't want you providers to have a good time.

Why would we need the knowledge in paid companionship that we know how to please a women.
Decades  a go in the hobby guys wouldn't even perform daty.

I think some of you ladies have the hobby upside down. Most guys are probably going to say they care just not to hurt your feelings.  

For ME anyway, its not about just me getting off.  I can do that all by myself thank you.  What I crave from a provider is a fullfilling erotic experience with a woman who is into it.  Lets be honest, social security is on the horizon and if I am with a hot younger woman and I arouse her to the O, its a huge ego stroke and very satisfying and makes my pleasure much enhanced.  The OTHER side of the sword is, ladies, IF you are going to fake it, be damn good at it because there is nothing quite as big a turn off as a woman faking one poorly.  I'd never see a woman (civvie or provider) again who I caught faking the O.
MVR

you sound like my type

so I guess my answer is "yes"

Sure I want to enjoy the journey.  Sure I want to get off.  But I do have an ego and would like to know I am pleasing you in some way other than handing you an envelope.

Having said that though... I abhor fake O's.  And by the way it is pretty easy to tell if it is fake no matter how good an actress you are.  

Fake O's make me feel like I was 10 years old again and my dad tells me I play basketball just like Michael Jordan.  

Be real or don't do it.  I appreciate the honesty much more.

No. I don't need it, but it sure is more satisfying and enjoyable when I can get lady to the promised land! I would not like the fake "Oh baby Oh baby" from a lady, but as I like to say, I do get off when the lady gets off. It's just better for me that way.

C_K

It would be fine for me to say that as long as you do your job and get me off, then whether you moan,shake and groan or not is really none of my business.

But, that would be a lie.

Instead my male ego is stoked by thinking I've given you a great time.  It's like kicking a field goal or any other sports metaphor you care to insert.

Sorry to report, but that's just the way guys are wired up.

Now as to whether or not your orgasms are real or not, I freely admit that we have no idea as to whether they are or not; and frankly, just thinking about that is giving me the willies, so I don't think about it.

I will probably sound/look like a dork but here it goes.

I started this hobby two years ago after 6 years without any...wife had passed.

Now my wife...she was my first and only so my second was in this hobby.  I actually started and still wonder if I am doing things the right way(is there a right way or a wrong way) lol.  Oral for me was new both ways...my wife didn't allow it...I love learning, but who knows if I am doing it ok if it is all faked.  I can only go by what I am told right!  Oral is not the only thing I have been studying!

Every woman and man is different in the way they get to the finish line...I find very little communication between partners as to how to get there.  I am guilty as well...it is hard to explain....  For a lady..where the guy erupts she knows he had an orgasm, for the guy...we have no clue for the most part.  On occasion when a lady becaomes naturally wet I get excited, but I have also been told that some ladies do not even when turned on...so how does one tell?

I do think that there are those that only want the 15 minutes session to use a woman to get off and run...not caring about anything else.  I also believe that there are those guys and gals that are complete givers and are most happy when divulging.  Then there is the mutual connection, I like that part myself...I do think that there are times when I meet a woman and I just wanna fuck like bunnies and not say a word, others I want to do the slow and sensual thing.

So, in the end, YES I would love to have the lady orgasm on my tongue, fingers or cock.  But only have her words to take for it and I do for the most part.

My difficulty is maybe I read too much in the fact that it is supposed to take a woman much more to reach climax but once there some have the ability to have multiples.  When the activity part has only lasted 5-6 minutes and I hear a woman say she had an orgasm...I can not help but wonder if it is true or faked.

So I have a question in return...can women have orgasms in short order and has all my reading been a waste of time? lol

In the end, I am learning and having fun doing it...whos next? :P~  I hope school never ends!

It does boost the ego to know that a woman is getting sexual pleasure from you. That being said, I know of a few women who have a really hard time getting to the "Big O" in the casual manner that a session with a provider brings about. That is not to say they don't feel pleasure or are unhappy.

Some women need deeper feelings with the person they are with in order to "let go" enough to experience an orgasm, granted there are probably not many providers that fall into that category but you never know.

Personally I am selfish sometimes, with a provider, and don't go after her orgasm. And then sometimes I go there with the whole intention of trying to make her weak and sweaty. It is a lot like a civvie relationship with a mixture of give and take.

b-

Hey - I agree with you. I was with a lovely lady not long ago, having a truly wonderful time. At a certain point in our time together she started with the o baby I'm going to cum routine. I was thinking, please o please do not fake one and ruin the moment. Then she pulled me so tight to her that I could not breath, bit me on the shoulder and worked my crank so hard with her spasms that I was worried about taking some damage, let alone staying "in". My #19. I was very relieved, not to mention, happy!  Because nothing turns me off like a fake O, except perhaps a fake O combined with O baby don't you want to cum with me?
Cheers - Gregory

I agree with you. I have several times been with a lady, enjoyed a lot of mutual pleasure, but she did not have an O. But we clicked, so I'd see her again. By the 2nd or 3rd date, she'd let go and have the O. After we became better acquainted, more comfortable with each other, and more accustomed to each other sexually. So I do think there is an element of what you describe with some ladies.

I'm pretty sure that the overwhelming number of guys will say "yes, it does matter to us." (myself included).  Why shouldn't it?  To a lesser degree, I'm sure it's true for you ladies as well, despite being a "relative" certainty.  (Note: I said "relative," there are times I can't orgasm).  So, when a guy doesn't or can't orgasm, I know there is at least "some" disappointment.

Isn't there ladies?

For me, I do care, because I want who ever I'm with to enjoy our time together.  I think part of the reason why it's amplified even more on men is for two reasons:

1.  It's *very* difficult for a guy to tell if a woman has orgasm or not.

So much can be faked.  I've even met a woman that could fake the contractions in the vagina and even simulate them in her anus as well.

Also, many men (in general) either have no clue or just have a difficult time bringing a woman to orgasm - even if they want to.


2.  We are paying you ladies.

For some of us men, there's some insecurities b/c we are paying (this is beyond the typical insecurities that we men have).  There's also a natural tendency for the lady to give the impression that the client was "the best ever or absolutely amazing."  Obviously, this impression presents a more likely chance for repeat business.

Now, I do want to stress that this is part of the insecurities of MEN and does not necessarily reflect reality.  (Or, maybe it does?)  LOL.

Ultimately, I've been working on concentrating on enjoying the experience and sharing that with the person I'm with.  Imho, that is what sex is really about, it's not the orgasm, it's the time and journey spent with each other.

My favs are my favs because they get into it as much as I do. If I am traveling and I see a new girl it is not a necessity for me that she have an orgasm...but I'm probably not going to call her again the next time I'm in town.

In all honesty it didn't used to matter to me at all that much. I'd rather not have the lady doing the whole fake moaning routine. Just let me finish and have a pleasant attitude about the whole thing.  This was what I was used to from picking up street walkers and non GFE "one and done" ladies. That has changed as I have hobbied longer and found some great ladies who really do get into it.

Im relatively new to the hobby.

My professional experience has taught me that the primary drive in all people is thier desire to feel special. Somehow different (better) from all the rest of the world.

So yes I would say on relationship aspect. But these are not relationships. Providers are hired help. Do you care if your maid enjoys cleaning your toilet? No.

So in my opinion guys who care if providers come or not are fooling themselves. Is that bad? Not if it makes them happy.  

but lets face it, I book sessions for me to get an O. If its O day for the provider then its even better.

On the ability and talent of a provider of giving me an orgasm.  

If they can't achieve that then most likely I wouldn't return.

Women are not all the same just like you guys are not all the same.   I have one guy that likes me to use my teeth when doing a BJ and I mean bite down hard -- most would think that is painful or at least uncomfortable, right? Well, women are the same.  Some women like clitoral stimulation for others it could be too sensitive for direct stimulation. Some like their nipples sucked and for others that just wouldn't do  much for them.  Some women don't achieve any orgasms at all.  But that doesn't mean they don't enjoy sex. If a woman knows her own body and the joy it can provide HER, then she is more apt to be able to achieve an orgasm with a man.  She will have first hand (no pun intended) knowledge of what she likes and can gently guide the man to touch in a certain way and in a certain place.   Intimacy not just fucking usually helps to achieve the O.

 Ways to tell if she has an orgasm?  This is not an all inclusive list but here are a few ways --flushed cheeks, wetness (menopausal women may be dryer down there), spasms, legs and body stiffens.  I do all of these things to some degree but even bigger clues --- I forget to breathe and my eyes roll to the back of my head, especially if it's a strong orgasm.  

Oh, and sometimes it does happen in 5 minutes or less.  Each encounter is different and all depends on different factors, such as comfort, intimacy, your partners passion and eagerness.

It is important to me that the lady I'm with gets some pleasure. However, I don't want her to feel pressure from me that she has to get the big O.  I know I'm far from the world's greatest lover, but I always hope the lady experiences some pleasure during our time together.  The sessions are a lot better when we both are having fun.

It's important to me to know that thew woman got her pleasure, too. That being said, I really do not want the "gift" of a fake orgasm... that takes away from the experience greatly for me. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Maybe next time.  

We all want to have a good time, we are in this business because naturally we are sensual woman, who have a Passionate flare. Our sexuality we are for the most part in tune with. It's personality and the ability to become comfortable with the Gentlemen we see as well as make them feel comfortable with us.  When there is a true connection and it's there on both sides,we can both just enjoy our time together. I know I want to have an orgasm, every time would be great, but in this biz or in civie relatoinships, that may not happen all the time. I can still have great time, with me its the Quality of the whole encounter that I appreciate.
To feel that All woman in this business are out to illude you by faking an O to please you or get rid of you, I think thats very narrowminded. Then again if this is your experience with this biz for the most part, you may want to look at yourself and why this is happening to you, it sounds as though it may be tuely your issue alone. The Gentlemen I see mostly are engaging Gentlemen who also are interested in a two sided encounter.Mutual interaction and interest is needed for a good connection.
If you are entering this with the sole purpose of "gettin some" without getting to know the Lady or care if she gets off or not, this may very well be why you are feeling she is faking or just wanting it over with you.
If you have done your research, and found a Lady who is like what you are looking for this should not be an issue.
We don't all orgasm all the time but that does not mean we didn't still Enjoy Ourselves and the Gentlemen we see. I get off on the whole experience and the pleasure we share together.

Well this is just one sexy gals opinion is all....Play safe everyone!

xoxox
Nicole

I appreciate your remarks. This pretty much describes my experience. Sometimes for whatever reason a connection is not there. It's chemistry, not a lack of effort or caring on anyone's part (well, except for a few jerks here and there). But when the chemistry is there, it is truly special.

In the past I really didn't care whether the provider had an orgasm--my only interest was in having my wife have one.   This has changed with only a couple of providers with whom I am very close.   I want all the girls to enjoy being with me, but other than with my wife, I have to really care about the provider for me to care whether I can give her an orgasm.  Just me I guess.

Well this is an interesting question. I always want to please the woman I am with and want to know what they like. I do not however worry whether they have an orgasm. I'll do eveything I can to help you but if it is not to be that is OK.  I want  to feel a connection with cuddling holding hands and all that gfe stuff.

So anybody who see's me spare me the fake orgasms. I don't need them. My masculinity will not be affected. However I really want you to like me and feel a connection  with me so if you must, fake that Of course to see me is to feel a connection so I am sure you won't have to pretend

So I guess my answer is no but not as you say just as long as I get it. I just happen to understand it is possible a woman just might not have an orgasm every time I have sex with them no matter how much I want please them.

-- Modified on 10/20/2008 7:02:33 PM

I don't know about most other guys, but it would be cool if the lady had as great a time as I did. I know, it's your 'job' and we give you donations for your time. But we picked you. Why go through all the time looking on here for a lady a guy wants to spend his time and money with for a quick, I don't know, fix? For instance, I'm going to see a lovely young lady in December. We're going to meet for dinner first. Cuisine of her choosing. I'm going to have her favorite drink in the room when we venture up after. She didn't tell me to do this. She said we didn't have to do this, but I basically insisted on it. I want to do something nice, not to mention spend time and get to know her beforehand. Not just give a donation for her time. She asked me what I like and want, and I told her I want to give as much as receive. I would very much like her to be as happy and content with our evening together as I would be. And if I bring her to the 'big O', even better! Why should I be the only one who benefits? Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, YES, I would like my lady friend to have as much of a wonderful experience with me that she told me I will have with her. Does this help?

I think it's a lot hotter when you get the big O too. So far, so good, lol. It's not so much an ego thing, it's more of an esteem thing. I'd rather have a provider just admit she didn't get one rather than fake it for my sake.

in that I don't go into a date making getting an 'O' my goal. In fact, I have had a few dates where the 'O' time never got around to me. Rather, I spent a wonderful hour or two exploring the many delights of her body, slowly building her to an 'O' through caresses, and erotic, sensual DATY (as opposed to the three-minute perfunctory kind seen in porn movies as a stepping stone to the man 'getting his'.)

One of my best hobby moments was spending almost the whole time bringing her oral delights. It was our first meeting (we did in subsequent meetings enjoy more of the 'acronyms') andmy mind still goes back to that sensual feast of five senses.

I do hope I can bring a lady to an 'O'. But as long as she has had a nice time with my touch, her smile is enough reward. She needn't feel she needs to fake anything.

If it was all about my 'O', I could accomplish that by myself.

Personally, I find it offensive if a woman fakes an orgasm.. I need no ego stroking.  I'd rather learn what you respond to, and give you that, than fake something so simple.

It matters to me a great deal that the woman I'm with enjoy it as much as I do.  Even better if she O's.  For instance, the woman I was with the other night O'd quite nicely - hard to fake the biological response I saw - but I didn't.  And that's ok, because I had probably one of the most erotic experiences of my life exploring sexuality with her.  It meant alot to me that she got to complete.

Personally the O isn't a big deal... yeah they're nice to have but not the be all and end all.  I honestly don't do this for the release.  Releasing is easy.  There are far more intangible qualities I am looking for when I employ a provider's time.

GFE here.  I want a good lover & I flatter myself that I am a good...  striving to be great...  lover.  This is my goal & is met most of the time.
While visits vary, my ATF is a spectacular lover.  She told me she is difficult to get to O, but I have not found it to be so.  

On our last encounter, as we lie together, she confessed shed been on the verge of a huge mutual O.  I found her nipples hard...  just could not resist taking them in my mouth.  Soon I was between her legs...  When she had taken all she could, we lie together totally content.  Neither of us are in a hurry to move.  
skb

I hate fake O's, but for a different reason -- I cum quietly. Some moaning, some shuddering, some tensing (and it feels fantastic!) -- but most men are simply dead-set on getting me to scream and thrash around (like they saw the previous providers do who were likely faking after taking a cue from the porn industry...)
There's really nothing more awkward than, at the end of the session, the guy saying "I wish I had gotten you to cum" and having to say "well... I did, twice..."

Faking it simply leaves the guys confused as to what's real and what's not -- why be in tune with the woman's body when you can tell when she came by how loudly she screamed?