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Re: Why would you fall for a client?
Mscurious 1441 reads
posted
1 / 31
Falling for a client

Hello everyone.I have a concern.I have a crush on my regular client and he doesn't know.The sex is amazing,he's very very attractive and the way he looks at me just makes me want more of him.He pays for my time every week but I just don't know why I feel this way about him.I'm trying to keep our relationship business like but it gets difficult.What should I do?Any providers ever been in this situation before?Hobbyists have you ever fell for a provider before?Any advice comments and similar experiences are welcome

-- Modified on 4/25/2016 5:56:25 PM

Debra_Hollander See my TER Reviews 515 reads
posted
2 / 31
Depends on your personal lives.

Are you in a committed relationship?

Is he?

If the answer to either, or both, of those questions is yes, then take a break from seeing him for awhile.  Sort out your feelings to find whether you're just super-attracted to him, or if you're actually getting your emotions involved.  

Nothing wrong with a strong physical attraction or even a sex-crush.... they usually wear off or just play themselves out over time.  ;-)

 
However, if you're both single & available.... only YOU can decide how to proceed.  
Some people, clients & providers alike, do not want to cross that boundary.  

Good luck!!!

 
xoxoxoxoxoxooxxooxoxoxxooxoxoxxoxooxxooxoxoxoxoxxoo

Nooner: A sexual encounter at lunchtime; especially one that is illicit

DT_lover 188 Reviews 508 reads
posted
3 / 31
It's a match made in heaven.

He enjoys sex and you are good at it.  He appreciates your skills  Go for it!

TheGovernor 142 Reviews 399 reads
posted
4 / 31
My Take on this......

It would go against my better judgement,  but if you are both single and you are both comfortable with one another, why not break the rules.  Only one caveat;  you must stop providing, and he must stop hobbying!  No If's Ands or Buts!  It works both ways.  More than likely this will make or break it for your relationship!  And if it makes your relationship, it is starting off with a very strong bond.  There is no doubt you have chemistry, but there has to be general commonalities you share.  In time you will know whether this can work out.   I wish you good luck.

I would quit hobbying tomorrow if I would be fortunate meeting the right lady,  civvie or call girl!  Any takers😊
Posted By: Mscurious
Hello everyone.I have a concern.I have a crush on my regular client and he doesn't know.The sex is amazing,he's very very attractive and the way he looks at me just makes me want more of him.He pays for my time every week but I just don't know why I feel this way about him.I'm trying to keep our relationship business like but it gets difficult.What should I do?Any providers ever been in this situation before?Hobbyists have you ever fell for a provider before?Any advice comments and similar experiences are welcome

-- Modified on 4/25/2016 5:56:25 PM

NoYellowEnvelope 407 reads
posted
5 / 31
Why does she have to quit her job?

And why does the guy need to stop hobbying? I think that's something for the two of them to work out together. Some couples are fine with "open" relationships.  Others are more, uh, traditional.  

If it were me as the client, in some universe in which neither one of us is in a committed relationship, I wouldn't necessarily make her quit her job but we'd have a long talk about it. My concern about her being an escort would be because I worry about the safety of people I love, thus I'd worry about her all the time.  I'd quit hobbying, though, since the reason I do it would not exist.

Zak0326 33 Reviews 366 reads
posted
6 / 31
I know One Couple Doing Well who met this way

It can work and I wish you luck. I'm a romantic.  

I know a guy who saw a provider for a year as a paid client. Never told her how he felt. She was ready to get out of the business and opened up to him. They were both single. They walked out of the lifestyle together. Six months later they were engaged. Been married for about eight year with two kids.  

Happiest couple I know. When you know you know.

As for me. I haven't loved in a long time. Yes I want it eventually with the right person but I don't look at a provider with the thought of falling in love with them.  

Sometimes it happens when you least expect it. Some of the relationships I have made thru this hobby are stronger than the relationships with people in my personal life.  

Good luck.  

 
Posted By: Mscurious
Hello everyone.I have a concern.I have a crush on my regular client and he doesn't know.The sex is amazing,he's very very attractive and the way he looks at me just makes me want more of him.He pays for my time every week but I just don't know why I feel this way about him.I'm trying to keep our relationship business like but it gets difficult.What should I do?Any providers ever been in this situation before?Hobbyists have you ever fell for a provider before?Any advice comments and similar experiences are welcome

-- Modified on 4/25/2016 5:56:25 PM

lester_prairie 12 Reviews 403 reads
posted
7 / 31
same as

Same risks as any potential relationship.  Maybe he is seeing a provider specifically because he doesn't want entanglements.

Both sides in this business attain stigma -- not just in the public eye, but in our own views of each other.

It's a minefield.

But ... worse that can happen is that he will stop seeing you.   Well, okay, that's not quite the worse.  The worse is that he'll be a sly fox, get free sex, and then dump you

rangerc79 195 Reviews 369 reads
posted
8 / 31
what she said....

what Debbie said.....nothing wrong with physical attraction or "Sex-crush" which usually do wears off and play itself out.  

I do have a "sex-crush" with my ATF, i don't know how she feels, but she did hinted that i was her favorite client.  

However i do have SO and right now my feeling for her (my ATF provider) is just business level.  Not lying, if i'm single i would've ask her to be my SO or marry me :)

But for you, i would take advice from Debbie, take a break from seeing him and sort out how you really feel.  If you still feel the same way after the break and of course you both single, why not go after how you feel....

All relationship has its risk, it takes 2 to tango right??

I wish you best of luck, whatever you decide, we're all happy for you

-- Modified on 4/25/2016 7:56:56 PM

SamanthaKillington See my TER Reviews 254 reads
posted
9 / 31
Absolutely. Def Arousing. eoM


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zadie-lin See my TER Reviews 415 reads
posted
10 / 31
This actually happened to me recently...

I met a client I really like: super respectful, clean, sweet, and we have several things in common. We've been seeing each other almost every week for the past two months or so. The sex is great, and post-coital conversations are always fun!

I could be with him if I wanted to. He's separated from his wife, etc. But I'm hesitant to shift our business relationship. He's very much into continuity, and while I am too, I also like variety (hence engaging in the industry! :) There's so many clients to provide my unique companionship to; so many experiences to have. I'm not ready to settle down just yet.

Maybe next time you're together, notice the sensations and thoughts that come up. Being in touch with your body and mind in that way is great for building intuition. Then you'd know if it's possible to have a conversation with him about it, perhaps over dinner (not sure if you offer dinner dates or maybe would with him). I always find at least some communication is helpful, but it also depends on the other person. Could he handle such a conversation? Does he feel the same way? Would it shift things completely business-wise?

Also, weighing all your options, figuring it not just intuitively, but mentally, physically, spiritually, if being with this person is the right approach for you & your life right now. Wishing ease for whatever happens!
Related Link: /|\ ∞ ♡ Zadie Lin /|\ ∞ ♡

mrfisher 115 Reviews 223 reads
posted
11 / 31
Just enjoy it, and don't over thiink it. eom


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Walter.Disney 342 reads
posted
12 / 31
Why would you fall for a client?

He pays you, you service him.

Pretty simple equation.

If he was interested in finding a relationship, fucking in P4P isn't where he'd be looking.  Just take his money and pay for match.com.

harborview 10 Reviews 278 reads
posted
13 / 31
It does happen...

If you are both available...  I'd explore how he feels.  You only live once.

Mscurious 361 reads
posted
14 / 31
Re: Why would you fall for a client?

how much is it?I might sign up

Pretty_Simple 403 reads
posted
15 / 31
As a provider...

I've had crushes with clients but its only just that "a crush".. I think love does't happen unless you allow it. I enjoy my crushes in the business but let them fizzle out on their own with time. I personally would not be interested in dating a client for many resons and one of them is to avoid the drama/jealousy that would likely come along with the relationship. Also most relationships fade with time anyway so it's better to enjoy the crush AND the donations while they last. If you want to deal with all the drama that a relationship brings that's your call.. at this point in my life I am not interested and prefer to enjoy and keep the relationships as a client/provider no exeptions

Zak0326 33 Reviews 322 reads
posted
16 / 31
Re: Why would you fall for a client?

Match.com is the worst. I recommend Plenty of Fish.  

Posted By: Mscurious
how much is it?I might sign up

Skyfyre 239 reads
posted
17 / 31
Agreed

From a provider's POV she already got the best of all world: a lover that she enjoys being with and having sex with on top of the fact she gets paid for it.  

Also no doubt whenever she sees him he's on his best: grooming, behavior, mood etc...

Unless she really wants to owe him 24/7 turning it into a serious relationship there's really no upside to what's already going on

sirbucky 31 Reviews 214 reads
posted
18 / 31
Ask him out on a date!


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ROGM 293 reads
posted
19 / 31
If A Provider Falling For A Client Is OK, Then;

Why is it taboo if a Client falls for a Provider?  

I like the provider I'm seeing very much. Even took her to Vegas a few years ago. We spend time OTC together. I still see her for my playtime fun. She even spends her entire day with me for my Birthday. If falling for a provider is wrong, then I don't want to be right.  

 
Just trying to see the other side of this.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 350 reads
posted
20 / 31
Just be careful - what usually happens is they start asking for free time

in exchange for the emotional support they are now giving you. Unless it is mutual.

I think guys pay for not needing to emotionally support for sex. But as my grandma used to say, after backhanding me, "The guy ALWAYS says it first! What are you doing?!" lol!

Now, that may be a tad old fashioned, but in this case, if you are worried - let the client say it first... then open up on his level. That is, if you still want him to be your client.

If you start saying it, then you may have issues with the money aspect, and may become bitter. If he brings it up, again - don't bust out with "I love you! Let's get married" to his "I think I have feelings for you, which is why I keep coming back."

Just say, "Yeah, I've been crushing on you for a while too."

You don't want him running for the hills, so maybe think of a way to make him comfortable opening up first. However - be careful. Be very careful. You also don't want a leach either, who will become possessive and controlling of the business side of things. As much as we want to think every guy we see would be cool with his woman he has growing love for going out and banging other dudes, it's just not the case with everybody.

-- Modified on 4/26/2016 12:25:12 AM

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 311 reads
posted
21 / 31
Re: Why would you fall for a client?

Match.com is one of the most terrible places to go and then "break the news" for what you do. Just FYI - lots of conservatives on there... :)

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 286 reads
posted
22 / 31
I'm kind of there with you too.

I'd need a hefty investment from the guy if I'm going to start dating him solo. For me, it's either or - P4P or a relationship... but I do enjoy it as it lasts if I crush on a client or two.

The jealousy and drama are the biggest reasons, so unless he is in a place where he can fully support me (above expenses - like - a hefty income) financially and sexually (I need a few times a week lol) I couldn't do it. It's either or for me, or I start floundering and getting all confused.  

One of the things I have thought of is that the guy still has to pay, or it gets sticky.

-- Modified on 4/26/2016 12:38:23 AM

ROGM 266 reads
posted
23 / 31
Free Time.

I've never asked for or been offered free time with the provider I'm seeing. I always pay for my session time with her. I take her out every now and then shopping. She's never asked for payment when she spends her entire day with me on my Birthday or I on her Birthday. But I always pay for my session time with her.

wholewheelofchz 6 Reviews 308 reads
posted
24 / 31
What?

Do I misunderstand? You're saying, as a boyfriend he's supposed to keep forking over donations?

Then he wouldn't be her boyfriend. He'd be a client racking up a hell of a bill.

If you take the step from provider-client to bf-gf, that's the end of the donations. So that's why it seems highly unlikely for a provider to do, but love is grand...

mrfisher 115 Reviews 390 reads
posted
25 / 31
This brings up the whole question of transitioning from...

client/provider to boyfriend/girlfriend, and then perhaps on to husband/wife.

It is complicated as I can attest because I have done so.  A full discussion is way beyond the abilities of this or any other on-line board.

Suffice it to say, a man ends up paying for sex one way or the other; and client/provider is by far the most economical way to obtain sex

bocabuster 19 Reviews 334 reads
posted
26 / 31
Clients

Two thoughts:

1) determine his status IRL
2) if he's single ask him to meet for happy hour. No meal involved, can be as short or long as seems comfortable, let's you see him in a public place and you'll also see how he treats the staff and how he treats you in public

vantheman666 11 Reviews 249 reads
posted
27 / 31
Play 20 questions with him

Make up a hypothetical situation in which a provider friend of yours is falling for a client.  Ask him what kind of advice he would give in this type of situation.  His responses should be a good indicator of whether or not it's safe for you to pursue a romantic relationship with him.

Yes, relationships do happen in the hobby...but they're rare.  Lasting relationships starting with the hobby are even more rare.  I'm personally open to the possibility, and my ATF and I profess our love for each other all the time...but in my case, I'm polyamorous, so she could keep her job, and I could keep playing.  Other couples may need monogamy.  These are all issues that need to be discussed, should you and your client move forward with a "real" relationship.

statson1234 131 Reviews 359 reads
posted
28 / 31
Yes I fell in love

I fall in love with providers every time I see them ,
Usually for an hour . LOL and I love it , I treat those girls  
like one in a million , until time runs out .

Anyway , Aside from that , that makes me wonder how my providers feel about me when they see me ? Hmmm " nice guy ? total stud muffin " or maybe just another money cow ... hmm  
interesting subject .  

anyway ,  

I think you should control your emotions and maybe not ever see him again  
cause you are overstepping the boundaries sister. Anyway ,  
good luck and stay strong .

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 193 reads
posted
29 / 31
I didn't read anywhere that she was looking for a boyfriend.

And what I'm telling her to be careful of, is a guy saying "Oh wow. Yeah, I like you too..." while thinking in his head, "Oh wow. Yeah! I'll just say I like her so I can get some free time!"

Get it?

wholewheelofchz 6 Reviews 277 reads
posted
30 / 31
The mindset of the guy in your example

Strikes me as indistinguishable from the mindset of a "boyfriend."  

I think anyone who disagrees is being a little bit naive with respect to the male psyche

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 266 reads
posted
31 / 31
Re: The mindset of the guy in your example

Or the mindset of someone looking to get a freebie. There are a lot of those guys out there. Another thing though, is if he takes advantage, and she thinks he's her boyfriend, and he drops her - it's a pretty ugly burn.

Posted By: wholewheelofchz
Strikes me as indistinguishable from the mindset of a "boyfriend."  
-- Modified on 4/28/2016 8:56:13 PM

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