Yes, this is a second identity that cannot be connected to me or my  handle. And can't be PM'd. I  have not had  sex with my wife in nearly two years.  I have a fabulous sugarbaby whom I would consider my girlfriend were it not for the 31 year age difference and the $1200 I pay toward her student loans each month.  We spend lots of time together and have every kind of BB sex.  If my wife died, I'd propose to her. Despite this, between last March and this January.... I spent a lot of time in Atlanta and partook liberally of the local talent.  
     I have gotten the results of my most recent test and I am HIV positive. What do I do? And how? I'm lost,  confused, angry, suicidal and miserable. Can anyone think of anything to say to help? Slamming me or berating me won't help.  Help!!

END OF MESSAGE

God, this just scared the fucking hell out of me.  The BB is obviously what got you and most of us (myself included) cover up, but it is always always in the back of my mind.  I am married.  We have young children.  I could leave those wonderful kids without both parents because of what is, if nothing else, selfish behavior.  Her complicity in driving me to this point could never, ever justify sujecting her (and the kids) to that fate.  So yes, this is something I think of often.  the cover guarantees nothing.

What should you do?  You have to advise every girl you have been with, and that is going to suck.  A lot.  But I would not want to be standing at those gates having not done so.   And if you don't want all of these women knowing that it is you who potentially infected them?  Create a temporary Gmail account and email them annonymously that you "saw them in x timeframe, and that they need to get tested for HIV".  Do it from a public, library computer.  It is a fucked up way for them to find out, but far better than their having not found out.

I would have to tell my wife.  Lord knows there would be no chance of her being infected by me these days, but this would be need-to-know information for her because it would affect her life.  I would move out, locally for the kids,  while we were both at work, just take the day off.  Then I would call her.  

And of course all hobbying would stop and that includes the sugar-baby.  I will pray that she is not affetcted.  I see wonderful providers who are doing this to pay down student loans, and the thought is heart-breaking.

You need to not be alone with this,  Find an AIDS support group if you feel you don't have a friend to share this with

This is not a death sentence, and while it's not ideal, with early detection and treatment you can lead a fairly healthy, and long, life.  Yes, there will be hurdles, but they are not insurmountable.  Go talk to an HIV counselor...they are trained to help you sort these things out.  You need more support and accurate information then what you will get here.

Check with Udo on the HIV shit.

Or are you Udo?

Or Aces 8?

Did you BB all over Atlanta?

END OF MESSAGE

We've all been there, my friend. My sugarbaby was 32 years older than me and I spent more than $1500 towards her student loans each month. And my wife and I hadn't had sex in 5 years.

I also considered suicide but I said fuck it. Why not play the whole thing out and see how it ends. What do you really have to lose any way?

Have 2 appointments Mon..... 2nd and3rd opinions..... Going away with the baby 8am tomorrow until Sun night..... Curly W is rude,  but I'm considering his advice.  No, I'm always cfs with providers,  but did see one young lady on her period and consumed liberally of one who was lactating...? With the exception of one adorable little blonde,  all of the Atlanta providers were young and AA... Thanks for the anonymous  email idea, several were agency girls..... Sorry some of you are so unkind, but I hope this never happens to you. For now,  I'm hoping next opinions differ.  

 

No offense...but wouldn't that have made her a sugargreatgrandma?

And only 1500/mo...OK whatever.  What 50-70 year old sb (sbggm) is still in school?

I think you were getting jobbed...were you?

-- Modified on 3/29/2013 7:25:19 PM

Well, now that you mention it maybe I was getting jobbed.

But can you tell me, what does it mean "getting jobbed"?

We all know he meant younger, never miss a chance Chg.  Don't ever change bud, we just wouldn;t know how to react.

Yep...that would suck  LOL

Hey...I see how some of these reviewers give old and ugly hookers 10's.  Shit..some of them are 65+ still pretending to be 39.

So it was a possiblity...and would have been a slam dunk on TER Jeopardy later on  

or if you are just here to play us. You obviously know how this board operates and you seem to know the players. I am not sure what you expected and I am not sure why you even brought it here.

Now I have to leave Atlanta for good because you have tainted the entire city. (had to throw one little j/k out there)

You mean wearing braces? I think I'm probably a little too old for that.

Every thread, no matter how serious, degenerates into inane conversations between the same few Jack-offs.

Agreed.  Can't deal with them. This is so serious to the op and all of us...... But the butt heads have to control.  I am so sorry for the ladies who have to deal with these guys. CPA probably brings a woopy cushion.

You should have used a serious face if that's wha you intended.

You back from Tijuana already?

How did it go with your kid?

how do you handle being hiv positive and still playing

are there any extra cautions you take or is it just the same

Just show them this thread and Udo's others for the laughs.

Oh...and reading your posts are a hoot as well.

The hookers love to laugh at that shit.

Based on being confused, angry, suicidal, and miserable, you have to start off by realizing that you are going through like 4 phases of the Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle simultaneously, which is certainly no easy task.  People who get hit with bad news or negative events in their life can go through these 7 phases:

    Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.
    Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable.
    Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.
    Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.
    Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.
    Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions.
    Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.

You are going to experience all these stages in some form or another guaranteed, and it will be a roller coaster of shit before you finally end up with acceptance, which is when you can continue to live your life.  

Remember, HIV is not a death sentence, you will be put on meds that will keep is suppressed for a very long time or permanently.  

You will definitely continue to live your life after you experience this shit storm of emotional states.  So be aware of these 7 stages, and make sure you don't get stuck in any one stage, especially not the depression stage.  In fact, the best thing to do is to try to force yourself to deal with the second to last stage as soon as possible, because that one requires you to deal with your situation instead of meandering in the shit storm of emotional crap, which you don't want to experience for longer than necessary. If you can push through that second to last phase, then you are done, you are moving forward with your life again.  I know this all sounds real corny, but there is a science behind it.  I am not giving you life advice here, I am just trying to help you with what you are dealing with at the moment, which is what you asked for, and so I hope this helped you out.

So i'm going to assume you just said to yourself, Fuck Condoms, I hate them. Or you made her gag on your cock and she bit you.  

If i sell drugs and get busted its my fault. If i get drunk and drive and kill myself and others its my fault. I could go and on.

The real ? is, when you finally come to grips with this and realize your not going to die next week or even 20 years from now, will you protect others from yourself or just pass it along to the next girl who says its ok to go BB.

you got HIV. Could have been the bareback, cud have been providers (local talent), who knows (nobody from your post), If you really are sick I feel bad and will pray for you, but why not turn this into something positive and warn other hobbyists how this may have happened.. God be with you...