I got a PM asking if I white list.  I said I do when the person deserves it.

So the response comes back "Then white list me."

And I said, "I'm sorry, but I only white list people I've had a date with."

I then get a long list of reasons a woman would white list a man she's never met:

-The gentleman posts alot of reviews, and by whitelisting him, whenever he gets looked up, her name comes up on his white list and it gets her more traffic to her reviews. A way of marketing (ew)
- He's a frequent contributor to the forum, which means white listing will again bring my reviews more traffic
-  you would be vouching for him, and in return by accepting the whitelisting, he would be vouhing for me  as a reputable provider who is worth seeing


I have to admit, I'm horrified.  I mean it's  seen as pretty common knowledge amongst ladies that the white-listed  is a joke.   I would never see a guy whose only referral was his white list status but it's always nice to see.  

Seriously, do women commonly do that? Even if others do I wouldn't dream of it. I personally make the decision seriously.   Unless I had a date with a man, met him face to face and he treated me well,  I'd never do such a thing.

"I would never see a guy whose only referral was his white list status but it's always nice to see."

I would hope that a long list of WL'ings wouldn't mean nothing. I have a lot of them albeit old as hell. Yet, they were all fantastic ladies.

I would always expect (and suggest it as well) that a lady use other sources besides just a WL.

Call them, if he is submitting 1 or 2 as references. But as the thread below got started apparently a guy has some nut-case for a WL and that may not set well with you. Then go back to the ole trustworthy methods.

After what I just read in my PM, a long list of WL means a lot less now.

It never means "nothing", to see a WL.  I might lean more on that in Toronto then in the USA.   However, I still want to contact a provider he's seen and hear that he's safe.   I don't live in the states, I can't afford any situation that'll get me in trouble.

have to be blunt and say I don't want to white list you or they do it. Ask yes but some of us whitelist seldom and few of our clients. Its not like a review. Its giving your word to other ladies we approve of him as a client and recommend him to others. It has a great deal to do with trust between the ladies.
So a white list is not always a recommendation. I don't care how many white list providers names are on your profile. If I don't talk to them it means nothing. I have no clue if they just whitelist everybody just because they have seen them.
I even took someone off my white list just last week. They are now a client I do not see for various reasons.

What's wrong with people! I'm even more horrified!

If someone pestered me I wouldn't be shy to tell them to go to hell.

As you said, it's giving my word to women that his is a good client to spend time with.

I have the heighest respect for you, taking off a man from your list that doesn't deserve it is an honourable act.

If we could trust women were only white listing their good clients, it might mean more. But obviously that's not the case.

And did not give him the WL. It is a valuable tool that should be used, but not necessarily as the sole method of screening.

I understand that you speak to more providers then I do, but I have not heard anyone call the WL a joke, and I was specifically asked on several occasions by providers if I had WL's.
However, if the system is abused by providers it could make a mockery out of a good system.

more like abuse by clients wanting to be white listed. Sure she has to do so but the hounding had got to stop. Ask once, if she doesn't do it move on to the next gal you see. I have a person last month hound me with emails asking why I have not white listed him yet and "whats my problem" I finally had to come rght out and tell him I don't want to. Now can you imagine if we hounded clients for a good review. Whitelisting is non discript and its a thumbs up for them. what it means to each provider depends on at what llevel she white lists. But everyone doesn't see it the same way. Reviews are a grading system the white list isn't so I put little value into it. I white list only my very favs and leave it at that. Its not like reviews, theres no discription nada so who really knows. I don't put value into the white list I still want to talk to the Lady.

I have the dubious honor of having more white lists (one) than reviews (zero)> My only white list is from a provider that I have only met socially, never had a session with, and quite frankly a lady I don't much care for.

Anyone who knows me, knows my "benefactor" is hardly my type, I have no idea why the white list is there and truth be told, I wish she'd remove it.

Brooke Butler this is an open request to you, please remove your whitelisting of me, we both know we have never had a session and we both know we never will. TYVM

And sometimes the guys give in.  

I have to say I'm not so picky as to white list only my very favs.  Mostly because my very favs never would dream of posting a review of a woman and find this board isn't worth posting on.

You are correct, by not being a grading system only viewable to  other providers is a problem.  So yes, it's whatever it means to each provider.

As far as I'm concerned WL worthy: He doesn't pester you to do things you don't enjoy, he leaves the right gift without a hassle, and is no physical danger and will treat you with dignity.   As a client I might rate him a 6 or a 10.  However, a 6 to me could be a 10 to someone else...

That just makes no damn sense at all.  A good out for you is that.  How can you vouch for someone you have never seen.

I am personally appalled that a guy would expect a WL from a provider he has not even seen.  What an ego!!!!!

If I were you, I would not give him the ref even after seeing him.

Swim

I have always considered being WL'ed a compliment, and a statement that someone will personally vouch for you. As such, I totally agree with taking a WL request seriously and applying high standards to granting the WL request.

It's also easy to lookup a WL, especially when the provider may be difficult to contact, or is out of town, etc.

Ladies, a third thing to please consider for us newbies.  For newbies with zero referrals or one referral, the WL a way to build up our reputation, which makes it easier to see more of you sooner.

That's my $0.02.

I will only white list friends that I've seen before and usually only if they have written a review. Once in a while I'll give one without a review. But in the end we still screen each and every one for all our safety.
Kissez n hugs
Sage

There are many flavors of shenanigans with regard to whitelists.

I've had ladies say that they only whitelist if your review met a certain rating (i.e. 9 or better).

Others say that they need two meetings to WL. Thats like in the civvie days where on the first date she says she only fucks on the third date. I agree that you may want more than one meeting to decide I'm a good guy, but really, what are you really going to know on the second meeting that you don't know after one?

As for agencies whitelisting... ladies need to take that for what it's worth. In some ways, more that from an indie, and less in others.

The down side of an agency WL is that there is no real feedback from the lady who had the appointment. However, if WL are suspect from indies, whats the difference?

The up side is little different from any suspect indie WL, and that is he wasn't LE, didn't (presumably) treat the lady poorly (though I am sure some agencies may not care).

Bottom line is that the ladies need to talk and watch each others backs, regardless of competition and personalities. It's the only way to truly keep each other safe, IMO.

I don't usually white list unless the person
frequents often and is having to go through
the screening over and over again week by week
same old routine. If I see or hear this I 'll
do him a favor and white list him if he wants.
He must have a following of reviews and must be well established for me to do so. I see no use for white list other than to help the gentlemen out who tire of the same screening when already established .

Many times a provider asking for a reference becomes difficult obtaining. IE: Reference request being ignored or unable to comment...
other reasons ...at least if he is listed providers can inbox email each other with questions or concerns.

But like I said being white listed in my opinion is based more on frequency to assist in waving his contact page completion once established in the community.

I only white list a gentleman I've seen and if enjoyed my time with him. I have been asked to Whitelist but it was someone I had  a great time with.

xoxo,

Steph

As a client I might rate him a 6 or a 10.  However, a 6 to me could be a 10 to someone else...

I couldn't agree more.  I really take the white list with a grain of salt.  The worst date I have ever had was white listed by a reputable provider in Atlanta.  What is acceptable behavior for one lady sure isn't acceptable to another.

Well, it's the truth that WL are used in many ways, good and bad. I know of providers who only WL if your review gives them a high enough rating, and some that only WL after a specific number (more than one) dates. I'm not saying someone should be WL-ed after one meeting, but to have a fixed number smells like fishing for business.

I monitor whitelists of guys in my region. I have noticed a few providers will whitelist a guy that they can't stand.

They only whitelisted the guy because he was a popular poster.

Yes it is correct they use it for marketing.

It is a shame that it has been abused.

I have seen the same thing in my region.

It was most likely a provider who sounds as much like a man as she looks!  You,ve been Punk'd!

Only once did being WL'd help me overtly...and that was going to my first Vegas M&G.  The host noted that a lady he knew and trusted had WL'd me, and that was good enough for him.  

Personally, I've always had to ask.  Then again, I don't review often, and the subject never comes up, anyway, unless I mention it.  This leads me to believe that being WL'd doesn't mean all that much to most ladies, and that most ladies would rather keep their best clients to themselves, only to shared with friends that they trust for the most part.  Not surprising if you think about it...

I've already written about my opinion regarding whitelists on the Boston Board.

The nuances of this discussion have turned from the OP questioning reprehensible behavior of a gentleman in regards to whitelists, to gentlemen largely ignoring the original topic query at hand in favor of 1) condemning ladies for "allowing" or even "perpetuating" this reprehensible behavior, or 2) complaining that we are too stringent in regards to whitelists (because, of course, we are either too lax or too strict, but never, ever just right...unless our views or offerings is convenient with what the man needs at that exact time, of course). From what I've read, the few ladies who have responded, to their detriment, have chosen to defend their individual selves, siding with the vilification of their fellow ladies rather than question the turning of this tide. The nuances of the power plays involved on this board/website as whole, and just exactly who is in full control in a larger sense, are exactly why I will never accept whitelists or any form of "hobbyist verification" from TER.

However, it does make for great fun in ruling out those who I would not wish to see, when the email is set with an expectant and entitled tone, and includes the mention of whitelists as if the gentlemen in question was actually engaging in some serious name dropping. Like Ms. Summerhill, the majority of individuals who fall into my personal favorites list don't even frequent places such as TER, and wouldn't dream of something such as whitelists.

It's a convenience for both sides.

.....to a fake review.


    Obviously everyone's MMV, that said, I will occasionally use a hobbyist's whitlist in part of determining how seriously to take his reviews.

    IMHO, any hobbyist who tries to push an unseen provider to WL him should be blacklisted in some way, as one above has suggested.  That clearly undermines the WL objective.

IMHO

do point out some reasons why it is done...all bad in my book.  

And yes, it reenforces my thread below because it shows another example of why a guy might want to drop a WL.  What if it was uninvited for business reasons?  You are right, ewwwww, and no guy should have to deal with such a provider to have it removed.

Definitely stand your ground and never give out a WL to someone that you have never seen.  And frankly, more criteria than that should be used.  If every lady had standards for doing them, more would value them.

As far as how usful they are, we do disagree.  While many do not respect them, I am very glad to say some do.  The last several ladies I have meet have been based on my WL alone.  And they are pretty careful ladies.  One reason is the quality of some of the providers that WL.  Not all WLs have equal value in our various local communities.  Some also might pick one of the WLs and follow up with a phone call.  

They CAN and SHOULD have value if the system is respected properly, so again I am glad you stuck to your guns.

And you are always advocating for guys to be blacklisted, and shilling for the lists.

How about this. Guys who drink piss and eat scat  should be blacklisted, or at the very least denied DFK. That is more repugnant then asking for a WL when one is not deserved.

"I have to admit, I'm horrified.  I mean it's  seen as pretty common knowledge amongst ladies that the white-listed  is a joke.   I would never see a guy whose only referral was his white list status but it's always nice to see.  "

If the whitelist is a joke, what is the purpose of this thread?

To learn what others think. Generally the purpose of any conversation.

I mean why ask something that makes no sense right? LOL. Who cares what others think? If you think it is a joke, are they going to convince you to think like them?

If a few ladies did anal, does that mean you have to do it if you have never done it?

-- Modified on 3/20/2010 3:01:24 PM

I received 1 WL which surprised me after a meeting.  It had gone very nicely & I'd hoped she was pleased as well.
TER WL says:  "Below is a list of providers & agencies that personally vouch for you"...  that is a very high standard...  I don't see how anyone could vouch for a guy without having successfully completing a meeting.
The result of this rude male person is that the OP will surely decline to WL in the future.  
skb

thats a little different then asking for a whitelist when one is not deserved.

YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT A PROVIDER SO YOU CAN STFU ABOUT WHAT SHOULD BE BLACKLISTED AND WHAT SHOULDN'T

You did exactly what I would recommond anyone do.  You never know if a guy is a good guy or a bad guy until you meet them.

You would have realized that my BL comment was made before she posted that she was "allegedly" threatened. That is open to interpretation anyhow.

In addition, I am allowed to post whether you like it or not. You control nothing and have ZERO credibility and almost none inside of your little plot in the desert.

I had noticed that you made no comment about the provider who had given a WL to a guy she has not seen. What about that? There is also another provider who did he same thing and was called out on another thread a while back.
Are you going to black list them too?

You say that being white-listed is a joke. Then you say that the white list is always nice to see? Which is it? This, as well as your melodrama with using the word "horrified" makes me think twice about taking your opinion seriously. Just sayin'.

FYI - Jenna -- I'm NOT any alias on this thread !

I RARELY will confirm or deny an alias, but obviously I need to prove something here.  I will do this ONCE. So here is my post to PROVE I'm MOT Silence of the Lamb Chop or any other alias on this thread.

I get  WRONGLY accused of 90% of the aliases on the boards.  Jenna, have a nice evening!