I’m experiencing problems with a provider that there doesn’t appear to be an amiable solution. She is a well reviewed provider in good standing with most if not all of the reviewers, which was my basis for selecting her. I contacted her for an extended hour session. At her request, I made a partial payment deposit as a show of good faith. Upon her very late arrival at the hotel, she became pre-occupied with phone calls regarding the status of her family. This continued during dinner disrupting it repeatedly. Upon returning to the hotel, the phone calls continued. After a few more of the calls, she asked that we terminate the session and that she would “make it good to me later.” I took her at her word contacting her later to set up a new time and date. Her responses to my emails and phone calls have not been positive and now, several weeks later, she is totally ignoring me. What recourse do I have?
Obviously, there isn’t any authoritative body to report the matter to nor can I make public details of the event including names and dates in any attempt to recoup any losses as doing so will only serve to anger, alienate or aggravate the provider, still leaving me with no money, no session or a session that falls short of any reasonable mark. I’m sure this isn’t the first time this has happened. Are there any suggestions toward resolution of this matter to the satisfaction of all concerned?
Chalk it up as a lost and be glad you only lost a partial payment.
Whoa, whoa. With the contempt for the hobbyist's time or for resolution of the aborted date, this is pretty egregious behavior (assuming that what the OP says is true).
I took the full hit to my pocketbook; I paid her in full and she left with all the money - non suspecting me; nor should have I had reason to expect such treatment. She has over 50 high reviews with most commenting how nice she was. I guess that plus the bust in the chops to my ego is what I get.
I wish that there were some better alternatives to this type of situation. I believe that there are only certain steps that you can take, and you've started them.
1) Contact the provider (and I would recommend email) to explain the situation and try to set up a new session. Be nice and act like a gentleman. (I know you've done this)
I believe that the above is what you continue to do, until you are certain that you are NOT going to get a make-up for the session you lost.
Once you're at that point, then I think you have two options. The first is to let it go, and chalk it up as a loss, and not do anything.
The second is to take some action which might result in getting something back because of the negative publicity. Maybe write a negative review, putting in the details. Possibly even let her know that you're going to do that.
I've always believed that being nice is always the first choice - but that doesn't always work. It's now your decision as to whether you want to pursue it any farther. I'd be sure that you're prepared to not get anything before taking any further action, however. And if you write anything, write it, and sit on it for a day or so, and then re-read it before sending it or posting it.
Just my 2 cents.
Nothing goes right 100% of the time in the hobby, and if you push too hard for some sense of justice, things can go terribly wrong, very rapidly. Each of you are in an endeavour that puts you in a very vulnerable position. When people feel vulnerable, they can quickly react defensively and/or aggressively when someone else seems to be threatening them. I regret you lost out. I know it doesn't feel good. However, much like the advise often given regarding gambling, don't gamble any more than you can afford to lose. Once it's lost, just walk away from the table.
Sorry to hear about your predicament. If I read this correctly, I think you could write a review for that date because you both met in your room at your hotel, went to dinner, and then upon returned from dinner she initiated the termination of the date without delivery of the good. No matter what was the situation, she failed to fulfill her end of the deal. Even afterward as she promised to make it up for you. But did not as of to date. If you don't mind I ask, how long has it been since she departed from the "date"?
OTOH, if she is a well reviewed provider in good standing as you've mentioned, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt for now. just because. Maybe she has not resolved her personal problem(s) yet. Hopeful she would contact you soon to complete "making good to you later" if your feeling about her has not changed.
It's been about a month and I've taken the tact of letting time heal/correct her personal situation in hopes of recovering my session; the money isn't the issue, it's probably an ego and self esteem thing on my part -- her not responding to my emails or calls adds to that. I guess it's time to man-up and go on.
I would email her and let her know that you intend to post the details of the entire incident on your local board if she doesn't take immediate steps to refund your deposit. One proviso, don't do this unless you plan to follow through on it. I fail to understand why anyone would allow themselves to be ripped off w/o taking some kind of action to recoup.
You have no recourse other than to write an objective review of the date and describe exactly what happened. Doing this won't get you your money back but it will warn others of possible problems with this provider. That is the reason that the TER community exists.
Honestly, I would never book with any woman who requires a deposit. I realize that there are some very legitimate providers who require this but I have read too many stories like yours to ever risk it.
Providers have private lives too... as gentlemen, we understand & respect this. I imagine she shared the nature of the emergency with you. You state that several weeks have elapsed... adequate time to resolve the emergency.
Frankly, I think she should have appologized, and offered you a refund since she was quitting the date through no fault of yours. You'd have only been out the meal & room, enough of a loss.
You state that she has not positively responded to your messages... and now ignores you. She knows what she promised and Clearly she does not intend to make good on it. I would not contact her further, in any fashon.
I really don't think you'll do yourself any good by posting. But it would serve to warn others. You would have to be very careful to be fair & objective. If she PLANNED this, it would qualify as a RIP OFF!
skb
I may be new here and new to this whole hobbiest scene but IMO there is only two proper things to do.
If more than enough time has passed and it is evident from your communications that nothing is going to happen then.......
1. Post a factual unemotional review describing the events to date.
2. Write it off to lesson learned. Dont make partial payments for services of any kind that have not been rendered. This applies to almost anything not just client/provider relationships. I would consider that policy especially pertinent in situations like this where you have NO legal recourse. Might as well be mad about a car window crack dealer absconding with the funds....same thing pretty much 
Truthfully, if things are the way you describe them I would not care to "pick up where you left off" so to speak.....
Shaft
