Well, as a hobbyist, here is my perspective:
Maybe you shouldn't have presented it as an outright cancellation at first, but perhaps just explained the situation, and then just changed the appointment time to a later time - would running home after work been an option? Perhaps even on you lunch break? As the room was already reserved for the night, and you were the only appt for the day, is this something to which she would have been receptive (being late would have at least been better than losing the appt AND the cost of the hotel room?) Unless she had other plans for later that evening... Interested to hear what the ladies out there would say about this...
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I recently scheduled to meet with a local well reviewed provider who was hosting near my office. It was not her standard incall location, she was reserving a hotel room, but still advertising it as an incall. Everything was set up a couple days ahead of time, but on the morning of the meeting, I absent-mindedly left home without my wallet (meaning no debit card, credit card or photo ID). By the time I realized it, I was 25 miles from home and 10 minutes away from the office. No way I could go back home and get it and be over an hour late for work. I had most of the donation in my pocket, but was short $50 on the donation, plus extra money for the bubbly and sandwiches I had promised to bring, and any tip. Not money easily borrowed from a coworker (at least not in my office). Reluctantly I contacted her first thing in the morning and regrettably told her that I had to cancel, explaining the whole situation. She reacted by telling me that I was her only appointment for the day and that she would now be out the cost of the hotel, and then accused me of making up my story in order to get $50 off her advertised donation. I felt guilty about causing her to lose money, and even offered to pay her the hotel cost next time she was in the area. At that point I was politely told never to contact her again.
Aside from not giving her the details on why I was cancelling (i.e. made up some other reason, which would have ultimately been an excuse), what else could I have done to possibly improve the outcome of the situation and stayed in her better graces?
Has a similar situation ever happened to other hobbyists (cancelled with a legitimate reason and been accused of lying or some alterior motive)?
Providers, how would you have reacted in that situation?
I've been hobbying long enough to know how things work, am always a gentleman and rarely cancel appointments, but it baffles me at how quickly I was judged and treated in this one instance.
Well, as a hobbyist, here is my perspective:
Maybe you shouldn't have presented it as an outright cancellation at first, but perhaps just explained the situation, and then just changed the appointment time to a later time - would running home after work been an option? Perhaps even on you lunch break? As the room was already reserved for the night, and you were the only appt for the day, is this something to which she would have been receptive (being late would have at least been better than losing the appt AND the cost of the hotel room?) Unless she had other plans for later that evening... Interested to hear what the ladies out there would say about this...
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You couldn't have anticipated it, tho; you don't keep her appt book.
IMHO, she overreacted. You did the right thing in the circumstances. Her job is to accept the cancellation gracefully and give you another chance.
Every dog is entitled to one bite. You're entitled to at least one cancellation - no questions asked. That's the nature of this business. She takes the risk -- and indeed, you take the risk that she might cancel.
Too bad for her. In the last analysis, be thankful you won't be seeing her again. She's probably bad news.
I am probably going to get flamed here (I am prepared for it). I have a full time "day" job, so I don't depend on this hobby to pay my bills, like many do.
That is the cost of doing business. I would have gracefully accepted his explanation (only if it was the first time he had "cancelled" on me)and tried to work out something for later in that day. If that didn't work out...I would gracefully have accepted his offer to cover the cost of the room the next time.
The object is to win "customers" not lose them.
As anyone who has ever been in business for themselves knows...you have to spend money to make money.
We've all made similar mistakes but that one IS pretty stupid. I mean forgetting your cash card on the day of a session! So sh'es entitled to be a little disbelieving- not too many clients fuck that up...
That said, it DOES happen and she should deal. But getting a little pissy is understandable...
I'm sure that ladies get all kind of excuses and ploys to reduce their rates. However, seems to me that if you were her only appointment for the day, she would have been well served to offer you a $50 discount to at least cover the cost of the room and hope that her generosity plus her performance would entice you back next time, perhaps with a $50 or more tip.
Maybe others cancelled on her or some other events were building and this was the proverbial straw, etc.
If you really care to see this provider, here's what I'd do. I'd see if I could send her the donation somehow along with a note of apology. Then wait a couple of weeks and contact her again. You may find that investment will pay diviends, if not, at least your karma is clear.
Otherwise, go fish.
Freud says that there is no such thing as an accident, and your failure to remember your wallet on the day of an appointment has some inner meaning--guilt or reluctance to go through with it. Maybe so. I must admit that while I don't know, it was what struck me most about your story.
Sounds rude to me. While I understand she was out the cost of the room, life happens and sometimes you just have to roll with the proverbial punches. If she was so concerned about the money, she just should've seen you, taken the $50 discount and dealt with it. If it were a habitual thing with you, then I could see some additional frustration, but it seems like you truly did try to notify her of your situation and you weren't pestering her to cut you a deal. It was her loss sweetheart. You might've saved yourself a headache later.
-Katie-
r u fuki** nuts!!!! u r talking about a date with a hooker.she lives her life to lie to men. wake the fu* up. forget about this moral thing. be nice for an hour or two and get on with life.
they provide sex and we pay for it. where's the confusion in that?
What caused me to come to the conclusion is that you said you had most of the donation in your pocket already. That means you had counted the money and put it in your pocket in anticipation of meeting the provider. You knew you were short when you put that money in your pocket. That means you knew you had to go to the ATM either that day or the night before. If you had forgotten to put that donation in your pocket then I think your claim of absent-mindness would be acceptable. But the fact that you knew you had a date and that your donation was short before you left the house tells me you didn't want to go thru with the appointment. But then I am no psycho shrink and only your head knows the real truth. LOL
Not only was I planning to go through with it, I was eagerly anticipating it. Yes I had put money in my pocket knowing I was short and planned on dropping by the bank on the way to work. I don't keep cash in my wallet, I only keep ID, credit cards, insurance cards, etc., cash is always carried in my pocket. It was really a case of being rushed, and having alot on my mind, gathering up all my stuff, sans wallet, and running out the door. There wasn't any Freudian subconscious BS about it.
you know a client cancelling shouldn't be that big of a deal. As long as you called her well in advance, were honest and sincere about your situation. She shold have accepted your cancelation and hopefully you apologized for the problem.
you possibly could have tried to reschedule for a later time that day or evening or for sometime the next morning before she had to check out of the room.
Its always a bummer when a client has to cancel but unfortunately it happens....no reason to get bent.
xoxoxo
Stace