Ladies and Gentlemen, during a routine physical recently, my doctor informed me that I have tested postive for high chlorestrol and high blood sugar, and at the rate I am going, I may die within the next 20 years.  Tough news for someone pushing 50.  

Wow.

But if I turn my act around, I could stretch it out to 30 or 40 years more.  That means I might outlive Dick Clark and live to have my diapers changed again.  I'm going with disposables, and hopefully they will have drive-up windows for that by then.  Who knows, maybe Democrats and Replublicans will still be our only election choices?  It boggles the mind.

As you know, I have been a happy-go-lucky guy whistling pass the graveyard.  But I have decided to become a discussion thread starting poster of health guidance in the coming year.  

Did you know high blood sugar and high chlorestrol kills more people than smoking, alcohol, guns, STDs, cell phones and the Kennedy family combined!?  The Kennedy family alone pretty much encompasses all the rest, but some of you don't remember Vietnam, Bay of Pigs, Cuban Missile Crisis or the Chapaquitic so I itemized.  But that was before everything got fucked up in the world.  Now we don't live forever anymore.  Sorry, I digress...

I now have the worst STD of all - paranoia!  Pusy, bile filled paranoia.  And you all are gonna listen to it!  Routine diatribes on saturated fat, fiber, etc

I don't want what has happened to me to happen to you, friends.  So I am hereby on a crusade to fight poor eating habits.  And if I die in the coming decades, please carry on my quest without me.  Together we can make it, if we try.

LIVE TO WIN!!!  Yeah!

Now have some roughage.

I'll take all the anchovies that nobody else wants.

You do make a good point about eating and health.  Poor diet causes more deaths than nearly anything else.

But as the dad of a provider I know said once:

"You have to die of something."

It might as well be something you enjoy.

I sure know how I want to go out.  ;o)

My profession has brought me to many geriatric homes and nursing facilities over the years. IMO going out in a ball of flame trumps a slow and degrading waiting to die.

I was a smoker for 14 years and quit about 9 years ago. I didn't quit for health reasons, just didn't like it anymore. Every time I used to light up someone would invariably say "smoking takes years off your life". I just reminded them that it would be at the and of my life that the years get taken off, when I would be in a wheelchair and drooling all over myself. So I was actually doing myself a favor by smoking.

b-

But he'll probably still arm wrestle you for some of those anchovies.

Personally, the older I get, the faster cars I own.  When I find out that my number is coming soon, I'm going to spend my last few bucks on a beautiful woman, and knock down someones brick wall at 150 mph.

"Hope I die before I get old..."

That immediately came to mind after watching the VH1/BBC special on rock last night.

Daltrey and Townsend did not get their "wish" but Keith Moon came close.

Remember his pricelss comment?  "If I'd known I was going to live so long, I would've taken better care of myself."

that as someone who has not yet come to the realization that she isn't immortal (hey, I'm still in my 20's...) the concept of getting old is still foreign like something that everyone else gets but you. At this moment, I think I would rather adhere to the old adage of live fast, die young and leave a good lookin' corpse.

Hmmm... so when I get old and incontinent, nobody wants to look at my old wrinkled body or pay attention to grandma anymore and the bastards I'll most likely have raised want to stuff me in a home to wait to die, I think I'll have to take up a hobby with a grisly end... like the grandpa in Lil Miss Sunshine who smoked crack or the guy on Private Practice who was in an old man fight club or something that will let an old woman go out in a blaze of glory. Then again, I could just pay some young stud to fuck me into a heart attack so I can go satisfied with a big smile on my face.

Katie

I watched a TV magazine episode about a study that was done to see what factors were involved in having people live longer. They didn't study statistics about diet, smoking, alchohol, etc. Rather, they developed a different approach. They went and interviewed people who had lived to be at least 100 years old. The most significanct factors they had in common were: 1. They stayed physically and mentally active, 2. They were involved in something they were passionate about, 3. They liked being around people.

Sounds like all the reasons I like to hobby. I guess now I have even more reason to continue (lol).

will be an appropriate topping. Or maybe, given your predelictions, a chitlin' topped pizza? LOL

As for me, I hope to live a looooong time but not one moment longer than I enjoy being alive. Ideally I'll go out at about 95 or so with a great buzz and a couple of women in the bed with me.

Anyone see the movie The Barbarian Invasions? It's about an old man dying while surrounded by his family and mistresses. Very good, thought-provoking film.