A newbie has a question. Finally found a real knockout and have set up the date - really excited ! I think the anticipation is half the fun I am also the type of guy that , for now , would rather find and stay with just one lady. I also feel more comfortable knowing she is comfortable and assured she is appriciated . I realise our " connection " will happen over time and I understand that . A womans connection happens in her sexual organ called the brain . Is a small gift out of bounds on the first time - I would not think so . She does not list any likes on her site so I am on my own. A few simple flowers ? Victoria Secret's gift certificate ? She is into butterflies so I was thinking some simple earrings or necklace - nothing expensive just letting her know I was thinking of her and starting a friendship or " connection ". Just trying to be a gentleman and stand out from the reat if I can. Welcome all thoughts and ideas / experiences.
jewelry is too person for someone you've never met. And you don't want to give her over-eager / stalker vibes -- since you're a newbie, she may be concerned that you will make the traditional newbie mistake of falling in love with her.
So relax. Don't let your eagerness show so much. Play it cool. Some nice, colorful daisies or irises or a mixed bouquet is thoughtful without being too much.
Would simple flowers from a first encounter/client make you " wierded out " or would it hopefully , make a good first impression ? All ladies are different......Just asking.
It wouldn't "weird" me out at all. I have received flowers, chocolate, gift cards. Candles...Gold earrings...lol...lot's of nice things from very nice gentlemen.
Very attractive woman.......VERY ! You go girl. Thanks for your help and I think I will stick to simple flowers and just play it cool. Man , YOUR HOT ! Smokin hot !
You're looking for a girlfriend, not a provider. These ladies will take your money, fuck you, then forget about you before you get back in your car and split.
Don't you think you'd be better off on one of those dating sites? I forget their fucking names at the moment. Match.com, or some shit like that?
And why would you want to stick with just one when you have all these choices here? Exclusivity doesn't really make sense in this deal here.
If you feel you have to give a girl money to fuck you, and you only, find a sugar baby. I believe there are sites for that, too.
I appreciate you're a newbie, and there are definitely more qualified and smarter people here than I to be giving advice.
But if you INSIST on going through with this date and buying her a gift, give her the lingerie card. It's thoughtful, practical, but not personal.
Not insulting you or being a smartass here, but you have some things crossed up and twisted in a very unhealthy way. You've got hopes, expectations, probably even scenarios in your head that are far from the reality of what you are stepping into.
You have made some insane assumptions . Where you and I differ is called CLASS , being a gentleman and treating a human being like you want to be treated with respect and thoughfulness. I am 45 years old . Electrical engineer from Ga Tech. Travelled the world through my 29 years with Motorola so you have some background. I am FULLY aware of her profession and I have no intrest , EVER , of something more than a romp in the sack with a incredibly HOT woman . If I need or wanted something more meaningful or serious I would visit a dating site or local bar . Being thoughful with a small inexpensive gift is being thoughful . Womens minds operate far different than ours - I SUGGEST YOU " Look into this for your own good ".
I'm confused at this point. You tell us that you're a new guy asking for advice and yet you basically insult every person that doesn't give you feedback you like. Is that what class means in Georgia?
Actually, I came back to this so I could use it as ammo on his remarks above. But you're right. Plus, think it was a little much sharing all his 'credentials' as to why he's so damn smart.
We don't always get along, but doesn't mean I don't agree with you from time to time.
Go forth with your Dilbert wisdom, Mr. Stunted Emotional Growth. Skip the therapy. You deserve to experience the raw reality of your upcoming lessons, even though they will likely be lost on you.
Listen son, your credentials are meaningless here, as is your job history (other than to show the moronic twerp you must be.)
We should meet in a biker bar sometime to have a few drinks and swap carrer geek stories, I bet we would hit it off well. Plus I could have the additional pleasure of watchin' the other patrons eyeball you.
I always check the Lady's webpage and see if she has any gifts listed. Also, just ask if you can bring something; I usually bring a bottle or two of wine (I book longer sessions as I am interested in knowing the Lady as well). Sometimes you can get an idea just through conversation while setting up the first meet. Read her reviews and see if other Hobbiests have given her a gift.
As Natasha says, flowers, not roses, are a nice gift. Happy Hobbying.
you know she doesn't have allergies. If any of my clients had brought me flowers, I'd have been sneezing and red-eyed within ten minutes. Doesn't make for a good session. Yes, as a rule I take allergy meds (because some clients have cats and the fur and dander are all over their clothes), but a sudden infusion of flowers will still make me blow my nose too often to make for a good time.
I agree jewelry can be "too personal," but ONLY in brand-new civie relationships. It's good here though, if you keep it on the lighter trinket-style (butterflies falls into this). After all, we're getting intimate, right?
Wine is good, but again only if you know she drinks (I don't during sessions; I want all my wits about me).
Personally, since she hasn't given you any ideas on her website, I wouldn't bring anything for this first session. During your time with her, if you're so inclined, you can easily find out the kinds of things she'd like. You might find out that she'd be thrilled with a gift card from Home Depot; it could happen. (I was always tickled when a client brought me a book or magazine.)
Another great answer and insight. Never though of allergies . I simply want to be a gentleman , make a good impression , stand out from the crowd and ( as all women love ) let her know I have been thinking of her before our time together. Guess I need to decide . Maybe simple flowers first , and a simple pair of earrings on the second . I do know for a fact that she like butterflies , so I am glad to have that upper hand !
gift card are best or a token piece of real jewelry gold, silver, gemstone but only if you know something about her likes. Wait till the end of the session as not to waste it. If in the appointment setting you find she like a certain beverage or other inexpensive item fell free to pic it up. It might just be a coffee or soda or pack of smokes but they appreciate you asking. Somtimes that jars the memory that they are out of covers, which will save the day.
She may be stunning, but you do not yet know if you have chemistry. Be wary of alcohol as you do not know if she drinks. I think something edible... perhaps a snack to share (crackers & cheese). Any beverages must remain sealed until she opens it (most ladies are very cautious of tampering). A VS gift card in a modest amount is safe & would probaboly be well recieved. The best gift you can give her is to show up on time, follow her instructions for arrival, be discreet, do not push her menu limits, leave her with a good (respectful) impression. skb
Because they take a different approach to these encounters, you might get a few replies from the peanut gallery telling you you're [insert insult here] for being so thoughtful and wanting to make a good first impression. So take that with a grain of salt.
Echoing some other replies, small/low-key is better for a first meeting. It is *really* hard to go wrong with gift certificates of any sort; they're incredibly useful and great for someone you don't yet know well. Jewelry (even something small) can be hard to pick out if you aren't well-acquainted enough with her to know her tastes, but keep that one in the back of your mind for a later date. Personally, I'm not into cut flowers; I like 'em still living and find cut flowers kind of depressing, but I don't think that's a common point of view.
One of my favorite gifts is a bottle of wine that HE enjoys and wants to introduce me to -- but you'd want to make sure she drinks wine first, of course. As with any beverage (or food), keep it sealed and make sure she understands there's no pressure to drink it right then. Some ladies prefer to abstain entirely when they're on a date. I also love love love getting books!
Kinda have to agree, I'd rather bring flowers that are potted than ones that are cut. Mainly because I find it kind of depressing to kill something beautiful to give to someone beautiful.
As for gifts, you make the impression you want to make. I'm sure most of the ladies wouldn't mind a gift, even if they are allergic (they can always ask you to leave it in the bathroom and take it away with you if they are, as a client, I would understand if a lady is allergic or something).
Gift cards seem so cruel. "Hi, I didn't want to take the time to actually think about what you might like, nor did I find you worthy enough to get to know you as a person, so I picked up this crummy gift card...oh? Yes, I do think I got it for Christmas/Brithday/from SO, whatever...what, re-gifting is a problem???" Yea...not exactly the thoughts I want running through her head.
Wine is good, make sure it's sealed when you arrive! Might want to ask her to bring some wine glasses / water goblets (there are nice plastic ones in many grocery stores, won't break easily which is nice if you get a little "ahem" wild!) if not, bring them yourself. I have two sets, each one was only $7.00 give or take. I'd avoid champaign, unless you like women with the hiccups!
Little trinkets of jewelry are nice too. I agree, it's more a second or third date gift (if not later). Some ideas, other than butterflies, plain gold jewelry, etc include getting something with her birthstone in it (it can be lab grown, no need to tell her that. Some women are VERY picky about "fake" gems, but I doubt any of the lovely young ladies who post here are some of them. {yes, that was put in specifically to prevent frying pans from being thrown at me, they HURT!})
Stuffed animals are nice too. Season appropriate is always fun, but who can go wrong with a 6" tall stuffed bear?
Oh yes, and the best gift of all! Bring your own covers! Sorry, but it has to be awkward as hell for a lady to purchase those things. Awkward for us too, but honestly, it goes on our body, so get what you want!
First off, why not just hand her a big jug of lubricant? Because my guess is THAT'S what she really needs with you. Or be really thoughtful and get her some pre-packaged scented wet wipes. Who can't use those?
No sensible woman should be using condoms where she doesn't know the source. In this business context, they should be considered medical devices. Ladies: Get a brand you trust, buy in bulk. Deduct it from your taxes.
As I've said before, this whole gift thing is I think retarded anyway. Guys, if you want to tip her, just tip her. Everyone can use cash. She's not your girlfriend.
Or maybe buy a couple matching 'broken heart' pendants. Oooooohhh, I'm sure she'll never take hers off.
Now pardon me, because I need to send Angelina Jolie a stuffed flying elephant. I read on IMDb that she loves the Dumbo cartoon. I am sure she meant that statement for me. I write her letters. When I sent the first letter, she sent me back an autographed photo. I put it above my bed. Some day we are going to meet. I call sometimes but she is always so busy! Silly girl. She likes to toy with me, play hard to get.
When it comes to buying sex-related goodies! Anyway, I purchase most of mine online, so there's not even the opportunity to be embarrassed/strut my stuff. As John mentioned, a lot of ladies will only use the supplies they bring themselves, and might doubt your intentions should you insist otherwise. Food for thought.
One thing I've been trying when getting gift cards is to send a thank-you note to the person when I use the card, telling them what I got -- or better yet, *showing* them if it's a GC to somewhere like Victoria's Secret. Rowr! Of course, it happens to be a GC to Home Depot, I'm not going to bring the lumber up to your hotel to show it off, so in that case a thank-you note is usually a better option.
Re: The 6" tall stuffed bear -- I misread that as 6' tall stuffed bear! Hahaha. I was imagining having to carry something the size of a carnival prize out the front door of the Ritz Carlton. No, that wouldn't be awkward at all! LOL! 6" is definitely a reasonable choice.
Finally a good answer ! I am a beer man and have no clue about wine or if the lady is a wine drinker - just not my forte' or style. I am a professional beach bum in Ft Lauderdale. Intresting outlook on cut flowers and I love the comment of you being an exception - I always give that answer when my opinion is involved. A simple flower thingy or inexpensive earrings are where I am leaning. The butterfly theme is quite evident and I think will go further ( as far as thoughtfulness ) . Thanks again !
is coming to your hotel room. How could she explain leaving the hotel at a late hour or the next day for that matter, with a bunch of flowers? Remember, discretion.
My suggestion is keep the gift small so she can easily transport it.
My friend, I think you misunderstand the dynamics of hobbying. Not to be too crass, but this is a business arrangement you are about to undertake, not a date. The connection you speak of is called "the Benjamins", and she knows she is appreciated because you leave an envelope on the counter when you walk in the door. She also appreciates repeat visits. But don't make it out to be more than it is- a very personal fee-for-service arrangement- IMAO. Stand out from the crowd by being on time, having the full fee in the envelope, being clean, and getting off quick. This is not a civvie relationship...
I am FULLY aware of this as a buisness arrangement - FULLY. If I wanted anything other I simply take off my shirt when I hit the beach here in Ft Lauderdale - Ladies are not a problem to " pick up ". " Benjamin's " show no class or thoughfulness . You probably think a $10 gift card from Home Depot is thoughfull . Then you can get curtains for you mobile home !
Just trying to answer you question, but since you mentioned class, here goes:
Seeing as I did not insult you, and was only trying to address your question, I fail to see why you felt the need to flame me by mentioning trailers and inexpensive gift cards. I would assume that you were casting dispersions on my socioeconomic level. However, as the owner of an Internet medical information services company, and a practicing physician, I can only assume that said level is much higher than yours will ever be. And while I am aware that money does not equal class, you did bring up the trailers, suggesting you have more than a passing familiarity with such.
As for the taking off the shirt bit, I can only imagine the large crowd of bikini-clad ladies orbiting your Olympian physique, raising the question of when you would even have time or inclination to hobby, what with all the female attention coming your way...
Finally, what I left out from my original reply was that you come across as a total dweeb in your initial post, but I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. I see now that I was wrong in that regard. Because it really is all about the Benjamins, you ridiculous douche.
If you know she likes butterflies I think some playful butterfly themed item would be nice. I know one of the ladies posted that jewelry is too personal, but I have found even on a first meeting it generally goes over very well. It is small so it does not make a big scene (as flowers can sometimes do). Unless you have a reason to know she would not like a gift, or would not like some butterfly jewelry, then I would think that a safe and appriciated gift. More than anything it shows you paid attention, and that by itself is nice.
Why not chocolates...? I have done this routinely with providers I see and they seem to appreciate it. Maybe I am just easy to fool but I haven't had one refuse them yet. My purpose in bringing them is just to let the provider know that I value them and my time with them. A little respect seems to go a long way. If nothing else it makes me feel better...
" Old Traveller " tells me a lot. I should have used that when I registered ! You thought's are spot on and I agree 100%. Being a newbie just wanted to hear from those that have more experience - We learn as we get older don't we The butterfly theme is a given with her if you simply pay attention on your reserch and I did consider the bulk issue of flowers so I think so simple earrings will fit the bill perfectly . Did not want to cross a line so I posted this question. I also learned there are a ton of unthoughful , low class little boys on this site !
I was trying to stay positive on this as you can see from my post above. I think You are allowed to do whatever you want. If you ask for advice, Do not shoot at the ones that answer. They have been there or will be there and answered based on their experiance. Your answer and theirs are both correct in that extras are never turned down but they should not be expected either. Will it get you farther than the non gift bearing guys? Write the review then let us compare your's to others that were from the trailer park.
Notice how, throughout this thread, the OP flames those whose opinions he dislikes with the issue of "class." As if he were more cultured, educated, and refined than the rest of us. HAH! In reality he's just like any other hobbyist, with an envelope full of money in his pocket and a semi-hard cock in his pants. I'd wager I receive the same quality of service the OP does, all without the slightly creepy sentiments that ooze forth from his postings. Its been stated on this board many times that the best gift you can give to a provider is a request for another appointment
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