So I realized something yesterday, probably many years (and thousands of dollars) later than I should have.
I visited a very sweet, young, attractive provider. I paid her full service rates (she is a FS provider) even though what I asked for (and what I almost always want) is an FBSM. I love a BBBJTC ending if I can get it, but more often than not the ending is just a HJ, which is OK too. There are a few reasons for this preference -- one of which is that I admittedly have a fetish about massages and massage therapists. But also, at my age (late 40s) wearing a condom can be detrimental to performance, and I also just really like being spoiled. I like paying someone to take care of me, with me doing very little of the work. I want a nice relaxing massage, with some teasing along the way, that ends with sexual release.
FBSM only providers (especially non-Asians) have become harder and harder to find over the past 20 years, especially in small towns, and especially with the demise of BP and the CL massage ads. AMPs are always available, of course, but sometimes I get bored of that experience and want to find someone non-Asian as a change of pace.
So yesterday I visited this lovely young woman. The session cost me about three times what an AMP visit would cost me; and quite frankly, it was nowhere near as good. The provider gave me a back rub, which was fine. But there was no teasing, no build up, nothing sensual about it. It was just a standard back rub you might get from a friend. She didn't rub my ass, my inner thighs, etc. She then had me flip over and immediately started a BJ. Again, no teasing, no build up, no preliminaries. Just a back rub straight to a BJ. And, to be frank about it -- my performance suffered. I was not able to come, even though what she was doing felt pretty damn good. 20 years ago, I would have had no problem. But now, I need for it to build up a little bit.
I don't blame this provider; I was asking her to do something that's not necessarily her specialty. But I've made this same mistake in the past, and I've finally realized it's my mistake, not theirs. I need to stop paying FS prices and for FS providers when all I want is FBSM. I miss the days when the Backpage "body rubs" section, especially in a major city, would have given me plenty of ladies specializing in that service.
So yesterday I left that girl's apartment and went straight to an AMP, where for a third of the price I got what I wanted. Yes, the first provider was more attractive and I got to see more of her body, which was nice. And yes, at the AMP the ending was HJ instead of BJ. But the overall experience at the AMP -- for what I'm looking for -- was so much better.
The point of all this rambling? I don't know. I guess it's just to get down "on paper" the lesson that I've learned, which is that it doesn't make sense to ask a provider (and to pay a provider) to do something outside of her specialty. Sure, you might get lucky and find that she's really good at it. However, that has not been my experience.
From now on, if I want FBSM I'm going to an FBSM only provider, whether that's at an AMP or somewhere else.