TER General Board

Has the hobby become too much of a GFE?
benton 1297 reads
posted

It seems to me that the hobby has come very close of crossing the line of being less of a hassle than chasing civilian girls.  When I originally started hobbying, it made sense because for an affordable rate I could have a guaranteed good time, with minimal planning or hassle.  Now it seems that any good date will run between 500-700 for the 90 min/2 hour "preferred" date (code for if you really want me to show you a good time.  Then I have to plan days in advance, have references or be whitelisted. Then give screening info, basically details about my life that defeats the whole purpose of paying for anonymous sex.  And then still have the worry of being outed by a provider who has all my information.
Given that it takes about 3 dates norm to secure civvie sex at about 80-150 a date, but with free repeat visits.  And the ease of getting civvie sex with the large number of divorcees out there.  The hassle of "being verified" is approaching the hassle of dealing with a regular date.  The drama in the provider world seems to be coming close to the drama in the dating world

Here are some easy tips...backpage, agencies, and FBSM providers. Faster, Cheaper, less screening from 2 of the 3 in most cases. So, you do have options, and are not required to go with a GFE provider, but if you want all that shit, you will spend more time and money...not for the sex either, but for the illusion.  

You're not the only one who wishes this crap was not so much time and energy, and you're right...if things were like they were when I first started, the rate would be cheaper, and it would take LESS time and hassle. Like all businesses, this one has evolved. What you used to get for 150, you pay 300 for now. What you used to be able to book in a few hours, takes 2 days.  

Do you think I like having to screen? Hell no...it is a pain in the ass! I also don't necessarily always like doing a full 2 hours, and having to wine, dine, and cook...there are days I would kill to just have a guy come in, drop his pants, cum in 10 min. and be gone.  This is the very reason I grandfather old clients, so I can get a mix of dates vs. the same old shit. Sure, they are less money, but also a lot less hassle and drama!

13handicap860 reads

wow,   a girl can now make the same amount and have half the sex,  and just has to throw in a couple smootches. ............what a travesty!!!

It was so much easier a few years ago.  

I could call up my old regulars in the morning and was able to see them that evening and their rates for regulars was no more than 300.  They appreciated their regulars and gave them priority.  

Since then, there have been so many changes, some for the good and some for the worst.  
A lot more ladies are using "assistants" now.  I can understand why they are using them but personally I just find it so impersonal but maybe because I have never had a good experience with them.  

Emailing is a good of guess as any now.  I get responses anywhere between 2 days to 2 weeks now.. Very rarely do I get same day anymore.  Some have reminded me that they have lives outside of this, but so do I.  I never understood that explanation.  

I can tolerate some of these new changes but I cant accept the lackadaisical attitude for such high rates.  Its sad to go through all this to set up a date and drop between 500- 1000 and then find out your girlfriend does more than them.  

This is the end of my rant.  I know for a fact not all ladies are like this but its becoming a lot more work than what it used to be.  So I agree with everything you said London.

benton493 reads

Posted By: kenescalade02
It was so much easier a few years ago.    
   
 I could call up my old regulars in the morning and was able to see them that evening and their rates for regulars was no more than 300.  They appreciated their regulars and gave them priority.  
   
 Since then, there have been so many changes, some for the good and some for the worst.  
 A lot more ladies are using "assistants" now.  I can understand why they are using them but personally I just find it so impersonal but maybe because I have never had a good experience with them.  
   
 Emailing is a good of guess as any now.  I get responses anywhere between 2 days to 2 weeks now.. Very rarely do I get same day anymore.  Some have reminded me that they have lives outside of this, but so do I.  I never understood that explanation.  
   
 I can tolerate some of these new changes but I cant accept the lackadaisical attitude for such high rates.  Its sad to go through all this to set up a date and drop between 500- 1000 and then find out your girlfriend does more than them.  
   
 This is the end of my rant.  I know for a fact not all ladies are like this but its becoming a lot more work than what it used to be.  So I agree with everything you said London.  

The more you guys want, the more you pay. You wanted all this msog, etc etc and now you have it but still bitch. There is more "falling for a hooker", more stalking, more all of what this should not be.  

I screen to make the odds way less that you are not going to be presenting me with a set of steel bracelets or have a history of robbing or raping. Other than that,pay me, treat me like a human being, do your business, I'll do mine, you leave and all is good in the world

Posted By: benton
It seems to me that the hobby has come very close of crossing the line of being less of a hassle than chasing civilian girls.  When I originally started hobbying, it made sense because for an affordable rate I could have a guaranteed good time, with minimal planning or hassle.  Now it seems that any good date will run between 500-700 for the 90 min/2 hour "preferred" date (code for if you really want me to show you a good time.  Then I have to plan days in advance, have references or be whitelisted. Then give screening info, basically details about my life that defeats the whole purpose of paying for anonymous sex.  And then still have the worry of being outed by a provider who has all my information.  
 Given that it takes about 3 dates norm to secure civvie sex at about 80-150 a date, but with free repeat visits.  And the ease of getting civvie sex with the large number of divorcees out there.  The hassle of "being verified" is approaching the hassle of dealing with a regular date.  The drama in the provider world seems to be coming close to the drama in the dating world.  
 

AnotherPerspective764 reads

They usually have custody of their children .  
 Her place is out of the question for any decent Mom or divorcee monger , until you've helped with homework , taken her and her children to the Zoo, Disney world , Go cart world , putt putt , bowling , chaperone on their school field trip , helped with science projects including rounding up supplies , Lazar world ,and  paddle boat captain while you're feeding the ducks .  
  After all that if you decide you don't want to see her anymore,  you not only hurt her feelings but the children will be devastated to lose their Mom's new friend .
   
 Before you offer to pay for the sitter and invite her to your place , are  you sure she isn't crazy ?  
   If you've ever had a woman demand she stay when she's been told politely the party is over and asked  to leave,  you'd wish you  spent five  grand on a hooker for that  week end .  

  If I was you , before I quit hobbying and started a  pick up adventure on the cheap , I would rent a small apartment near my home  , just in case she refuses to leave on Monday morning .   :-D

Posted By: benton
It seems to me that the hobby has come very close of crossing the line of being less of a hassle than chasing civilian girls.  When I originally started hobbying, it made sense because for an affordable rate I could have a guaranteed good time, with minimal planning or hassle.  Now it seems that any good date will run between 500-700 for the 90 min/2 hour "preferred" date (code for if you really want me to show you a good time.  Then I have to plan days in advance, have references or be whitelisted. Then give screening info, basically details about my life that defeats the whole purpose of paying for anonymous sex.  And then still have the worry of being outed by a provider who has all my information.  
 Given that it takes about 3 dates norm to secure civvie sex at about 80-150 a date, but with free repeat visits.  And the ease of getting civvie sex with the large number of divorcees out there.  The hassle of "being verified" is approaching the hassle of dealing with a regular date.  The drama in the provider world seems to be coming close to the drama in the dating world.  
 

I would have to disagree with the cost of a civilian girlfriend cost ending after the third date.

By the way isn't it possible that some guys are paying for acts that their significant other won't perform.

benton892 reads

I absolutely agree and understand about the guy who wants something that the SO won't do.  A provider is a good way to go and know what your getting beforehand.  But even on that score, providers who offer special services are in high demand and can also be hit and miss.  How many greek providers say "It depends on my comfort level."  And the outstanding providers become in high demand, therefore more expensive and less available.  Of course everyman must do what suits him, but I'm just interested on people's thoughts on the matter.  I don't necessarily think the cost of a civilian girlfriend ends after the first date, but in my experience price per pop goes down significantly.  I liked the hobby because of convenience, and while it still is more convenient and there is more of a guarantee.  On some levels the trade off is not as good as it used to be.

Is that what some ladies call 'Porn Star Experience'?

A lot of ladies will charge a bit more for PSE over GFE.

Galaxy

Posted By: StraightCountry
I would have to disagree with the cost of a civilian girlfriend cost ending after the third date.  
   
 By the way isn't it possible that some guys are paying for acts that their significant other won't perform.  

No idea where you are, but I think your idea time is a bit out of whack. I'm new, and I can still just go and call up the agency I've used or either of the independents I've already seen and be at a hotel in a couple hours. I actually booked within 3 hours within the last week. Days in advance is just bonkers, unless you insist it has to be someone you've never seen before every single time, and not through an agency you've used before, AND you don't do P411/DC/ w/e. Being outed is a concern, but it is a bit harder when you have a P411 and a separate email, since a good number of providers won't ask for much beyond that. It's still possible, of course, and depends on the individual provider's exact requirements, but your odds just got lower since they don't have the sheer amount of info they would have otherwise unless you're doing outcalls only so they know where you live.

The pricing for a civ date is highly variable, and likely to be in the range you're mentioning per date, but you have no idea if you're going to get any for it at all. I don't agree on the repeat visits being free - even though they can be, you're not going to have repeat visits for very long if it's free every time. It also takes a hell of a lot more time to pull together - even if you go on those 3 dates 3 days in a row (which ain't happening), you're still at a longer timeframe than even booking with providers you've never seen before who are independent, at least IME so far.

Then for those repeat visits, you have to factor more time in, since she's not going to appreciate only being a booty call - you have to keep that relationship up. Then you have to factor in the time for each of those dates - let's just say 2 hours, since it's on the short side - and you're looking at 6 hours PLUS a potentially equivalent monetary cost PLUS the week+ delay from start to the goal, and a maintenance cost that's not quite as bad but is substantial.

That doesn't even get into dealing with the fallout every time one of those civvie relationships ends...

Benton,

I can understand while you feel frustrated. I agree that screening has added stress when trying to spend time with a provider. With that being said, I can't express how much you are protecting yourself by going the extra mile (screening) an paying a higher rate.  

As humans we all have it in us to behave poorly from time to time. When you are dealing with a high end provider with rave reviews and probably a high end lifestyle to maintain, she more than likely will be treating you with respect, showing up well kept, and going the extra mile to keep you happy.  

When we are dealing with a screened client we reduce the risks of running into sloppy, rude, shady client. Most importantly, and this is another plus for you... We reduce our risks of running ourselves into shiny bracelets by 90%. The last thing you want or need is being associated with a provider that has unwanted fans.  

When you blend these two assets together it keeps both sides in check and on point. Which at the end of the day should be your highest concern.

I promise you this... If you treat every provider with respect, follow through with agreements and don't invade on her privacy,  she wont be outing you.  

I cannot tell you how my experience as a provider has changed since I decided to go the extra mile, pay an assistant, buy the nice car, heels, handbags and strive for a higher level clientele. I can honestly say I do not run into a clients that are ianything less than fabulous! They say you can see a persons soul through their eyes. Tired, bitter and worn out should not be what your seeing when spending time with a provider

Right On Vanessa. You are  extremely smart and obviously well educated.
I'm sure you're beautiful also and in every way.

3mdssa609 reads

grief and frustration completely, understand the same frustrations you speak of happen on both sides.  

Either world, hobby or civvie, we all live there on some kind of level everyday. The playing field is an interesting piece and yes for the safety of all involved, unfortunately in this world and even in the civvie one, forms of screening essentially take place if you think about it. However, any kind of 'romance' is most certainly taking out of any dating scenario these days in both worlds collectively...either way, scheduling, sometimes days or weeks in advance most certainly isn't romantic nor is laying out your bio to anyone on any given day.  

Perhaps you should simply ask yourself the question, which do you enjoy more?  

If I take what you have stated literally, I'd say that 'sex' is your primary and only concern as the bottomline. If you are seriously doing the math and  'counting' the dates required to process sleeping with 'civvie' girls, well then I think you've already answered your question. The hobby world is most definitely for you and unfortunately you will have to just suck it up and go with the flow to be able to spend time with providers who will give you what you want without the recourse you speak of. But yes, it is a 'painstaking' process to get what you want, isn't anything in life...it's not supposed to be so simple is it? Just remember, this 'painstaking' process is also here to provide YOU with the same safety in return no matter how you look at it.  

Now, to completely ease your frustration, you can always get your 'sex' and thensome by easily hitting CL or BP and take your chances. No hassle, plenty of women willing to give you just what you want, when you want, at a price or no price that you want. You will certainly get your money's worth, no info given out, and you simply brush your hands and walk away from it an hour later after you get your rocks off. Simple right?  

Does it boil down to good ol' economics...supply and demand? Idk. But providing a GFE experience which I hold true myself, is for specific gentleman looking for more than the 'sexual' piece you are only after apparently. You need to not look for providers who supply that, simple enough. There are plenty of gals out there who are not into the GFE experience and just want to fuck you the way you want etc etc.  

I wish you luck in your search. Stay positive. Just remember the old adage, 'you get what you pay for' still resonates in my book and usually holds true at the end of the day in most cases imho.  

T.

A good example in addition to what you stated.

I've come home 15 minutes late due to horrible traffic, my significant other will be cool about it. But do the same thing to a provider, one of 3 things will happen.

A. She'll be all pissy and still give the session but at a shorter time frame at the same rates.
B. She'll cancel the session and label you as a NCNS and proceed to blacklist you even though you had a legit reason for being late.
C. She'll be OK with it and proceed to provide you with the best damn session you've even had.

Yea, I've had A and B happened to me a lot more often than C, even after I contacted them letting them know that I will be late to circumstances beyond my control. You don't get nearly has much hassle if it was your significant other.

Just sayin'

Galaxy
 

Posted By: benton
It seems to me that the hobby has come very close of crossing the line of being less of a hassle than chasing civilian girls.  When I originally started hobbying, it made sense because for an affordable rate I could have a guaranteed good time, with minimal planning or hassle.  Now it seems that any good date will run between 500-700 for the 90 min/2 hour "preferred" date (code for if you really want me to show you a good time.  Then I have to plan days in advance, have references or be whitelisted. Then give screening info, basically details about my life that defeats the whole purpose of paying for anonymous sex.  And then still have the worry of being outed by a provider who has all my information.  
 Given that it takes about 3 dates norm to secure civvie sex at about 80-150 a date, but with free repeat visits.  And the ease of getting civvie sex with the large number of divorcees out there.  The hassle of "being verified" is approaching the hassle of dealing with a regular date.  The drama in the provider world seems to be coming close to the drama in the dating world.  
 

Like anything worthwhile, if it is going to be done right, some effort is needed to make things come out successfully.

What you call hassles I look at as skillful preparation in order to enjoy the fruits of this activity.

I think the hobby far outweighs civie dating in terms of cost and overall hassles.  I've done a bit of both, including 20+ years of marriage.

If you stick with gals with good reputations, the problem of blackmail is very minimal.  Civie sex has a lot more intrigues.

As for dating divorcees, I mean no offense to anyone but the term "swimming with sharks" comes to mind.

I think once you get a few references its al uphill from there.
We are known for out discretion.
We are being paid for our discretion and our reputations rely on our discretion.
The best thing is to selectively pick someone with a good reputation.
Happy hobbying :)

I love her and she loves me

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