Actually SG, I absolutely understand. I saw my ATF over a year with only a couple of other dates in there. I began to have BF feelings and took a break, saw others (got ripped off, upsold, scammed... but found a new Fav). I've been back to ATF once since and am planning to again but not exclusively.
That being said, I DO NOT feel cool with asking either of these 2 terrific ladies for referals. And the rest of the one time dates would probably not remember me from Adam.
I aniticipate a vacation next month and plan to see a new lady along with a Fav (maybe both). I hope this is not a problem.
skb
-- Modified on 4/23/2008 4:56:06 AM
I do not like to ask for references... why?
Well, for one thing - and I KNOW this is NOT the case.... but - I feel like I am asking a civie girlfriend for permission to see another woman! I know! but that is how I feel....
The second is - most providers make you feel like you are the god of sex.... but I know that some of them have to say to themselves after you leave... "what was this guy thinking...?" so I am bit intimidated that gals "talk!" I know - this to is the creation of an overactive imagination....
Finally, it seems strange... just a tad - "'scuse me - could you please tell Sally that I am an ok dude... who just happens to be horny...?" see, it even sounds strange....
There are only a couple of ladies I feel semi-comfortable with asking for a references. The others, I may have only seen once, and I just don't feel comfortable asking. And when you do get a reference, it's like bringing a note to your third grade teacher, asking for special treatment. Well, maybe not quite the same, but you get the idea.
As far as the ladies "talking", I'm okay with that, as long as they don't laugh.
I am convinced that ladies go into this business cause they like to laugh... we are a lot to laugh at... like when naked.... ladies are beautifull but look at us.! and we smell... like what? i dunno - but it is NOT good!
laugh... at that!? Bwahahaha.... even I chuckle at times when I look at me in the mirror.... lol!
In fact it's kind of nice receiving emails and calls from providers in cities that I have visited asking for my reference. Personally, it seems like it makes our community stronger and more tight knit.
There are only so many providers and guys like variety. If I'm in my hometown and can't see a visiting hobbyist I am more than happy to direct him to another provider in the area who might fit his needs.
Sure, it's tempting to add a little more info to the reference and sometimes I do, but only in an effort to make the experience more enjoyable for both parties involved. Never do I tell another provider juicy details that may not suit me because it might be different for the other provider and just my little idiocyncrasy.
Basically the other provider justs wants to make sure the client is an established hobbyist and not a threat to their personal safety, someone who shorts the envelope, game player, etc. -e
Let's them know you won't be stalky or wierd on them!
At least the quality ones anyway- sure there may be an occasional regular that would be irritated you want to spend money on other than her, but the grounded ones aren't that insecure. My regulars tell me other awesome ones to see! Has helped me find some quality UTR gals.
That being said, with as many gals as you've reviewed, you should be finding the screening getting lighter and easier- two tips-
1. consider asking for more white listings
2. join P411, RS2K and or Datecheck- the active providers on those services sometimes accepty your 'okays' or hobbyist ratings within those systems
I've found that with mult reviews of really top recognizable ladies, a long list of white listings, and the memberships, I'm rarely reference checked.
reference-asking-adverse client.
You are tied up and shown a previous provider. Each time you refuse to ask her for a reference you get an electric shock to the genitals, followed by a great BBBJ if you do ask her.
Should cure you in no time.
Who wanted to see only me. I make them see at least one other provider before seeing me again and I require proof. You think I'm kidding ... -e
Actually SG, I absolutely understand. I saw my ATF over a year with only a couple of other dates in there. I began to have BF feelings and took a break, saw others (got ripped off, upsold, scammed... but found a new Fav). I've been back to ATF once since and am planning to again but not exclusively.
That being said, I DO NOT feel cool with asking either of these 2 terrific ladies for referals. And the rest of the one time dates would probably not remember me from Adam.
I aniticipate a vacation next month and plan to see a new lady along with a Fav (maybe both). I hope this is not a problem.
skb
-- Modified on 4/23/2008 4:56:06 AM
Referrals come with the biz. Sometimes I don't remember specific clients I'm asked to refer, but what I do remember are the ones I consider to be hinky. If a referring provider can't remember you from Adam it's probably a good thing. -e
You listed some things like shorting the envelope, then had "game player." I couldn't figure out what that meant...
There is really no reason to be weirded out. I think of it this way. Your all my boyfriends with each others blessings. Come to think of it, I have this niggling thought in the back of my mind how you guys talk about us ladies. We present ourselves in an honorable view, classy in dress, flirty in play, and a wildcat in bed. We imagine how you all talk about us, yet, that doesn't stop us from continuing to portray ourselves in our most favorable light.
We talk, but only if it's necessary. When we ask for references from the other ladies, we mostly want to know if they seen you, if you were a NCNS or a rough and scary individual.
About the only stories beyond that may have been from a VERY satisfied lady who was shouting prayers of THANKS and delicious thoughts of gratification.
Beyond that...we keep the juicy details to ourselves.
~winks~
Diana
Right Diane, thats all there is to it. It's easy to get ref from work ect, but that will not tell me you are "ok" to spend time with. You are safe and my safety is what I am looking for. If a lady who hads a good rep tells me he's ok and a sweet guy and I'll have no trouble with him I am at ease, I respect her opinion. In turn thats also all I give out, you are who you are, a Gentleman and sweet. Thats all they are looking for, to know its safe and not a problem. You should not feel or be made to feel bad about seeing another Lady, thats the nature of this business it should be expected.
Nicole~
I don't check my e-mail as often as I should so that contact could slow your meeting down. Always give the referral provider a heads up and your meeting time can be planned so much quicker. Now saying that does not mean that you should think a last minute appointment will work. Thats not fair to the provider seeing you and the provider taking the time to get info for you. Kisses Haley
reference. We don't expect (or really want)an exclusive relationship. By giving references, it makes us a tighter knit community. Never have I had anyone ask for any more information than is he safe? I never share information about our date. My experience could be totally different than someone elses.
I am surprised with all your reviews that you would have problems getting appointments. With all your posts and reviews, you should be fine.
Kari