TER General Board

Re: There have been providers . . . .
Laspho 35 reads
posted

Definitely agree. It’s obvious when you’re not someone’s type. I’d rather use my fun coupons on someone else.

Why do some people feel the need to share there stats?

For example:  

I'm a Caucasian gentleman. I'm mid 60s clean cut blonde hair and green eyes. 5'11 & 175lbs.

Why not just send a selfie 🤳 & let me see for myself?  

My website does not ask for your ethnicity, age, height, or weight when contacting me it's never been a requirement because I am not discriminating against any kind human their stats are not needed to consider a potential booking.

RespectfulRobert29 reads

Personals was short for "classified personal ads" where people looked for RW dating as well as p4p, among many other things. Guys/gals over 55 or 60 would know about them but the younger set def not.
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And even though you may not ask about ethinicity or size, etc many, many women do. So it's more habit than anything else I would assume.  
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Lastly, re: a selfie, I know people under 50 generally dont have an issue with them as selfies have been around for 20 years or so, but many people find them yet another intrusion into their peronal lives and an invasion of their privacy. They dont want their email associated with how they look in person and I cant blame anyone for that.

Yes, and while it is hardly something that would save anyone having a selfie connected to your appointment bookings is going to make things easier -- and feed many here's fears about other misuses. The text description gets a good idea conveyed (a bit like representative pics that are not of the provider do) without giving out clear information that can ID a person. (Again, not something I think really has come back to bite anyone but many have a good reason not to take a risk.)

About the old "classified personal ads":  
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http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/boston-9/re-it-was-kens-224628
Personal ad? Was this one yours? "Hideous Neanderthal seeks attractive SWF ..."

Posted By: mrfisher
Re: It was Ken's...  

We met via a personals ad, and Ken was the go-to place for the initial meet-up.   I would describe myself, and she would be there when I entered, and if she liked what she saw, she would come over and introduce herself. Not sure if there is some similar deal these days, not that it matters anymore.

Historical note to others: Personal ads in the 60s-70s were all pretty much the same (with "official" abbreviations). "SWM seeks SAF ..." "Beautiful SBF seeks SWM ..." "Well educated, professional MWM seeks SWF ..." and on and on. Most of the time, replies were to a box number or code number at the news paper offices (Real Paper, Phoenix, etc. in Boston). There was a REAL ad around that time that began, "Hideous Neanderthal seeks ..."  that sort of became a meme. I wouldn't be surprised if "Hideous Neanderthal" personals appeared in other cities' alternative newspaper personal ads.
Posted By: RespectfulRobert
Re: That mindset goes back to answering "personals" in magazines and newspapers.
Personals was short for "classified personal ads" where people looked for RW dating as well as p4p, among many other things. Guys/gals over 55 or 60 would know about them but the younger set def not.  
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 And even though you may not ask about ethinicity or size, etc many, many women do. So it's more habit than anything else I would assume.  
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 Lastly, re: a selfie, I know people under 50 generally dont have an issue with them as selfies have been around for 20 years or so, but many people find them yet another intrusion into their peronal lives and an invasion of their privacy. They dont want their email associated with how they look in person and I cant blame anyone for that.
I don't recall any personal ads that said "SWF seeks Hideous Neanderthal ...." I wonder if any Hideous Neanderthals replied to such a personal ad with a selfie.

hehitshewins47 reads

I still see ads that ask for ethnicity and age. Not the other details though. My guess is those who send that level of detail are not regulars and simply don't know what's expected. It seems like what someone would post on a Craigslist personal ad or dating website/app.

I get these physical descriptions fairly often, though. I think it’s partly because some providers do ask for things like age and race, and partly because they are hoping to make themselves sound like a more appealing client.  

I don’t mind it. It just tells me that they are concerned about presenting themselves well to me, which is sweet.

Before reaching out. I will never understand why not read the providers website before contacting them?

My contact page is very specific and my requirements are clearly listed.  

I have people who contact me asking questions that can be answered if they would have just read my website.  

Because I require booking with real life id & a selfie 🤳 the stats are not necessary because everything is listed on your id. 🪪  

I find more people are not reading my website and just contacting me with nothing I require to consider a serious booking.

hehitshewins41 reads

There are some providers, and agencies, who specify a selfie is required with the initial message. They will not respond without one. These tend to be providers or agencies who do all bookings and communication via text. I have never seen it expected for those who book via email or web form.

hehitshewins41 reads

That’s what their ads say. I have seen a few on Twitter even post angrily about clients who didn’t follow their directions. I have never experienced being ignored for this reason because if I do contact one, I provide a selfie. I’m a rule follower and always read a providers ad and/or website. And, like I previously mentioned, these are all providers or agencies who communicate exclusively via text. They offer no email or web form options.

Your very open-minded and generous view of humankind is not shared by everyone. I always mention my ethnicity and age because more than a few times I've gotten literally to the door of a provider only to have her tell me she doesn't see black men. Entirely the lady's choice, but I  wish I'd known that before I drove halfway across town.

WRT age, I usually mention I'm an old codger as shorthand for "I'm not looking to jackhammer you 3x in an hour".😆 Not sure whether it's interpreted that way, but no harm in mentioning.

Ditto WRT what others have said about a selfie. I'm of the generation that just doesn't want a picture of myself floating around in the ether and landing on who knows what website, blog post, etc.

Laspho39 reads

I’ve seen girls who admittedly told me in private they don’t see certain races.  You come across as you get bothered by little things. Don’t sweat the small stuff. 🌹

Roughly 2/3 of the K-girl ads in LA state "no black men". I appreciate the clarity. If a provider doesn't want to see a certain type of man, it would be helpful if that's stated up front. To the point QB is making, not every lady is as clear as she is on her website.

It was gifted to me from an old friend who was a quarterback in the NFL.  

I welcome all kind souls. I don't discriminate. If anyone read my website they would know I am raising young mixed men in training. There I s only one race it's the human race.

I'm bothered by people who waste time & never read the entire website prior to reaching out.  

I respect your candor. I will reevaluate based on information and my lifestyle. I think we're all very different. I have not been around this long by luck. ☺️

I'm new to this life, and the few providers I've seen have asked for that info (age, race, etc) I also include my height/weight, only because I think it's sort of relevant, but maybe it isn't.  I just like to get it out there so if they aren't comfortable, then they can either say it, or ghost me, and either way I'll move on.

I don't send a selfie, and have never been asked for it.  If it were asked, I'm not sure I'd proceed.  I don't take selfies and wouldn't want to send one to anyone. I just don't want my image to be 'out there'.  It's personal preference.  And, yes, I'm old school.

Now, with all that said, I'd probably send one to the Queen, since I think it would be considered 'private'.  But, no, I ain't sending one to just anyone.  I'll  find another provider.

some don’t want to send selfies because they think the provider won’t book with them because they are “too ugly”

My thought process is that we, as clients generally know what we’re getting via your ads which include the things you mention (age,,,height,,,weight ,,,, measurements) so I, as a 72 year old 5’ 7” inch 175 pound white male am just reciprocating !!

(see what I did there??)

hehitshewins40 reads

Us, the paying clients, care a lot more about what providers look like than the other way around. Providers care more about safety, payment, behavior, and cleanliness.

I mentioned saying what we (the client) looks like,,,,,, WHERE exactly??

 
What I DID say was a General statistical description  

Age.  
Height  
Weight  
Ethnicity  

Not everyone of my age/weight/height/ethnicity looks alike. But at least with those details a provided has an idea as to what’s showing up at the door

hehitshewins39 reads

You mentioned we are reciprocating it because it's what they do. My point is, they do it because we as clients care. When I go shopping for an escort, I'm looking for a hottie. And, this is more often than not the case for clients. Us reciprocating it because they are doing it might be the reason some do it, but that doesn't mean it's necessary. All I am saying is that unless asked for, it's not and most providers don't care. Maybe, if there is something physically that you are worried about, it's worth checking. But otherwise, it's not.

And you are "height-weight proportionate" as some put in their ads, lol!  ;-)

 
Steph XO

posting not too long ago here that was bemoaning the fact that they not like seeing men who are obese but will soldier through it if they have to.  Likewise, there have been providers who don't want to see men of certain ethnicities.   Many providers do not see men over, or under, a certain age.  It's their business, so providers who are not desperate often to see only men that they find appealing.   Otherwise, a one-hour session can feel like two or three hours when you are watching the clock waiting for it to be over with a customer who is not your type.  

 
From a customer's viewpoint, I don't want to spend time with any provider who is not anxious to see me, so if things like age are a turnoff, I would rather have the opportunity to pass and try someone else, so I am one who does give a physical description of myself when booking.  Full disclosure with no surprises always results in a better session for everyone.  This is why I always take exception with provider photos that are shopped to the point it looks like someone else other than who answered the door when I arrived.  I try to extend them the same courtesy with how I look so they know what to expect.  It hasn't happened to me, but I have some friends here who have not told a provider what to expect and had poor sessions because the provider was put off by their physical appearance.  No one wants to have a bad session because of a failure to communicate on what to expect, so it cuts both ways.  Too much information is better than not enough, IMO.

Laspho36 reads

Definitely agree. It’s obvious when you’re not someone’s type. I’d rather use my fun coupons on someone else.

I think they do it in hopes that you won't screen them because they told you what they look like.

a little rotund, and that is a deal-breaker for her, she is not going to bother screening you anyway, so in reality, she has SAVED you the price you would have paid for a session she will not be into.  Take that money and go find a provider with fewer limitations and REALLY long legs.  Lol

A selfie may show only the face.  Anyway you don't need to focus on it if it's not of interest.

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